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billytblack

Psilocybin Trip Report - 4g

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TRIP REPORT:

 

WHAT: 4g Psilocybin

Ate breakfast before

Stayed sleeping down on my back with my eye closed most of the trip

 

 

Oh boy, how that trip was different from the other two before. I had lots of questions in mind and.. all of them were answered dead on. The trip really felt like a 'tour in a human life' thing. I'll try to be brief about my experience. My learnings will be at the end.

 

12:00pm

It started off like usual, then got troubled by negative thoughts. But the answer was simple: Negative thoughts are just a label. Thoughts will always pop up. They are like flies flying around. Just don't bother. My eyes were still open at that point and I remember looking at my hand: I had 7 fingers wtf! It made me laugh so hard. Then I closed my eyes for the rest of the trip. I was just laughing A LOT.

 

1:00pm

At some point I started to giggle so much, to have a blast, feeling my soft skin, the love, thinking that I am so pretty and life is beautiful, so much so that I really started to believe I was a woman. Again, hard to explain, but I was really starting to freak out: ' Am I a woman?'. Then what happen after that is crazy. I saw and felt the raw, aggressive, unmovable, calculated, powerful masculine energy come up from the bottom of my legs; like a beast or a dragon and all my groin area became red with furiousness. That stopped the giggle instantly and the feminine part of me got so drawn to the masculine, like a magnet; impossible to say no to it, even if it looked dangerous. The feminine literally got swept off her feet by the masculine, and the masculine's fury got calmed down the feminine energy. For the first time in my life, I felt like a man. Period. I now understand how my dad is a fucking beast.

 

2:25pm

At some other point, I was laying in a big church, with huge glass windows (I'm not religious btw). There were chants, and it smelled like incense/candles. I was there, about to die, on a rock bed in the center of the cathedral.. it took a while haha, but before letting go my last words were: Just be. And then I let go, back to god. This next moment was really something. I could see/feel emptiness, supreme power behind me, behind my heart/head. This one I can't explain it, but wow. After this 'emptiness moment', I slowly came back to my senses and spent some time in my mom's belly, I could hear everything as if I was inside. I was crawled into my bed at this point, with my hands on my heart. I could hear my parents talk through the belly I was in.

 

4:30pm

End of the trip

 

 

LEARNINGS:

-Sharpen that focus, intent, aggressiveness. Set my own boundaries, be clear, be organized, be in control. BE A MAN.

-Stop lying about little things all the time.

-Use frustration and anger for the best, not the worst.

-The lower part of the body is where masculine energy resides, the top part is the emotional, creative feminine.

-Just be, so simple. We make our lives so difficult.

-Let go immediately of any attachment. Like in improv, the longer you stay attached to an idea, the worse it becomes for the scene. It's ok to have thoughts, but don’t get attached to them, move on.

-Call dad to say thank you for everything he did.

-I need to give love, that’s a big missing part in my life.

-Remove noise in life (clean apt, distractions, tv, etc).

-Labels; STOP labeling.

-Perfection is a concept, concepts are made out of words.

-Let the body learn, no need for the mind to always control.

-There will never be an ultimate answer, not even with 100 lifetimes could someone understand 'it'.

 

I agree with Leo that psychedelics, when used properly, are an extremely valuable tool to learn things that could take you months or years otherwise.

 

 

NEXT STEP: 10mg 5meo ?

 

 

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