Polygamy- does it work

[Emerald]

18 minutes ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

I do feel lonely because my pov is very unique and no one can relate with me. 

So, two things can be true here.

One is that your perspective may be genuinely different and un-relatable to many people. That's what I experienced growing up as a kid, and it was really hard for me to fit in before I developed some advanced level social skills that simply weren't attainable for me as a child. 

And chronically not fitting in can create this "I'm different in a bad way" shame dynamic early on. 

The other perspective is that, when people have these issues with fitting in early on.... they can begin coping with that issue by building the identity of the person who's "different in a good way" and trying to differentiate themselves more and more and more from ordinariness and averageness.

And they can do that by being different in a hierarchical way (being better)... or being different simply in a different way.

And I did both... and you seem to do both.

And for me, this differentiation coping strategy helped in certain ways because I was able to develop an identity and MO for myself that was unique from others where I could challenge societal rules that I didn't agree with, find my particular values, and develop myself in ways that few others do.

But this differentiation tendency had A LOT of collateral damage that I wasn't aware of until about 5 years ago... when I realized what my aversion to ordinariness and sameness was doing to me.

The collateral damage was that it pushes away all parts of me that are common, ordinary, and average and repressed them in order to maintain the "Different from all others" identity that I used to cope with isolation and alienation.

But this strategy also exacerbates the same kind of isolation and alienation from the original trauma... as the differentiation tendency causes a person to strive to become as superiorly alien as possible.

And it carves us out as islands.

And when I was a kid, this came through as me imagining myself as non-human mythical beings... and having all my classmates realize that I was actually an alien, vampire, or mermaid.

And later on, it came as spiritual identities and intellectual identities to prove myself better and different than others. 

And this created a disconnect between myself and my humanity... with strong judgments towards the average human being.

So, once I realized this, it's been very important for me to shed any identities or MOs that are geared towards differentiating myself from the rest of humanity. 

And this is why it's important for me to anchor myself in the "I am an average human being" perspective... and to cease attempting to transcend my basic bitch humanity to become some Ubermensch.

This wisdom is in knowing that being a basic bitch is the best medicine for "different in a good way" people.

And I suspect that your reaction to my acknowledgement of my ordinary human needs was part of that resistance to commonality and ordinariness... and maintaining the identity of "the different one."

So, I would challenge you to question why you're trying to transcend your needs in the first place.

Is it because you're trying to carve out an identity of being "different from the masses"?

Or is it for some other reason?

[AerisVahnEphelia]

32 minutes ago, Emerald said:

So, two things can be true here.

One is that your perspective may be genuinely different and un-relatable to many people. That's what I experienced growing up as a kid, and it was really hard for me to fit in before I developed some advanced level social skills that simply weren't attainable for me as a child. 

And chronically not fitting in can create this "I'm different in a bad way" shame dynamic early on. 

The other perspective is that, when people have these issues with fitting in early on.... they can begin coping with that issue by building the identity of the person who's "different in a good way" and trying to differentiate themselves more and more and more from ordinariness and averageness.

And they can do that by being different in a hierarchical way (being better)... or being different simply in a different way.

And I did both... and you seem to do both.

And for me, this differentiation coping strategy helped in certain ways because I was able to develop an identity and MO for myself that was unique from others where I could challenge societal rules that I didn't agree with, find my particular values, and develop myself in ways that few others do.

But this differentiation tendency had A LOT of collateral damage that I wasn't aware of until about 5 years ago... when I realized what my aversion to ordinariness and sameness was doing to me.

The collateral damage was that it pushes away all parts of me that are common, ordinary, and average and repressed them in order to maintain the "Different from all others" identity that I used to cope with isolation and alienation.

But this strategy also exacerbates the same kind of isolation and alienation from the original trauma... as the differentiation tendency causes a person to strive to become as superiorly alien as possible.

And it carves us out as islands.

And when I was a kid, this came through as me imagining myself as non-human mythical beings... and having all my classmates realize that I was actually an alien, vampire, or mermaid.

And later on, it came as spiritual identities and intellectual identities to prove myself better and different than others. 

And this created a disconnect between myself and my humanity... with strong judgments towards the average human being.

So, once I realized this, it's been very important for me to shed any identities or MOs that are geared towards differentiating myself from the rest of humanity. 

And this is why it's important for me to anchor myself in the "I am an average human being" perspective... and to cease attempting to transcend my basic bitch humanity to become some Ubermensch.

This wisdom is in knowing that being a basic bitch is the best medicine for "different in a good way" people.

And I suspect that your reaction to my acknowledgement of my ordinary human needs was part of that resistance to commonality and ordinariness... and maintaining the identity of "the different one."

So, I would challenge you to question why you're trying to transcend your needs in the first place.

