tomorrow I am gonna challenge myself

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

So then what is the end goal..just to practice game?  If so fine. But if his intent is to take one home on the same night then he shouldn't be so focused on volume.   But yeah. Im old fashioned and from the states. So if I get a girl interested and get a number I usually can tell if it was real. He's not dumb. He can tell.

Many guys can not tell. I never saw him so idk what his sticking points are exactly. But he needs to start having longer interactions. It should be hard for you to reach high volume for approaches simply due to people being interested in talking to you so you keep having long conversations.

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Valach said:

Many guys can not tell. I never saw him so idk what his sticking points are exactly. But he needs to start having longer interactions. It should be hard for you to reach high volume for approaches simply due to people being interested in talking to you so you keep having long conversations.

Exactly.  But we have been telling him this for weeks.  Me, you, @Zenterus.  I think he just likes gameplay.  His end goal might differ from mine.  I want the holy grail.

Edited 7 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Exactly.  But we have been telling him this for weeks.  Me, you, @Zenterus.  I think he just likes gameplay.  His end goal might differ from mine.  I want the holy grail.

The spam approaching is good to do for one weekend - to just make this breakthrough to be able to approach at any given time. After that it makes more sense to focus on actually developing connection.

[Inliytened1]

9 minutes ago, Valach said:

The spam approaching is good to do for one weekend - to just make this breakthrough to be able to approach at any given time. After that it makes more sense to focus on actually developing connection.

If you want me to be transparent. I think we need to move him past this phase.  I think fear might be setting him back. The reason I say this is because when we talked about approach anxiety, and i was just viewing that thread..sorry all for my poor grammar. Its my phone.  He said he's never gotten to the point of intercourse anxiety. Otherwise known as emotional or psychological ED.  I had it for a spell. Maybe a few months.  And it was the worst.  But it goes away.  Now..he has never even gotten to that point.  So I think maybe he needs a little push to get past this initial phase.  But hopefully none of you guys have to experience that.  Its terrible.

Edited 7 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

If you want me to be transparent. I think we need to move him past this phase.  I think fear might be setting him back. The reason I say this is because when we talked about approach anxiety, and i was just viewing that thread..sorry all for my poor grammar. Its my phone.  He said he's never gotten to the point of intercourse anxiety. Otherwise known as emotional or psychological ED.  I had it for a spell. Maybe a few months.  And it was the worst.  But it goes away.  Now..he has never even gotten to that point.  So I think maybe he needs a little push to get past this initial phase.  By hopefully none of you guys have to experience that.  Its terrible.

Right. As I said the reason he is even able to do 100 approaches is that he gets either rejected or (more likely) self rejects himself out of interactions.

I did not start game from the typical "zero experience", I was somewhat of a natural. So I never really went through the phase of mass approaching. But my typical daygame (which I did more) session would last for 2-3 hours where I would talk to about 10 woman max (if that). Simply because I would usually spend long time in interactions, have instadates and all that. So there is something going wrong here.

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, Valach said:

Right. As I said the reason he is even able to do 100 approaches is that he gets either rejected or (more likely) self rejects himself out of interactions.

I did not start game from the typical "zero experience", I was somewhat of a natural. So I never really went through the phase of mass approaching. But my typical daygame (which I did more) session would last for 2-3 hours where I would talk to about 10 woman max (if that). Simply because I would usually spend long time in interactions, have instadates and all that. So there is something going wrong here.

Precisely.   So.  Here's the reality.  Just like awakening.  Sometimes you have the gift and sometimes you don't.  Unfortunately you can't cheat and take psychedelics to get laid.  So he's going to have to work on the quality of his game rather than quantity.  @Olaf understood?  We are tying to help you here.  Don't get so caught up in how many you talk to. That's awesome.  But you want quality interactions.  Because that's what leads to your end game.  Now. What your endgame is.  That could differ.   But you'll sleep with her.  What you want to do after is up to you. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Inliytened1

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Unfortunately you can't cheat and take psychedelics to get laid.

You can, it’s called alcohol. Lol.

[Inliytened1]

6 minutes ago, something_else said:

You can, it’s called alcohol. Lol.

Even with alcohol..what you are gonna say has to be there. Alcohol just gives you the nerve.   Yah?

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Even with alcohol..what you are gonna say has to be there. Alcohol just gives you the nerve.   Yah?

Which is precisely what people need, the confidence to be authetic. You do not really need to learn what to say etc. You know that already, it is just supressed deep down.

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Valach said:

Which is precisely what people need, the confidence to be authetic. You do not really need to learn what to say etc. You know that already, it is just supressed deep down.

I don't agree.  Alcohol is a lubricant. But a lot of guys don't know how to talk to women period

 

Edited 7 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Inliytened1]

@Valach see..this brings us back to what women want.  They want authenticity.  But they are more interested in your communication skills initially.   How honest you are won't come up yet. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Inliytened1

[something_else]

24 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Even with alcohol..what you are gonna say has to be there. Alcohol just gives you the nerve.   Yah?

