Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[gengar]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

Is this what you tell yourself in the mirror every morning?

[Xonas Pitfall]

12 minutes ago, gengar said:

so why is accepting reality spiritual, while denying it isn't? what condition decides what is spiritual or not?

You could even make a case that Buddhists for example accept reality the least. they do everything to rid the reality of the imposed delusions of the ego and its suffering. they deny desire.

“Denying” usually implies separating something from something else, or refusing to look into the truth of something.

God, by contrast, could be defined as ultimate acceptance: the acceptance of all biases and non-biases, the acceptance of truth and falsehood, and the acceptance of all polarities that exist. But this is an acceptance that accounts for both sides. It is non-dual. There is nothing to separate from God in an absolute sense.

When you’re speaking from a limited, relative point of view, you’re usually implying a human who doesn’t want to accept or integrate something and instead wants to filter reality, seeing it as only one thing.

God would be integrative, unifying, and all-accepting; God integrates both sides rather than rejecting one side.

The ego needs to filter reality and accept specific conditions and truths to survive.

Spirituality is often defined as moving from the ego toward something more like God.

You can be someone who denies the truth of your desire, or you can be someone who denies the illusion behind why you have that desire in the first place. It is very contextual, and it depends on the person, because you are dealing with the relativity of finite humans, finite egos, and finite selves.

When you speak of God, spirituality, absolute truth, and so on, you are talking about something integrative.

Acceptance does not necessarily mean accepting every belief, desire, or perception as true. It means accepting the truth of what is actually happening, including the possibility that your own perception, desire, or denial may itself be part of the illusion that needs to be understood and integrated.

---

To make it less abstract:

Someone who has a desire but denies the realities required to fulfill that desire is not “integrating,” “accepting,” or “fully owning” everything about that desire. The action is coming from the ego, where you are filtering the desire for your own benefit while turning a blind eye to the reality of what it would actually take to fulfill it because that reality is too painful to confront.

A more spiritual approach would be to fully accept what your desire is, understand why you have it, determine whether you genuinely want to let it go or pursue it, and, if you choose to pursue it, take full responsibility for integrating everything that comes with it.

Using Buddhism as an example, it depends heavily on the individual. You can have a Buddhist who genuinely integrates and lets go of desires because they recognize the desire as ultimately untruthful or unsatisfactory, so they no longer feel compelled by it. Or you can have a Buddhist who uses Buddhism to remain in denial of their own lack because they are unable to achieve what they desire, making Buddhism more of a coping mechanism or an escape. Denial of pain.

Both can be true. It depends on the individual and what is actually happening internally. In one case, the person is seeing the truth, integrating it, and genuinely letting go. In the other, they are using a spiritual framework to avoid confronting something painful.

Edited 4 hours ago by Xonas Pitfall

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

I am VERY confident in my talents/skills. Some may even say that I'm arrogant or narcissistic to acknowledge my strengths so plainly. But I disagree. It's just a fact that I'm really great at the things I am great at.

In fact, in-so-far as a human can know anything, I know I'm among the best in the world at my specific zone of genius. And I trust my own capacity for accurate perception very deeply.

Yet still... the consciousness of the chimp and my consciousness are one and the same. The same is true for the average human who has little talent for and no interest in consciousness work.

The only difference between the chimp, myself, and the non-intellectual/non-spiritual person is what game God wanted to play in this iteration. And this time, it chose these specific stats for my avatar, which give me a very particular "game play".

But it also chooses the chimp avatar. The "Chimp game" isn't better or worse than the "Emerald game" in any absolute sense.

So, to conceptualize of myself in a consciousness hierarchy with chimps or other people would be frankly foolish, if my goal is to avoid contractions of consciousness. 

Identifying with hierarchical projections and differentiating projections in general, just creates disconnection from humans, nature, and the universe at large... and creates an attachment to having a special identity/ego concept.

So, while it may be a fact that I'm great at what I do... it doesn't make me substantially different than or better than other humans.

All ordinary humans specialize. And this is just my specialization. 

And my specialization is just me being an ordinary human that serves other ordinary humans... no different than a brick-layer or basketball player.

Edited 4 hours ago by Emerald

[questionreality]

8 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I am VERY confident in my talents/skills. Some may even say that I'm arrogant or narcissistic to acknowledge my strengths so plainly. But I disagree. It's just a fact that I'm really great at the things I am great at.

In fact, in-so-far as a human can know anything, I know I'm among the best in the world at my specific zone of genius. And I trust my own capacity for accurate perception very deeply.