Is it because you're trying to carve out an identity of being "different from the masses"?

Or is it for some other reason?

Lol, you’re funny though. Is your main need just being able to ramble about anything? I’m saying this respectfully, but it’s genuinely funny to read your posts because they’re so intricate.

No, I mean, I do have needs, but I was suicidal for a while. I expected the world to have more to offer, and the cause was basically the same feeling as finishing a video game and being stuck in the endgame with no more content left to really explore. My desire for death led me toward truth ( but it's the reverse as people suffering from feeling stuck, I had nothing to be stuck about ), but it wasn’t what I expected. It does fit your explanation of the character becoming self-aware in some way, though.

I feel like I’m hope-maxxing now, with the added possibility of AI happening, eventually leading to UBI and some kind of large-scale human liberation, where we can all just chill, live happily in communities, and do some Final Fantasy Zanarkand-type living. 

Honestly, the feeling of a “meaning crisis” is still there, but not in the same oppressive way. I’m kind of playing around with it now. I’ve become a very optimistic doom-pilled person. I’m not fatalistic. I still like striving to be the cleverest person in the room, and in some sense I feel like I’ve won.

I can joke about genocide, death, Hitler, or whatever else because I’m extremely detached. I can do that with basically anything, even argue against everything I supposedly stand for, whether that’s my culture, my race, or whatever other bullshit story.

I do fancy myself as a good person, but I’m detached from human affairs to the point where, honestly, I don’t really care about the state of the world or whether my words ultimately affect people positively or negatively.

There’s much more I could say. Sometimes I feel like I’m the most “intelligent” person on Earth, and I don’t even mean that as a good thing.

I don’t mean intelligence in the sense of some fancy ability to understand advanced mathematics. I mean that, if intelligence can involve being able to detach yourself from everything, from language, perspective, identity, and even life itself, then that’s something I feel I can do better than almost anyone.

Even the hippie or the Buddhist is usually still attached to something. Even the guy who dies through extreme meditation can still be attached to escaping worldly experience or transcending desire.

I’m detached in a different sense. I simply let desires and needs happen within this point of view without treating them as fundamentally important.

And even on the ordinary human plane, those desires are relatively weak.

Sometimes I still get a sudden peak of delusion around achieving some goal, or the reverse: a sudden conviction that everything is meaningless.

I removed my post because it felt too personal. I don’t really like oversharing my identity online unless it’s within my private spaces.

Yeah, you’re right about a lot of what you pointed out.

Still, I don’t really judge normies for being normies. My judgment is mostly just fancy gaming.

I’m special, and you’re special too. Just look at your post. You’re posting on this wretched edge of the internet. You really think you’re a normal person now? Girl, you’re an absolute weirdo, sorry. No amount of self-proclamation that you’re normal is going to save you either way. You can go back to being an alien, because you are one!

I mean, alright, nowadays everyone is kind of crazy, so the bar has shifted dramatically in terms of what normieness even entails. We might all just be mildly convinced schizophrenics who occasionally need a puff of some nice self-narrative to keep the whole thing coherent.

And in the end, what even is “normal” or “weird”? It’s just another layer of fanciness.

But yeah, of course, if being "a normie" feels nice, just be one. Whatever makes you happy.

I’m still convinced that almost everyone on this forum is some kind of nutcase, basically a functional asylum with creature who somehow learned to operate in society.

Edited 3 hours ago by AerisVahnEphelia

[Davino]

It's possible in theory but to actualize that it will take amounts of development, emotional work and investment that are almost unheard of.

To just be well with yourself, balanced and happy is a full time job. Now add a relationship with a women, it takes a lot to have a conscious fulfilling marriage, which is why most fail. Each person you add to the relationship is an incremental exponential layer of complexity. This would be like a full time job, with no guarantee.

Let's flip it around, would you be in a relationship with 5 guys and 1 women? Do you see the amount of work it would take to handle 5 dicks and egos?

I'm sure some freaks have done it, but it's like running an Ironman, it has be almost your life purpose and you can't force it either, you cannot force love or chemistry or real bonds, you cannot force life paths either, it may work while the alignment is there but life is constant flux.

[something_else]

If you genuinely want to be in a mixed gender polycule of some kind I think it can work with the right people, usually people with low competitiveness and jealousy. I think open relationships can also work with the right couple and clear boundaries.

But there’s an inherent problem where the more people you add to a romantic relationship the more chaotic and dramatic it gets. It can be fun, but I don’t know if it’s very sustainable in the long run.

You also have guys who want to be polyamorous largely so they can build a harem. People in the poly community actively warn each other about this type of guy because they aren’t really in it for the right reasons. It’s all about ego and status, it doesn’t match the core values of the poly community.

