The battle between heart and the self (fear)

[Charlotte]

@zambize both happened ?

I also stood and spoke with a guy who's on his 8th Ayahuasca retreat, believes the government and queen are reptiles and we are all inside a matrix (no shit) ?

Guy tells me there's an Ayahuasca retreat 30 minutes drive from my home town ?? I think he was a zen devil.

[zambize]

5 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

I also stood and spoke with a guy who's on his 8th Ayahuasca retreat, believes the government and queen are reptiles and we are all inside a matrix (no shit) ?

You just aren't experienced enough to have those deep of insights probably   One day you'll understand, hopefully before the lizard people get you

[Charlotte]

@zambize I learnt so much from him. He does a retreat once a month. I thought wow that's a lot. He said he needs to purge. I am not gonna say he's mental or whatever because that's labeling from my personal perspective. I asked him who's it? Who he keeps referring to and he replied the devine. He was told through mother Ayahuasca to deliver these messages, to warm people that the time is coming. 

[Charlotte]

@zambize Not gonna lie though he did sound like he was reciting from some sort of cult. 

He's the highlight of my day though

[zambize]

20 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@zambize Not gonna lie though he did sound like he was reciting from some sort of cult. 

He's the highlight of my day though

That's awesome I always enjoy talking with someone who you cant tell of they are completely deluded or genius, or a bit of both.  How did the activism go?  You activate anyone?

[Charlotte]

@zambize exactly!!!! ? That was the exact scenario. 

Oh aye! About 21 between the whole group but it was pretty quiet in Manchester today to be honest. Do you do any? 

[Charlotte]

I've just realised something. 

Whenever I walk into a room to sit I always go into the corner. Something that just randomly hit me ?

[zambize]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

@zambize exactly!!!! ? That was the exact scenario. 

Oh aye! About 21 between the whole group but it was pretty quiet in Manchester today to be honest. Do you do any? 

No I haven't yet, I definitely would consider it if the opportunity presents itself.  You happy you got into it?

[Charlotte]

I highly recommend it @zambize not only for the benefits of other beings but for personal growth also. It's mad how much growth (when managed properly) can come from this type of work. 

[zambize]

18 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

I highly recommend it @zambize not only for the benefits of other beings but for personal growth also. It's mad how much growth (when managed properly) can come from this type of work. 

I'll definitely keep that in mind, also I'm glad there are more than 2 corners in a room otherwise we wouldn't be able to be in the same room D:, love me some corners

[Charlotte]

13 minutes ago, zambize said:

also I'm glad there are more than 2 corners in a room otherwise we wouldn't be able to be in the same room D:, love me some corners

Oh my god 

 

I had to try and imagine a room with one corner and now my head hurts ?

[zambize]

6 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

Oh my god 

 

I had to try and imagine a room with one corner and now my head hurts ?

room in the shape of a tear drop <3

[Charlotte]

@zambize well yeah! God I'm stupid at times ?

By the way you raise some interest in activism, would you be interested in vegan activism? Anonymous for the voiceless have these cubes nearly everywhere and I was wondering they might actually have one where you live. 

9 hours ago, now is forever said:

where would you go if there wasn’t a corner at all?

I'd stand with my back against the spherical wall as far back as poss ?

Reason I brought this up to begin with is because I feel this has to do with being 'safe' being able to 'get a feel' to the room in a safe space. It's something maybe I should delve into further.

[Charlotte]

What can I say?

do I need to say? 

or can you just feel with me? 

how beautiful this all is... How majestic and sacred 'this' is. I thank everybody I meet no matter what they bring. I thank everything I pass on my travels as I ride this wave of life. How can I ever show my gratitude for what I have? For the feet that carry me, for the ego that protects, for the fear that guides me to eternal love.

There is nothing else... You need nothing... You have everything... You are everything. See this now and you will see you're love, you will feel compassion like you have never before, you will be gratitude. Everybody you meet is perfect, smile at them through your eye's and extend this compassion to them, walk over the earth and give it back what it gives to you, give it love and grace. 

Witness this. 

Be this. 

Awaken to the miracle around you, in you, through you... You.

???

[zambize]

3 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@zambize well yeah! God I'm stupid at times ?

