Shit tests and compliance

[Jirh]

Responsibility is important, yes. In relationships, and everywhere else.

[Joseph Maynor]

5 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Responsibility is important, yes. In relationships, and everywhere else.

But when you are in a relationship responsibility does not work the same way as when you apply it to yourself.  It is more complex and involves trust, which varies.

[Jirh]

@Joseph Maynor

Yes, that's why trust is earned over time, not given freely to anyone.

When you're first meeting someone, you're still deciding if they deserve to be trusted, and to what degree.

[PsychedelicEagle]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

But I’m curious about who actually came up with the term “shit test,” and why is it called that? Where did the term even come from?

Good question. I'd guess it probably arose in the Mystery method and whatnot era. It's a shitty name indeed, haha.

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

And when people talk about women “shit testing” men, do they actually do it intentionally, or is it sometimes just something they do without really thinking about it?

They can do it both consciously and unconsciously. In my definition both qualify because what matters is the purpose behind the shit test (feminine trying to unground the masculine — basically seeking reassurance that the masculine figure in question can indeed ground itself).

The less grounded a masculine figure appears to the woman, the more she will test it. And it doesn't matter for how long you've known someone. For the feminine what matters is that the masculine shows up grounded in the now.

These tests are not only verbal statements as it's usually portraid in pickup, they can come in many different forms.

Edited September 21 by PsychedelicEagle

[Joseph Maynor]

11 minutes ago, Jirh said:

@Joseph Maynor

Yes, that's why trust is earned over time, not given freely to anyone.

When you're first meeting someone, you're still deciding if they deserve to be trusted, and to what degree.

This also applies if you know someone a long time too.  

[Joseph Maynor]

On 9/20/2026 at 1:13 AM, Miguel1 said:

Best way to pass shit tests is to just find it funny

It is not really funny though.  It is a power move.  

[felixk_priv]

@AION can you describe a time when you have been shit tested by a guy 

[Rafael Thundercat]

If you have boundaries it will help a lot. They unconsciously test to see of this guy have boundaries. 

 

Shit tests is God giving you a test to you to see if you really have sovereignty of mind or you will be bullshitted by any figment of your own mind.

One need to remember that most people around you don't  do deep inner work. Unless you live in a community who you know people are doing deep inner work. But aia used to live among people doing deep work, and even with them I needed to be aware of the dynamics. Some boundarie cross are very subtle. 

Edited Tuesday at 09:57 PM by Rafael Thundercat

[AION]

13 hours ago, felixk_priv said:

@AION can you describe a time when you have been shit tested by a guy 

When you give the guy a hand and he starts squeezing your hand to see how you will respond.

[Jirh]

I just realized that some people test you because they themselves are fragile and deeply insecure. And so they strike preemptively so that you don't test them later. They use it as a self-defense strategy, where the best defense is offense. They somehow learned to go after your insecurities before you can go after theirs. It's safer and easier this way.

They assume if they strike first, you will either:

1. Pass and prove secure, therefore you won't be interested in testing them and exposing their insecurities.
2. Fail and submit and never try to test them because now they hold the upper hand.

It is a genius ego strategy. Unconscious, yet quite cunning.

[Schizophonia]

On 23/09/2026 at 11:42 AM, AION said:

When you give the guy a hand and he starts squeezing your hand to see how you will respond.

I assume it's not personal most of the time it's just a dumb way to feel manly I used to do it in high school, like letting your peach fuzz grow out.