[Mellowmarsh]

1 hour ago, Davino said:

It's possible in theory but to actualize that it will take amounts of development, emotional work and investment that are almost unheard of.

To just be well with yourself, balanced and happy is a full time job. Now add a relationship with a women, it takes a lot to have a conscious fulfilling marriage, which is why most fail. Each person you add to the relationship is an incremental exponential layer of complexity. This would be like a full time job, with no guarantee.

Let's flip it around, would you be in a relationship with 5 guys and 1 women? Do you see the amount of work it would take to handle 5 dicks and egos?

I'm sure some freaks have done it, but it's like running an Ironman, it has be almost your life purpose and you can't force it either, you cannot force love or chemistry or real bonds, you cannot force life paths either, it may work while the alignment is there but life is constant flux.

I agree with that analogy absolutely 💯 percent. Well said. Hearing this, put that way, is like music to my ears. 

[Mellowmarsh]

2 hours ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

Lol, you’re funny though. Is your main need just being able to ramble about anything? I’m saying this respectfully, but it’s genuinely funny to read your posts because they’re so intricate.

No, I mean, I do have needs, but I was suicidal for a while. I expected the world to have more to offer, and the cause was basically the same feeling as finishing a video game and being stuck in the endgame with no more content left to really explore. My desire for death led me toward truth ( but it's the reverse as people suffering from feeling stuck, I had nothing to be stuck about ), but it wasn’t what I expected. It does fit your explanation of the character becoming self-aware in some way, though.

I feel like I’m hope-maxxing now, with the added possibility of AI happening, eventually leading to UBI and some kind of large-scale human liberation, where we can all just chill, live happily in communities, and do some Final Fantasy Zanarkand-type living. 

Honestly, the feeling of a “meaning crisis” is still there, but not in the same oppressive way. I’m kind of playing around with it now. I’ve become a very optimistic doom-pilled person. I’m not fatalistic. I still like striving to be the cleverest person in the room, and in some sense I feel like I’ve won.

I can joke about genocide, death, Hitler, or whatever else because I’m extremely detached. I can do that with basically anything, even argue against everything I supposedly stand for, whether that’s my culture, my race, or whatever other bullshit story.

I do fancy myself as a good person, but I’m detached from human affairs to the point where, honestly, I don’t really care about the state of the world or whether my words ultimately affect people positively or negatively.

There’s much more I could say. Sometimes I feel like I’m the most “intelligent” person on Earth, and I don’t even mean that as a good thing.

I don’t mean intelligence in the sense of some fancy ability to understand advanced mathematics. I mean that, if intelligence can involve being able to detach yourself from everything, from language, perspective, identity, and even life itself, then that’s something I feel I can do better than almost anyone.

Even the hippie or the Buddhist is usually still attached to something. Even the guy who dies through extreme meditation can still be attached to escaping worldly experience or transcending desire.

I’m detached in a different sense. I simply let desires and needs happen within this point of view without treating them as fundamentally important.

And even on the ordinary human plane, those desires are relatively weak.

Sometimes I still get a sudden peak of delusion around achieving some goal, or the reverse: a sudden conviction that everything is meaningless.

I removed my post because it felt too personal. I don’t really like oversharing my identity online unless it’s within my private spaces.

Yeah, you’re right about a lot of what you pointed out.

Still, I don’t really judge normies for being normies. My judgment is mostly just fancy gaming.

I’m special, and you’re special too. Just look at your post. You’re posting on this wretched edge of the internet. You really think you’re a normal person now? Girl, you’re an absolute weirdo, sorry. No amount of self-proclamation that you’re normal is going to save you either way. You can go back to being an alien, because you are one!

I mean, alright, nowadays everyone is kind of crazy, so the bar has shifted dramatically in terms of what normieness even entails. We might all just be mildly convinced schizophrenics who occasionally need a puff of some nice self-narrative to keep the whole thing coherent.

And in the end, what even is “normal” or “weird”? It’s just another layer of fanciness.

But yeah, of course, if being "a normie" feels nice, just be one. Whatever makes you happy.

I’m still convinced that almost everyone on this forum is some kind of nutcase, basically a functional asylum with creature who somehow learned to operate in society.

I resonate with this post 💯 I mean, it’s as if I wrote it myself. This post is a prime exemplary example of what true transcendence is, which of course is not for the faint of heart. 

[AION]

Polygamy works for men. It doesn't work for women. But most women would rather choose a high quality men and just be a side chick rather than be a monogamous girl for low a quality man. I think a lot of women already into polygamy but they just don't label it like that. Especially on those dating apps. Low quality men which is a substantial part of society can't get into polygamy even if they wanted. Polygamy is only for high quality men.

Edited 20 minutes ago by AION