tomorrow I am gonna challenge myself

[Ulax]

@Valach Have you found success with any healing modalities?

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Ulax said:

@Valach Have you found success with any healing modalities?

Do you mean if healing modalities made me successfull or if I found modalities which effect made me progress in healing?

[Inliytened1]

@Valachi am not sure why you are bringing trauma into this discussion.  That is not pertinent and could confuse others.  And cause them a lack of confidence 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Ulax]

Just now, Valach said:

Do you mean if healing modalities made me successfull or if I found modalities which effect made me progress in healing?

The latter

[Valach]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

@Valachi am bot sure why you are bringing trauma into this discussion.  That is not pertinent and could confuse others.  And cause them a lack of confidence 

Trauma's on of the biggest manifestation is within relationships and socialization.

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Valach said:

Trauma's on of the biggest manifestation is within relationships and socialization.

Do you have evidence of.this? Where do you get this from

 

[Valach]

Just now, Ulax said:

The latter

I see. Of course any meditative practice for building concentration or self-awareness or insight is great as an assistant for any healing - like vipassana meditation.

Then TRE (trauma release exercise) worked very well for any bodily tension - it basically aims into triggering natural tremor response in our bodies that function to release tension from the body and nervous system.

Then IPF (ideal parent figure protocol) for healing attachment trauma. It is basically about remapping narrative mind from the early childhood experiences. Basically you imagine ideal (different from real) parents behaving towards your 3-year old self in the best way possible and satisfying your core attachment needs - this then translates into how you relate to your self and other people as well.

Then I did a bunch of IFS as well. Great tool, not sure how much it did for me as I was combining a lot of shit but it definitely made me more self connected.

[Ulax]

Just now, Valach said:

I see. Of course any meditative practice for building concentration or self-awareness or insight is great as an assistant for any healing - like vipassana meditation.

Then TRE (trauma release exercise) worked very well for any bodily tension - it basically aims into triggering natural tremor response in our bodies that function to release tension from the body and nervous system.

Then IPF (ideal parent figure protocol) for healing attachment trauma. It is basically about remapping narrative mind from the early childhood experiences. Basically you imagine ideal (different from real) parents behaving towards your 3-year old self in the best way possible and satisfying your core attachment needs - this then translates into how you relate to your self and other people as well.

Then I did a bunch of IFS as well. Great tool, not sure how much it did for me as I was combining a lot of shit but it definitely made me more self connected.

Thanks. Which one helped the most? And please could you elaborate on the results you got with IPF?

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Do you have evidence of.this? Where do you get this from

 

Learning from different teachers and modalities and drawing my own conclusions. Some of them are gonna be more popular (like Gabor Mate), some of them might be more controversial (like dr. Bercelli), some of them just unknown (like Daniel. P. Brown).

[Inliytened1]

8 minutes ago, Valach said:

Learning from different teachers and modalities and drawing my own conclusions. Some of them are gonna be more popular (like Gabor Mate), some of them might be more controversial (like dr. Bercelli), some of them just unknown (like Daniel. P. Brown).

Well. Its bulllshit.  Trauma has to do with your overall sense of contentness. Not getting laid.  I have over 300 women.  Have i.had trauma sure.  But do I let it bother me. Hell no. You have a choice. And dont think you don't. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

Just now, Ulax said:

Thanks. Which one helped the most? And please could you elaborate on the results you got with IPF?

I am still fairly early in the journey, I started just this year and as almost everyone I deal with a lot of self-sabbotage (read: doing jack shit and playing video games when I should be doing inner work).

I would say TRE and IPF were the best when combined. I realized I carry a lot of tension in my body which makes it hard to do practices. TRE help me calm down and then the practices starting hitting more.

As far as IPF -> I can't really comment on intimate relationships since I am not dating on purpose while doing this so did not have a close romantic partner yet. Things got first worse, way worse actually, because I suddenly became aware of all the patterns that used to run in the background. But from what I noticed I view other people in more positive light, it's like i am able to see the best in them even if we are not aligned. I am far more able to recieve validation (which I would often dismiss) and I crave it less. I am more open and vulnerable with people as well as authetic. I am less scared of people being dependent on me. Empathy increased quite a lot. Often times I have this feeling after meeting someone knew that I know them better than they know themselves. But I estimate I need another year probably to feel the full effect, let's see. 

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Well. Its bulllshit.  Trauma has to do with your over overall sense of contentness. Not getting laid.  I have over 300 women.  Have i.had trauma sure.  But do I let it bother me. Hell no. You have a choice. And dont think you don't. 

