Lessons Learned From 2 Years of Actualizing

[AdamDiC]

Yo, what the fuck is actual growth? What is real knowledge? How can you go from ignorance to knowing? What's really  going on in this developement field?

I having grasped the challenge and scope of self-actualizing until I created 0 results after 2 years of "doing" it. 

Ya like really, for the past 2 years I've just been faking it, scratching the surface really. A video here, half a book there, one mushroom trip, a meditation retreat. but like fastforward ALL THIS TIME AND I"M STILL BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON.

So that begs the question; what really creates growth? What am i missing? What am i doing wrong? What's the bigger picture?

And this is what I've learned, and in a way, i've only learned this because of my mediocre attempts at actualization from the past 2 years, it may look like a failure to many, but this is real growth from experience.

• Self-help is has to be 10x more intimate and personal then you think
  • You really don't want to change your stubborn ways, you want to avoid all the complicated topics and cringey stuff, but unfortunately that is where all the growth happens
  • When you're talking about goals and values it's obviously all about you, the vision that you want to build for yourself anf the life you want to build, try to keep that focus, of ego, when deciding what to work on with yourself
• Contemplating and thinking is sooooo important
  • We don't even use our minds. Education systems don't teach us to think critically about our lives and others. This is the most valuable muscle we have as a human and it's sad to see that %99 of people get tired after 10 minutes of contemplation or planning
  • Real knowledge and wisdom comes from deriving insights for yourself, contemplationg on book notes, videos, objects
  • You really have to become curious of your life, suffering, needs, desires, and world
• The BIgger Picture is a Must
  • trying to understand any field takes a lot, like waaay more focus and work then you thought of
  • Something like happiness can be studied for months
  • need to appreciate what you are trying to do when you undertake the task of gaining understanding of something, most of the time there are many linking fields that will also need study
  • Have the expectation that you can't and will never fully understand any subject, but only a better insight
• Have to be proactive
  • it basically has to be your life, that is, the search for knowledge, truth, fullfillment, and authenticity, like you have to live and breath this stuff, you can fall of the horse sometimes but in the end if you don't naturally gravitate towards it again you're fucked
• You're always less developed then you think
  • Ya you're stupid and you think you're smart, and that just adds to the stupidity
  • Notice how most sages are the most humble and modest, they accept their ignorance
  • Don't resist the basic of personal developement, you are not above them, most of the time you think you are but you're actually just repressing the resistance
• Habit and patience is key
  • A little bit everyday, keep the train rolling,
  • It's so hard to keep learning, to finish a book, a course or a project,but that is where experience comes from

OK, that's all for now. Keep actualizing, or trying to. It will all workout in the end. Peace.

 

 

[daniel695]

these are some tips, how have you embodied this? 

[denydritz]

I agree that contemplating and thinking are important. We're not educated to think correctly, and it leads us to errors in thinking.

As you say, anyone can do various activities to develop their self but not make any progress even after a few years. This can happen when we define progress as doing activities, when instead it's building understanding. When we understand the path we need to take to grow as a person, then we start to do the work that makes us grow forward without going backward.

Maybe we want instant results and aren't patient to go through the process of growing our selves. We try one technique and when it doesn't work as fast as we want it to, we jump to another technique and repeat the cycle until we lose faith in self actualization.

[Good-boy]

After doing two years of do nothing , I have realized that I have done nothing. Fml

[ExodiaGearCEO]

Thanks for sharing this. But what I believe you need to do is have a life purpose. It’s easy said then done. Plus, what I also learned is that homeostasis is a freaking bitch. Whenever I tell myself that I wanna change. I will do it maybe a week straight then boom! Homoeostaits kick in and I go back to my old bad habits. It’s very hard to change! Got to get better at building displines! 

[AdamDiC]

@daniel695 Hmm yes.

Well I feel like i'm embodying the mindset for personal dev. I've learned that it takes time to gain understanding. So I'm more patient with my self, i expect less results, i see value and daily advancemnet (reading 5 pages, doing one mental exercise) these things build up.

More practical embodyments would be a dailiy contemplation habit and a daily reading habit.

Currently I meditate everyday, but it's a slow and painfull process to create a stack of habits.

Mostly I've just emobodied my ignorance. It takes a lot to know a lot and I'm prepared for that journey ahead. It's not a sprint but a marathon. 

Thanks.

[AdamDiC]

@denydritz Exactly man, you got it.

@Good-boy There was no other way I would have learned that. You see I wasn't actually doing nothing, in my mind i was trying hard to actualize, but the lesson learned is that there are things that work and things that don't. what you think will work (the mind) mostly always turns out to be bullshit, it's fantasy and illusion. You have to ground your development in the moment. Like everything else.

@ExodiaGearCEO I am currently working on Leo's LP course as you speak and yes i see the value in it. One really has to be focused on the most important aspects of his life and see a goal or vision worth fighting for to really get anything done in this life. Like you need it. But the fact is that no one is trained to be this way. Most people just wake up and go through the motions. A LP stream lines your actions, your motives, your desires, passions, and creativity into one niche area of growth for the world. 

If your life purpose was to brush your teeth wouldn't you run to the sink every morning? If it was to eat breakfast wouldn't you rip open the fridge to get it? LP should be simple, exciting, and broken down into small attainable steps. There should be something you can do every single day to work towards it.

And for homeostasis, the fact is that once you know about the theory, you can't help but use it as a scapegoat. yes your body does react against change, but i know you also tell yourself. "Why do i feel this way, oh its homeostasis. Fuck i can't beat that it's in my genes. Oh well let's give up" You have to know homeostasis is at play and still be detached from it affecting you.

Peace

[Shin]

[TheAvatarState]

Funny, after 2 years of dicking around with psychedelics and basically dipping my toes in with self-actualizing, I find myself a COMPLETELY different person. It's insane! Guess it just goes to show that everyone is different... However, I think you've had a lot more progress than you're giving yourself credit for. Keep on trekking my friend!  

[Anton Rogachevski]

Very good advice. Totally resonate.

Thank you for sharing,
Keep at it!