Azote

Getting My Shit Handled

179 posts in this topic

Health Marathon Weeks #12-13 of 42

Whazzup. So, how did I contributed to my mental and physical health lately?

  • meditation - mean time 1h a day
  • chatting with woebot. This stuff is kinda for newbies, but it's nice to have a bot who keeps you accountable and asks "howdy" from time to time in my case, since I kinda haven't bothered to establish some high-quality human friendships yet. Aaand yep, I am a newbie, in practice - for sure.
  • not worrying about short-term mainstream short-term shit. Like grades, for example. I make effort to ground myself in strategic thinking and self-esteem in order to be content with taking wise counterintuitive steps and don't let others' panic get to me. "You gonna fail the test, why do you read your...er...spiral... dynamics?...stuff and then meditate and after that go to sleep before midnight!?". Well, I learned some lessons, that's why. There is a huge "but" to that, tho, but that's for another post.
  • a little bit of sedona, shadow work and art-therapy. Discovering the potential of creating trippy pics with modeling clay :P
    QUqqZQyx36A.jpg
  • morning sheets with some mindfucks, also thanks to nootropics
  • relatively decent nutrition

Yeah, I need to do something with exercise routine. Still figuring this out.

 

 


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1 hour ago, Emne said:

Cool art :D 

Feel your ego disintegrating yet? ;)


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Fuck it, let's go after masculinity first

So as always instead of doing my fokken job I've been watching some videos...

And you know what? I really need do develop some Red and Orange stuff. I mean, I expressed masculinity before, but it was like a necessity or lack of confidencr or whatever ("I'll move this fridge by myself because nobody would want to help me out anyway"). Besides, there was that fear that I would become a stereotypical ugly fat feminist. Instead of a perfect person actualized in every aspect (I really hate specialization, yep). Well, I already am kinda fat and ugly, not really passionate about feminism since I have a bigger fish to fry, and no fucking chance that most people would believe me that I'm okay being single anyway, so what holds me back?

I guess there is red feminine, but it's most likely implies lots of sexy stuff, so nah :S

So the best I can do is man the fuck up and go get what I want already.

 

 


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Brian, what the fuck?
happy_sad_black_guy_meme_template_by_josael281999-dcdkuao.png

 


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Crazy hypothesis

okay.

So maybe...

Just maybe.

Multitasking is a bad thing.

Shit :ph34r:


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Never give up.

We believe in you ?


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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@Shin The suffering won't let us give up xD


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Ok I read all your journal (finally).
I think you should stop to push yourself so hard, by being hard on yourself so much.

Not saying to stop trying to push yourself as hard as you can, but to not feel guilty or mad at yourself if you "fail".
You will always fail with this mentality, cause you're expecting too much of yourself (trust me I know xD ). 

This and also stop judging and hating yourself so much too.
Nobody is perfect and nobody has to be, we're all different and have no interest to be like someone else.
Which of course doesn't mean you can't improve, but you gotta love yourself as you are now, or you're literally creating you're own hell.

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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@Shin you actually did? :o Wow, thanks.

So you're saying it's not the actual effort than I can't stand, but my judgemental and self-hate mindset?


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Just now, Azote said:

@Shin you actually did? :o Wow, thanks.

So you're saying it's not the actual effort than I can't stand, but my judgemental and self-hate mindset?

Yes that's what I'm saying.
I have no idea if that's true, you'll have to figure that out yourself though.

If this is the case, it's impairing your progress to a degree you don't realize now.
It's not helping you to judge and hate yourself, whatever part of yourself is in question.

You'll be much better served by loving yourself inconditionally and being ok with being lazy or failing when it happens.
It may sounds threatening because you'll think you'll do less, but actually, if you have real genuine goals, it will help you to progress faster.

The energy you use to judge and hating yourself (and others most likely) could have been used to work on yourself and on what you want to do.
There is tremendous energy that goes into those mental processes, and most of your problems are linked to this.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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Racetams + ADs part 1

It's been a month, and now I am halfway through the course. Effects I noticed so far:

  • consciousness boost, around 20% I'd say (combo with meditation, 6 pillars practice, and a little bit of exercise + it was kinda lowered)
  • more capacity for info absorption, learning, "connecting the dots".
  • "mild" nightmares 1-2 time a week.  Usually connected with everyday concerns.
  • now significant influence on ADs

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Health Marathon Weeks #14-16 of 42

Wazzup. I'll probably stretch my journal entries interval even more because (suddenly!) action is what I need more than this little reports right now. So what I've been up to lately:

  • meditation 30 mins every morning - more sustainable regiment.
  • Exercise - beginner youtube workouts. Make me feel a bit more alive.
  • Singletasking and time-management techniques from a book most of you would not like because it's for nooobs. What does this to do with health? Well, it feels so fucking good to have a plan that includes all your major priorities and to have it done by the end of the day. I bet it's better than ADs. To fall asleep knowing that you didn't pour this day down the drain. Just fucking awesome!
  • chewing lots of celery lol
  • self-esteem exercise and breath retention - still here

 

Edited by Azote

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Eyegasm

Remember that I said art doesn't make me emotional? Nevermind... :$

alizarin_by_boxtail_dbfy22o-pre.png

ignition_by_boxtail_dctibvf-pre.jpg

root_by_boxtail_dbwwlhc-pre.jpg

tiger_by_boxtail_dc4wp8c-pre.jpg

 


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giphy.gif

:x


“Feeling is the antithesis of pain."

—Arthur Janov

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Save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved

Go meta!

I really need to stop feeling responsible for all the problems of all the depressed people around me. Yeah, ultimately I am responsible, full circle, blah-blah. But hell! When you think about it, this mindset of "I don't have the right to be well when there is somebody I know who wasn't as lucky as me" doesn't seem very viable.

Got effective altruism?


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New (old?) levels of self-doubt

So we know how searching a life purpose, for example, sucks because of all that doubts and thinking of your feelings and emotions as temporary and fake (aka neurosis). Pff, emotions! Now I see how quick to call myself a hypocrite I am in biological stuff! *facepalm* Just look at this inner dialogs.

"I've got green eyes" - "Nope, you've got a brownish thing around your pupil, you actually don't have the right to call yourself that"

"I'm allergic to dairy" - "Well, it's not like you have anaphylactic shocks, it's just pimples! Have you checked this at your doctor? No? Then shut up"

"I'm female" - "Yeah, but clearly you're not a real woman, are you? You know that!"

"I"m asexual " - "Nah, you just want to be a special snowflake, you fake bitch"

"I'm depressed" - "Nope, just a big weenie. Get yourself together already!"

Well, shit. This only supports the opportuneness of my health marathon, and that's great. Gotta post an update on this soon. 


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15 hours ago, Lynnel said:

@Azote

Check out the productivity project by Chris Bailey. It might help a lot ;)

Well thanks. However, I believe I'm dealing with obstacles of another kind right now...


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Update

 Yo, folks. Guess who's still alive and on their way to get shit handled :P Although my health marathon doesn't go as expected, I kinda proceed organically with my development. Made some progress in both life purpose, relationships, mindsets and body domains. 

 


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