The thing with trauma is that you can develop a coping mechanism to your trauma that will lead to you actually being able to attract people a lot (to a degree I had that too - a lot of my charisma was performance), but it does not help you with having healthy relationships with people or with being content in general. It is performative and not genuine. So that is not something I would promote.

Think about two people who have the same trauma and feel like they are not sufficient. One will cope with getting amazing career and hot girlfriend and whatnot. The other will cope by being resigned and playing video games and smoke weed. First one may appear more succesfull but deep down they both suffer the same. 

[Inliytened1]

6 minutes ago, Valach said:

The thing with trauma is that you can develop a coping mechanism to your trauma that will lead to you actually being able to attract people a lot (to a degree I had that too - a lot of my charisma was performance), but it does not help you with having healthy relationships with people or with being content in general. It is performative and not genuine. So that is not something I would promote.

Think about two people who have the same trauma and feel like they are not sufficient. One will cope with getting amazing career and hot girlfriend and whatnot. The other will cope by being resigned and playing video games and smoke weed. First one may appear more succesfull but deep down they both suffer the same. 

No no. See. This is where I am going to be getting spiritual.  And you have never been to the spiritual forum.  There is no trauma.  Its completely imaginary. If you aren't conscious of it simply doesn't exist.   So. Its not a coping mechanism

 Its that it was an illusion.  External reality doesn't exist.  So your trauma is imaginary.   There was never a self to experience that.  So. If you want to feel the pain of trauma to the self so be it.  But you don't have to let that stop you by any means

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Zenterus]

21 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Well. Its bulllshit.  Trauma has to do with your over overall sense of contentness. Not getting laid.  I have over 300 women.  Have i.had trauma sure.  But do I let it bother me. Hell no. You have a choice. And dont think you don't. 

Brother, if you think that trauma and socialization arent interconnected, you're greatly mistaken. In fact, having a high body count or being hypersexual, as psychologists call it, is often corrated to having a degree of trauma. Trauma manifests the most in relationships with others, not in isolation, as trauma is most often caused by your loved ones or people whose love you seeked when you were growing up. 

As children we dont have a mature way of handling that trauma and thus we stunt our bodies natural emotional processing system -- because part of that process is actually experiencing those painful emotions fully, which sucks to do -- and thus we store those traumatic sensations in the body and develop belief systems on top of them that are meant to protect us from experiencing that same pain again.

Fast forward to adulthood and those traumatic emotions and belief systems quietly run the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with others, often in a dysfunctional way precisely because we are afraid of getting hurt.

To go back to the example of hypersexuality, a person who was brutally rejected by their peers growing up, might develop an inner wound around sociam rejection and thus spend their entire life chasing approval from others by having sex with a lot of attractive women (which gets him the validation of those women) while at the same time boasting about it or finding indirect ways to convey to other men that he is sleeping with all these women (which gets him the validation of men).

On the flip side, someone may have experienced that same social rejection but built a victimized belief system that, instead of turning him into a casanova as an adult, completely stuns him and blocks him from fully expressing themselves charismatically out of an internal belief that doing so wound result in them experiencing that old childhood pain of rejection, again.

In both cases, healing is necessary in order to live a happy life and be able to relate to others authentically, without performance or manipulation.

Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that social skills ain't a thing like @Valach said. They absolutely are. Sales is a form of social skill, office politics are a form of social skill, and game is a form of social skill as well. In all of the three fields above, being unstifled, free and confident definitely helps, but there are also dynamics and "social games" at play that one needs to be exposed to and gradually becomes proficient in, in order to get the best outcomes.

Edited 5 hours ago by Zenterus

[Inliytened1]

@Valach  bro  you made 

3 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

Brother, if you think that trauma and socialization arent interconnected, you're greatly mistaken. In fact, having a high body count or being hypersexual, as psychologisgs call it, is often corrated to having a degree of trauma. Trauma manifests the most in relationships with others, not in isolation, as trauma is most often caused by your loved ones or people whose love you seeked when you were growing up. 

As children we dont have a mature way of handling that trauma and thus we stunt our bodies natural emotional processing system -- because part of that process is actually experiencing those painful emotions fully, which sucks to do -- and thus we store those traumatic sensations in the body and develop belief systems on top of them that are meant to protect us from experiencing that same pain again.

Fast forward to adulthood and those traumatic emotions and belief systems quietly run the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with others, often in a dysfunctional way precisely because we are afraid of getting hurt.

To go back to the example of hypersexuality, a person who was brutally rejected by their peers growing up, might develop an inner wound around sociam rejection and thus spend their entire life chasing approval from others by having sex with a lot of attractive women (which gets him the validation of those women) while at the same time boasting about it or finding indirect ways to convey to other men that he is sleeping with all these women (which gets him the validation of men).