Yet still... the consciousness of the chimp and my consciousness are one and the same. The same is true for the average human who has little talent for and no interest in consciousness work.

The only difference between the chimp, myself, and the non-intellectual/non-spiritual person is what game God wanted to play in this iteration. And this time, it chose these specific stats for my avatar, which give me a very particular "game play".

But it also chooses the chimp avatar. The "Chimp game" isn't better or worse than the "Emerald game" in any absolute sense.

So, to conceptualize of myself in a consciousness hierarchy with chimps or other people would be frankly foolish, if my goal is to avoid contractions of consciousness. 

Identifying with hierarchical projections and differentiating projections in general, just creates disconnection from humans, nature, and the universe at large.

So, while it may be a fact that I'm great at what I do... it doesn't make me substantially different than or better than other humans.

All ordinary humans specialize. And this is just my specialization. 

And my specialization is just me being an ordinary human that serves other ordinary humans... no different than a brick-layer or basketball player.

You couldn't have put it any better, one of the best posts in this thread imo. Good luck though trying to get this a person who believes he is the most conscious person in the world to understand this.

[Alexop]

On 10/5/2026 at 2:01 AM, questionreality said:

Multiple people already in this thread have clearly pointed out you having a spiritual ego. This is another clear example of it. Until you stop dividing people into "higher" and "lower" consciousness categeries etc, nothing good will come out of it. Putting Leo on a pedestal (who is in his 40s single and without kids) and thinking that you are above others are just few symptoms over the bigger issue at play here. Dropping "spirituality" or trying to be "spiritual" is probably the best that you can do, for yourself and for your dating life at this point. Yes you can be spiritual without being "spiritual" , at some time that role will have to be dropped.

lol

This is exactly why he is single and with no kids. He is above all that survival nonsense and decided to focus on other stuff that maybe humanity needs more right now. We have billions of unconscious chimps who get together and reproduce. Maybe we need less quantity and more quality.

Leo also has health problems keep that in mind.

If there are two things that make me sick right now they are: the dating environment right now and the post-modern delulus who cannot relativize things. Relative to being aware of your behavior, there is higher and lower consciousness. Ken Wilber is much more aware of his behaviors and thoughts than Donald Trump. I cannot imagine living a life with this post-modern crap in my head. How do you people grasp the world? 

Edited 3 hours ago by Alexop

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

So, to conceptualize of myself in a consciousness hierarchy with chimps or other people would be frankly foolish, if my goal is to avoid contractions of consciousness. 

You are far more conscious than a chimp.

The fact that you do not understand that, is disturbing.

Your model of consciousness is missing something huge.

[Emerald]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You are far more conscious than a chimp.

The fact that you do not understand that, is disturbing.

Your model of consciousness is missing something huge.

I don't think you understand what I'm saying. But that's okay.

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I don't think you understand what I'm saying. But that's okay.

I am not saying you must pursue higher consciousness. If you want to be a more normie person, that is of course your choice.

My issue with your stance is that it denies that consciousness comes in many degrees. This is just a matter of fact, of how consciousness works.

It is like I am saying stars glow at different brightness levels, and you are saying, no, they are all just light.

If you don't want to glow any brighter, okay. But you can't deny some stars are brighter than others. And that is not egotism or arrogance.

Edited 2 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Alexop]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It is like I am saying stars glow at different brightness levels, and you are saying, no, they are all just light.

If you don't want to glow any brighter, okay. But you can't deny some stars are brighter than others. And that is not egotism or arrogance.

Great analogy 

[Jirh]

Having higher consciousness is a reason to be even more humble, not arrogant.

Doesn't mean you should lose your boundaries. Arrogance does not improve boundaries. It just creates fake artificial ones.

[Emerald]

23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I am not saying you must pursue higher consciousness. If you want to be a more normie person, that is of course your choice.

My issue with your stance is that it denies that consciousness comes in many degrees. This is just a matter of fact, of how consciousness works.

It is like I am saying stars glow at different brightness levels, and you are saying, no, they are all just light.

If you don't want to glow any brighter, okay. But you can't deny some stars are brighter than others. And that is not egotism or arrogance.

That's not what I'm claiming. Differentiation in quality and ability exists.

There are better and worse basketball players.

There are better and worse brick layers.

And there are better and worse of the kind of thing that I am in terms of how I express my talents for expanded awareness, accurate perception, intellect, and teaching/guidance.

What I'm saying is that that's simply my specialization.... and there's nothing special about having a specialization. It's 100% chimp stuff!

Having a specialization is an ordinary human quality.

And some ordinary humans happen to have the gifts that enable them to specialize in bridging the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind and between the spiritual and material world in service to other ordinary humans.