By the way you raise some interest in activism, would you be interested in vegan activism? Anonymous for the voiceless have these cubes nearly everywhere and I was wondering they might actually have one where you live. 

I'd stand with my back against the spherical wall as far back as poss ?

Reason I brought this up to begin with is because I feel this has to do with being 'safe' being able to 'get a feel' to the room in a safe space. It's something maybe I should delve into further.

No you're not stupid, actually I shouldn't make assumptions that's rude, you could be stupid but I think you're great either way

As far as vegan activism, my diet is actually more vegetarian than anything.  I'm certainly interested in animal rights and think there is a lot of suffering that can be addressed.   I just don't know that this specific group would be a great fit for me because I'm not actually vegan myself

Also I was scrolling through their fb page, got some interesting stuff haha.  That cow is thick

 

@now is forever If there isn't a corner, I'd just leave.  Not actually, just the back row probably.  I just don't want to be the center of attention, I also find it more fun to watch all the funny mannerisms people do

[Charlotte]

@zambize may I ask what's stopped you at vegetarianism? 

So true @now is forever ?

[Charlotte]

This week has been fucking brilliant 

Yesterday I combined reishi with a microdose of magic mushrooms and I literally felt a miniscule ego death. I was walking the dogs and this fear energy penetrated 'me' then it just erupted into love. Because I was able to observe everything rather than Identify it just flowed. When the love came I cried so deeply. People must think I'm fucking nuts (bet this is why people think other people look nuts ?) 

Then the blissful feeling passed and it was just still, like an uninterrupted still lake. 

The whole day I observed action without thought. It was fucking mental. I was doing things without thinking ? this shit was slowing I tell thee. 

I also started fasting again. I had fasted yesterday before microdosing so I'm wondering if that had any positive effects to the dosage. Either way I'll keep upping the dosage. 

When I went to Madeira I met a guy. Our hearts where old friends. You could feel it. We became such good friends in the space of 4 days. He's not long arrived in London so I've just booked a hostel and a return ticket for this Saturday-Monday to go and see him. He's really woke this guy. He's originally from Canada, he's absolutely hilarious. Looking forward to that. 

This morning I am going meeting friends to study for 3 hours. 

Will catch up later ?

[zambize]

6 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@zambize may I ask what's stopped you at vegetarianism? 

So true @now is forever ?

Because I think the dairy industry can and is often done right,  I grew up in a more rural town where there were a lot of farmers, and seeing the way they treat their animals and cared for them made me feel like there is a place for the industry.  It's complicated because there are farms that I feel treat their animals well and I'm comfortable buying milk from them, and also farms that don't look after the well-being of their animals.  I think this is why it's kind of a sticky issue for me, because in practice you can't separate the two.  I'm certainly buying milk from both people that abuse their animals, and people that take really good care of their animals. I would say overall my choice is based on a mix between being exposed to what I saw as healthy farming and also that I just really like dairy and it's an important part of my diet.  It's something I'm still thinking about, I definitely want to limit the suffering I cause others, but me wanting to live will kill others.  Even going vegetarian, there are animals that are going to die when they are kicked out of their homes in place of a farm field to grow vegetables.   So I really see all methods of nutrition as something that will end up in the suffering or death of some other creature, and see dairy as one of the better methods.  I live in a state which revolves around it a bit, so I definitely have my bias but that's a rough idea

[Charlotte]

@zambize these farms you speak of zambize that treat there animals well... I'm genuinely curious... Do they artificially impregnate their cow's? Do they take the calf away from there mother? Do they still pump the animal with hormones? What I'm curious in is do these good farms even exist? 

I don't think animals will be kicked out of anywhere really though, I think they just stop breeding as many animals for slaughter the less meat is bought. 

I understand your point though don't get me wrong. 

[Charlotte]

I can see the ego at play in daily life. In obvious ways. 

I'm sat talking to people and it's staring me in the face like I'm looking at a pane of glass. I can see the lies, the subtle ways in which 'I' remain. Ego is more noticeable when conversing with others because that's where the BS comes out to play the majority of the time. 

I can literally feel the pull of the BS wanting to sprout and flourish ?

Starting microdosing again was one of my more strategic moves.