On the flip side, someone may have experienced that same social rejection but built a victimized belief system that, instead of turning him into a casanova as an adult, completely stuns him and blocks him from fully expressing themselves charismatically out of an internal belief that doing so wound result in them experiencing that old childhood pain of rejection, again.

In both cases, healing is necessary in order to live a happy life and be able to relate to others authentically, without performance or manipulation.

Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that social skills ain't a thing like @Valach said. They absolutely are. Sales is a form of social skill, office politics are a form of social skill, and game is a form of social skill as well. In all of the three fields above, being unstifled, free and confident definitely helps, but there are also dynamics and "social games" at play that one needs to be exposed to and gradually becomes proficient in, in order to get the best outcomes.

Having a high body count is a sign of trauma? Why? You guys have been reading to much PUA.  Its kinda comical actually.   Keep studying it guys. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

Brother, if you think that trauma and socialization arent interconnected, you're greatly mistaken. In fact, having a high body count or being hypersexual, as psychologists call it, is often corrated to having a degree of trauma. Trauma manifests the most in relationships with others, not in isolation, as trauma is most often caused by your loved ones or people whose love you seeked when you were growing up. 

As children we dont have a mature way of handling that trauma and thus we stunt our bodies natural emotional processing system -- because part of that process is actually experiencing those painful emotions fully, which sucks to do -- and thus we store those traumatic sensations in the body and develop belief systems on top of them that are meant to protect us from experiencing that same pain again.

Fast forward to adulthood and those traumatic emotions and belief systems quietly run the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with others, often in a dysfunctional way precisely because we are afraid of getting hurt.

To go back to the example of hypersexuality, a person who was brutally rejected by their peers growing up, might develop an inner wound around sociam rejection and thus spend their entire life chasing approval from others by having sex with a lot of attractive women (which gets him the validation of those women) while at the same time boasting about it or finding indirect ways to convey to other men that he is sleeping with all these women (which gets him the validation of men).

On the flip side, someone may have experienced that same social rejection but built a victimized belief system that, instead of turning him into a casanova as an adult, completely stuns him and blocks him from fully expressing themselves charismatically out of an internal belief that doing so wound result in them experiencing that old childhood pain of rejection, again.

In both cases, healing is necessary in order to live a happy life and be able to relate to others authentically, without performance or manipulation.

Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that social skills ain't a thing like @Valach said. They absolutely are. Sales is a form of social skill, office politics are a form of social skill, and game is a form of social skill as well. In all of the three fields above, being unstifled, free and confident definitely helps, but there are also dynamics and "social games" at play that one needs to be exposed to and gradually becomes proficient in, in order to get the best outcomes.

Always pleasure to read stuff from you

[Inliytened1]

Let me be clear gents.  Trauma has absolutely nothing to do with getting pussy.  It just takes being comfortable in your own skin.  All this bullshit overcomplicates things.  

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Valach  bro  you made 

Having s high body count is a sign of trauma? Why? You guys have been reading to much PUA.  Its kinda comical actually.   Keep studying it guys. 

General trend is there, yes. Intimacy is a basic human needs and you can not be intimate (don't confuse that for sex) in some hookup scenario. Most people who won in life by being born to healthy parents and are able to connect to others safely simply pair up fairly quickly and tend to have healthy relationships that last. And so they are not out there sleeping with new people.

I was hypersexual to a point as well, yes. I met a lot of woman and men in the circles who were the same. Looking back it was very obvious that most of us carried a lot of trauma.

To give another example - one of the biggest signs of trauma is substance abuse. How many people who are highly promiscous that you've met don't drink. Alcohol is super prelevant in hookup culture. For a reason.

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, Valach said:

General trend is there, yes. Intimacy is a basic human needs and you can not be intimate (don't confuse that for sex) in some hookup scenario. Most people who won in life by being born to healthy parents and are able to connect to others safely simply pair up fairly quickly and tend to have healthy relationships that last. And so they are not out there sleeping with new people.

I was hypersexual to a point as well, yes. I met a lot of woman and men in the circles who were the same. Looking back it was very obvious that most of us carried a lot of trauma.

To give another example - one of the biggest signs of trauma is substance abuse. How many people who are highly promiscous that you've met don't drink. Alcohol is super prelevant in hookup culture. For a reason.

What i am saying is you guys are too much into the books.  Get more into her vagina and the trauma Will dissipate 

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

What i am saying is you guys are tol much I to the books.  Get more into her vagina and the trauma Will dissipate 

 

Which is exactly what traumatized person would say. Don't you see that you are using woman to disconnect from the pain of your own trauma?