But there is a reason why there are so few people specializing in this: We just don't need as many of what we specialize in compared to mechanics, brick-layers, plumbers, or even basketball players. 

So, I recognize that I'm excellent at my specialization and there's a practical hierarchy there (as many would not be able to do this)... BUT my specialization isn't superior to the specializations of other human beings.

In fact, it isn't even superior to the chimp and the roles the chimp plays in its own social context.

Ultimately, specializations exist in service to other humans, animals, and the planet at large. And a specialization is only valuable in-so-far it is providing a service to yourself or others... as specializations are communally oriented.

So, while I recognize that I'm better at consciousness than the chimp... and most individuals... it doesn't mean that my specialization and place in the world is more important than theirs.

That's why I don't dwell too much on identifying with divergences and hierarchical identities.

Instead, I view myself as a craftsman. And I want to be excellent at my craft... no better or worse than a carpenter who seeks excellence in their craft.

Edited 2 hours ago by Emerald

[Leo Gura]

I was never talking about superiority.

I was talking about degree of consciousness.

A tall person is not superior, but he is taller.

And spirituality requires becoming taller.

Edited 1 hour ago by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I was never talking about superiority.

I was talking about degree of consciousness.

A tall person is not superior, but he is taller.

And spirituality requires becoming taller.

As long as you're just focusing on hierarchy in the most practical way, that's fine.

There are specialists that are better and worse at their respective crafts. And I certainly value excellence in my craft. 

However, my impression is that you tend to be quite attached to identities of being "the more conscious one"... or even just "the different one... who's different than the chimp-humans."

And I notice that you can tend to project hierarchy in a more existential sense... rather than just in a practical sense. And that tendency may run in opposition to your goals.

Edited 1 hour ago by Emerald

[Jirh]

I still don't see the link between excellence and arrogance.

[Emerald]

Just now, Jirh said:

I still don't see the link between excellence and arrogance.

There isn't inherently one. It's just that people often mistake arrogance for confidence. 

In fact, most arrogant people that I've met were lacking in the quality they were arrogant about. 

For example, back when I was 18, my best friend was dating this guy who was really arrogant about his level of intelligence. But he was average in intelligence.

And my friend always tended to believe that she's stupid because she has dyslexia and can't spell at all.

So, for the brief time they were together, he was always arrogantly bragging about how intelligent he was compared to her... and putting her down and asking her to spell things (and smugly correcting her on her spelling).

He even said once when my friend asked him a question about something... "Oh. I guess she has to ask the smart one." And he was so smug about it.

But it's clear to me that he might have been feeling quite anxious about his own level of intelligence.

[Raze]

On 10/4/2026 at 10:36 PM, aurum said:

What is this word cloud of?

Social media posts?

It was Facebook posts with words by difference in use by gender or something 

[Alexop]

39 minutes ago, Emerald said:

As long as you're just focusing on hierarchy in the most practical way, that's fine.

There are specialists that are better and worse at their respective crafts. And I certainly value excellence in my craft. 

However, my impression is that you tend to be quite attached to identities of being "the more conscious one"... or even just "the different one... who's different than the chimp-humans."

And I notice that you can tend to project hierarchy in a more existential sense... rather than just in a practical sense. And that tendency may run in opposition to your goals.

Oh come on Emerald...

Yes, Leo is more conscious than the average folk. If you can't see this, that is sad. That is not to say all he says is perfect. But after listening to thousands of people, how they talk and how they formulate their ideas, how they do thier research, I can say without a doubt, Leo is among the best. 

Humbleness can also be toxic if taken to extremes. I am more conscious than average folk and that is okay. I don't care, that is the truth, i run circles around them. That is because certain circumstances determined me to become like this. There is no free will

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Alexop

[Leo Gura]

55 minutes ago, Emerald said:

There are specialists that are better and worse at their respective crafts.

A chimpazee is certainly better at certain things.

I do not hold myself as superior to a chimpanzee. But I am more conscious.

Quote

However, my impression is that you tend to be quite attached to identities of being "the more conscious one"

Consider why that might be.

Maybe one needs such an ambition to grow brighter.

Ambition isn't just ego, it's functional for reaching high places.

Edited 52 minutes ago by Leo Gura

[Joseph Maynor]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being too humble. Untruthfully humble.

Some more arrogance would straighten you out.

Then we have the arrogantly humble people.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

In fact, most arrogant people that I've met were lacking in the quality they were arrogant about. 

There is truth in this.  People tell you what they want, not what they have a lot of the time.  If you had it, you wouldn't need it.