If you’re really socially stunted even alcohol won’t help. If you just struggle with confidence and a stick up your ass then alcohol will solve that problem real fast.

But obviously it comes with other costs.

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

If you’re really socially stunted even alcohol won’t help. If you just struggle with confidence and a stick up your ass then alcohol will solve that problem real fast.

But obviously it comes with other costs.

Right.  But Its not even confidence its anxiety. Nervousness.  Alcohol takes all that away.   But after a while you find you can do it without the lubricant.  Kinda like getting your dick into a dry pussy 🤪

Edited 6 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Valach]

28 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

I don't agree.  Alcohol is a lubricant. But a lot of guys don't know how to talk to women period

 

Alcohol does not teach you social skills though. They are there, alcohol just unfreezes your nervous system so now you can talk. So the lack for people who can talk to woman drunk is in confidence, not in social skills.

[Inliytened1]

Just now, Valach said:

Alcohol does not teach you social skills though. They are there, alcohol just unfreezes your nervous system so now you can talk. So the lack for people who can talk to woman drunk is in confidence, not in social skills.

Wrong again.   Its not that.  Its social skills.  Yeah there are some who lack confidence but do you think @Olaf does? Absolutely not. He just needs to.know how to say the right things.

[Valach]

That is what was mind boggling for me in the PUA journey, at least in the start.

Everyone was talking to go out and talk to a lot of people to learn social skills so I do not feel social anxiety and I know how to talk to woman etc etc. But then I noticed a pattern. I would meet a woman, I would be nervous, not know what to say and all that. But eventually if she liked me and we would start talking, she would validate me (usually by sleeping with me) and then suddenly that unlocked me and I was able to be myself around her and suddenly I had the social skills and all that. Did I learn any social skills between our first date and say third date when we slept together? Not really.

What was going on (and still is to a degree) is that my mind and body were conditioned to rejection due to traumatic childhood. So whenever I was in social situation, specially in romantic context might body would be bracing for rejection. Then when I would get validated and it would suddenly unfreeze me and I would be myself. Learning social skills was not needed. What was and is needed is to reshape your subconcious mind that it is not in this constant state of threat and locking your mind in.

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Wrong again.   Its not that.  Its social skills.  Yeah there are some who lack confidence but do you think @Olaf does? Absolutely not. He just needs to.know how to say the right things.

I don't really believe in the concept of social skills. But I understand your viewpoint.

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Valach said:

I don't really believe in the concept of social skills. But I understand your viewpoint.

You don't believe in that? It is what makes the world go round.  If you can talk to people you can do almost anything in life. It's not limited to women.

Edited 6 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, Valach said:

That is what was mind boggling for me in the PUA journey, at least in the start.

Everyone was talking to go out and talk to a lot of people to learn social skills so I do not feel social anxiety and I know how to talk to woman etc etc. But then I noticed a pattern. I would meet a woman, I would be nervous, not know what to say and all that. But eventually if she liked me and we would start talking, she would validate me (usually by sleeping with me) and then suddenly that unlocked me and I was able to be myself around her and suddenly I had the social skills and all that. Did I learn any social skills between our first date and say third date when we slept together? Not really.

What was going on (and still is to a degree) is that my mind and body were conditioned to rejection due to traumatic childhood. So whenever I was in social situation, specially in romantic context might body would be bracing for rejection. Then when I would get validated and it would suddenly unfreeze me and I would be myself. Learning social skills was not needed. What was and is needed is to reshape your subconcious mind that it is not in this constant state of threat and locking your mind in.

Yeah but we can't always have it like that. But you're right.  There are certain women from my past I was just comfortable with getting it up for. Others made me nervous.  But also those same others I wasnt always nervous.  Its all about you.

[Valach]

6 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

You don't believe in that? It is what makes the world go round.  If you can talk to people you can do almost anything in lif it's not limited to women.

I do not believe that social skills are learned. That is what I meant.

Social skills are given to any human being that went through life without major trauma and has a felt sense of somatic safety in their own body. Even things like empathy are given, always. The guys who are stunted and can't read woman (or any other people for that matter) are so because they experienced some trauma early on in their life and their coping mechanism was to shut down so they do not feel the pain. But at the cost of being unable to feel and read emotions of others.

In pua terms -> You craving woman for the most part is a trauma response -> you feel like you are not good enough for them (read you dont think you have social skills) which is a trauma response -> you then go around bascially learning manipulation technique to soothe this inner wound with validation which is a trauma wound -> you succed, you are still traumatized person living in traumatized body but you have learnt to disassociate from the pain of your nervous system being wrecked by trauma by getting validation from people who are probably traumatized as well.

Edited 6 hours ago by Valach