NoSelfSelf

Its too hard :)

17 posts in this topic

Tried this for one day and wanted to kill myself

Its too hard 

Whos doing this on the daily basis?

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Moment to moment.

I ask myself the following useful questions:
 

  • Do the parts of me orchestrating this experience right now have my highest potential in mind?
  • If not, why do these parts deserve to life? How have these parts earned residence in my mind?

I've been teaching myself to ensure that the things that govern my behaviour earn their place, meaning their continued existence within me is based on merit as opposed to liberty.

If the place of any aspect is unearned I attack those aspects of myself extremely aggressively like medicine repelling an unwanted biological invasion.

It doesn't deserve to be there if its not in the interests of achieving my potential otherwise why else am I alive? What is the point? So I popped into this existence just to "ladida"?

Given the way I've defined the meaning of my existence not working in the interests of the suffering to achieve potential simply isn't an option. For me it totally and irrefutably defeats the purpose of anything at all existing let alone just pondering about my individual existence.

This is probably very difficult for people in general because many (including myself sometimes - much more so in the past) become attached to whatever (i.e. impulses) appears in their consciousness given the association they give it to their perceived identity.

 

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The emotionally difficult life is the emotionally rewarding life. It will get tough but you can't give up even if you want to. If you get tired learn to rest, not to quit.

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@possibilities thats smart thinking but in the heat of the moment everything drops you are lucky if anything smart comes up

@Cody_Atzori hows rewarding,what do you get out of it in the end (and i know its only way)?

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@NoSelfSelf because it gives you strength and once you have strength you can enjoy things that much more because you feel likes you've earned your enjoyment. If I've challenged myself in one way or another (e.g. exercise, meditation, taking a cold shower, reading, challenging myself socially, contemplation, etc). I know I will be proud of myself at the end of day because I know I'm developing myself and being courageous instead of feeling stuck and purposeless. Also, you don't have to allways be doing the most emotionally difficult thing. It's about pushing yourself to be better everyday and allowing yourself to rest when needed. 

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Everything is hard at first.

You will change if you persist.

But be careful about what you want to change. Try not to go against yourself.

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Posted (edited)

5 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

But be careful about what you want to change. Try not to go against yourself.

How is wanting any change at all, not going against yourself?

Edited by Psyche_92

My journey came to an end. It's all crystal clear now. The "I" that i thought i was ceased to exist. The 5 years of suffering were totally worth it, although i couldn't have done it any differently.

Probably not visiting this forum anymore as of now 5/11/2019.

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@Cody_Atzori i dont feel nothing from accomplishing things but i sure feel pain and frustration from it or not doing it...

@Truth Addict yeah if you persist before getting mental breakdown 😂😂

 

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@NoSelfSelf write down your goals go and acheive them then contemplate if you more or less satisifed and through consistency and persistency you will find and acheive new goals that are more authentic and you will become more integrated, stronger and wiser and you won't feel lost in your journey because you have a drive, and once you've created this awesome life for yourself then you can learn to be still and surrender yourself to the work of the universe, and become a leader so that you can help others walk the path and tell them all the times you nearly gave up and how difficult it was, but that you kept going and now that your on top of the mountain you can die happy knowing you've experienced life as maximally as you could and you're regretless. A jounrey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.

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Posted (edited)

38 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

How is wanting any change at all, not going against yourself?

By accepting the old self and loving it first. Then fulfilling its desires. And then after all that, by starting to take action to make changes, following Maslow's hierarchy.

Edited by Truth Addict

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@Cody_Atzori what you desribed to achieve  ill need to experience so much pain and suffering that virtualy nobody would go to and i dont have a why to do it, awesome life? When is that you dont arrive there its never ending circle jerk imo...

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@NoSelfSelf why do you assume it's going to involve such suffering? The hero's journey will obviously involve suffering, but it's more exciting than painful. Resonate yourself with the excitement of challenge and the possibilities that lie ahead. I know it's difficult but try not to struggle through it, be hopeful and mindful.

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Posted (edited)

@NoSelfSelf

You train for the heat of the moment in advance.

No bs comments back and fourth please that'll be it for me on this one. 

Training for difficult circumstances is standard protocol for any government emergency services. Anyone outside such contexts can do the same thing and many indeed do internal and external to business and organisational practices. From mechanical simulations people can step into, to VR to using ones imagination.

Here's a simple formula I came up with which I use to design goals and accomplish them that may help others, its pretty darn good and maybe some here can perfect it.

0. Consciousness
- what you input into your consciousness and or rather what you experience defines the parameters of what your brain will or can imagine, so focus on inputting quality content. The better the quality of the content you input, the more constructive your imagination will be. Think of the consequence of watching a whole 100 hour lecture series on critical thinking versus what would happen if you instead just watched puppy videos for that period.

1. imagine (i.e. the end result, the vision you have, why you have the vision)
- you're allowed to be a little delusional (i.e. things that seem impossible) here but extremely honest when it comes to the why factor (that honesty will carry you on)
- don't allow your fantasy here to interfere with step 2 and 3 and don't allow step 2 and 3 to interfere with the imagination if it really could be possible even if it seems unlikely

2. engineer (i.e. detailed planning, reverse engineering from end to start how you're going to achieve what you want to achieve)
- you gotta be ruthlessly honest and focused, this is where there's zero delusion where possible

3. Improve (this is where you act on your plan generated in step 2 then seek improvements based on feedback)
- the same with number 2

Maybe that's useful to some.

That's the simple formula I follow and it works extremely well.

Edited by possibilities

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"Whos doing this on the daily basis?"

David Goggins 


No more victim mentality. 

Every single problem in my life is my responsibility no matter how hard it is.

“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me” Batman.

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Posted (edited)

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

 

@possibilities what did you achieve with this formula? 

possibilities

Edited by Preetom

''Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather''

- Bill Hicks

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Posted (edited)

I like to keep my privacy on this forum, otherwise I've made it slightly better now (which you can see in my previous post with the last edit). Otherwise I literally use it for everything and believe that the better I get at using it the better my results will be compared to if I didn't use it.

I have zero care if anyone used it, thought I might just try and be helpful. If anyone can make it better by all means try.

Otherwise I no longer associate myself as being a human and think that such an assertion has a lot of undesirable baggage that goes along with it. To me I am just a consciousness. I am the sum of every idea (inclusive of all possible thoughts) my brain could ever generate, this simple idea makes me question the assumption that I am a human quite greatly. The word human is merely for practical purposes to me. The human body suffers to achieve a difficult goal, I do not suffer though. The attachment to the suffering that comes with being human to me is a lower form of consciousness, if others including myself are able to realise their existence beyond this scope I think they would be much more effective in achieving their goals.

The first goal of consciousness to me should be to learn how to use the brain (i.e. to overcome the body and perceived limitations of potential), hence why I noted critical thinking, its a good example of this. This describes step 0, which is more around determining what inputs are going to be made into consciousness, of which someone could follow with the rest of the loop to determine if they wished. At present, my prediction would be that mostly the reverse is occurring with a person, that is their imagination is just bouncing from one thing to the next without really being strategic about their inputs. This is a problem, it easily results in consciousness forming confused identities about itself, along with, collective identities that form the shallow surface of any personal identity given there aren't clear distinctions being made between consciousness and content, the content of imagination from what contributes to the imagination and so on. In saying so, being strategic about step 0 is something that of course could be done for every step, because indeed every step requires the process of an engineering phase to really determine the utility of how one is following any formula not just this one.

Edited by possibilities

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