chasing

[Olaf]

woman want to chase. As much as you can show interest and show your desire, ultimately what she wants is not to have someone that is interested in her, she wants someone that she is interested in, which is the person that she can't get. For example, experiment with giving a girl a compliment and walking away, you will see how girls will fucking love you for it. Like that is exactly what they want. The guy that they can't get, that walks away, that is about to leave, not only woman, men do this too even lol.

I even heard the rapper Blueface say something one time, he said, with girls you can never let them have you, as soon as you fall in love that is where it goes wrong. Now that is kinda extreme but from a pua perspective that makes sense, because the easiest way to turn a woman off is displaying too much interest. It is never hot and hotter hahaha it is hot and cold, disqualifying yourself, asking qualifying questions, qualifying her, all of this is just the same thing, it is basically never showing that you are fully interested, never showing your interest fully and making her sell herself and you being the "buyer".

You can say that is fucked up, I just want to be myself, I don't want them to chase me, but if you don't do this there are only 2 scenario's. Number 1 you will be seen as a platonic or gay friend. Number 2 you will be seen as "soooo sweet, sooo niceee!!" as they would say, but in reality they see you as a low-value beta male (aka you are more interested in her than she is in you). And will only keep you around for validation, entertainment, or money (aka use you instead of being attracted).

So if that is what you want, you can go and forget about making her chase you, but ultimately there is no escaping the mechanisms of nature, if you like it or not, there is no escaping the reality, even when you look back at an organic relationship, you will always realise that it was you being in abundance. For example my first relationship back in high school I saw that girl first as a friend and I was flirting with another girl who also was intrested in me. That is exactly the same PUA mechanism, but then organically, with social proof and me not being super interested in her. 

[Ulax]

Agreed.

[PsychedelicEagle]

20 hours ago, Olaf said:

compliment and walking away

+1

 

[Olaf]

@PsychedelicEagle is this some code language? hehe

[something_else]

For initial attraction and having lots of casual sex this works quite well. For a healthy long term relationship less so.

You don’t want your girlfriend or wife walking on eggshells worrying you’re going to leave her, especially if she is the kind of women who is not short of options. Because at some point she’ll encounter someone better who gives her the affection she craves. She should (and deserves to) feel loved.

[Olaf]

@something_else If you find a woman with self-respect, sure, which is RARE and also who says she can't lose her self-respect again? It is a moment-to-moment thing: one moment of weakness and she is back with the douche.

The problem is that I know too many women with too little self-respect, like friends, girl friends from high school who rather go for a guy who lives in Africa who ghosts her for 3 months, flat broke, no future whatsoever, doesn't show up on her birthday or for christmas when he promised to. Then a guy that is showing interest and ready to settle down in the Netherlands (my country). Is it healthy? Is it good? that is a whole other question to what they respond to. She wasn't even allowed to go to his home or meet his family. Like red flag after red flag. She is now willing to move to Africa for him.

Then you get comfortable, you love her, she is gone, GONE, your too easy. Another girl from high school that the guy she moved countries for was a guy that always criticised her, told her how she was wrong, didn't want to move countries or change any bit, no compromise, complete asshole and gave her a book when they broke up that she should read so she would understand what is wrong with her. Complete douche, she moves countries to be with him and changes her career for him. Btw, she is at least an 8 to you guys standards, into yoga, meditation and pretty.

Are there women with exceptions? Surely, count yourself lucky if you find one. In the meantime, this is the reality. I know from my own relationships the moments I started loving the girl more and more and showing more and more interest, they either cheated or broke up and stopped respecting me. 

Do you think narcissists have no girls? They have a ton, they have every girl in town. That is why every girl reports that they were dating a narcissist, do you ever hear a girl saying, "he was showing soooo much love to me that is why I married him". No, they'd rather move COUNTRIES to find someone who isn't interested in them. 

[LordFall]

Yes, that's why I'm such a fan of including social media and fame game in your arsenal. Randomly cold approaching down the street makes your overall appeal to the women you approach pretty limited. 

If you use your cold approach to feed your social circle and film those events then in about a year you can become noticeably recognized in your city and within a couple of years your whole country and overall in the world. 

Edited 16 hours ago by LordFall

[Olaf]

@LordFall I know you love that game by now hahaha you talk about it 24/7 hahaha

[LordFall]

20 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@LordFall I know you love that game by now hahaha you talk about it 24/7 hahaha

100%, it changed my life in ways I have a hard time conveying so I like talking about it for sure. It's not an area of game that's usually highlighted but it is by far the most powerful IMO. 

[Sugarcoat]

23 hours ago, Olaf said:

For example, experiment with giving a girl a compliment and walking away, you will see how girls will fucking love you for it. Like that is exactly what they want. The guy that they can't get, that walks away, that is about to leave, not only woman, men do this too even lol.

How do you know they liked that, they showed signs, walked back to you or?

I thought maybe it shows that some women have capacity to just enjoy a flirtatious interaction on the spot without necessarily needing something further, meanwhile many guys struggle with that. 

[Olaf]

@Sugarcoat literally a girl with an almost-yelling voice said `I love you!!` behind my back as I walked away after the compliment, aswell as all these girls genuinely being so grateful and expressing their gratitude and be happy when you compliment + walk away. When you compliment and you stay or at least your intention/vibe is to stay, boom, it is completely different. Like now you are giving a compliment to get something, to get some sex or whatever, atleast that is how they see it. That is also why if you are very nice, you are being seen as someone below her, like you are trying to please and simp to get into her bed, instead of her trying to sleep with you (invest into you).

And guys who are new to the game have such toxic habits with this. I said to a guy, go approach a woman NOW doesn't matter how, it was his first day approaching: a few mins later he is walking 2 blocks to carry a woman's suitcase. I haven't laughed that hard in a while, he was busy for 10 mins with two big suitcases, hahahahahahahahahaha. See, they either respect you or they use you. Not only girls, GUYS guys use you too, all the time. What about a job? It is basically your boss, the company , using you, because you don't respect yourself. Girls get drinks from nice guys at the bar and then get laid with the guy who doesn't do anything for her and isn't really interested in her, he just has swagger, frame, fun etc.

[PsychedelicEagle]

9 hours ago, Olaf said:

@PsychedelicEagle is this some code language? hehe

Sorry for the lack of clarity, I meant I corroborate.

[Sugarcoat]

7 hours ago, Olaf said:

@Sugarcoat literally a girl with an almost-yelling voice said `I love you!!` behind my back as I walked away after the compliment, aswell as all these girls genuinely being so grateful and expressing their gratitude and be happy when you compliment + walk away. When you compliment and you stay or at least your intention/vibe is to stay, boom, it is completely different. Like now you are giving a compliment to get something, to get some sex or whatever, atleast that is how they see it. That is also why if you are very nice, you are being seen as someone below her, like you are trying to please and simp to get into her bed, instead of her trying to sleep with you (invest into you).

And guys who are new to the game have such toxic habits with this. I said to a guy, go approach a woman NOW doesn't matter how, it was his first day approaching: a few mins later he is walking 2 blocks to carry a woman's suitcase. I haven't laughed that hard in a while, he was busy for 10 mins with two big suitcases, hahahahahahahahahaha. See, they either respect you or they use you. Not only girls, GUYS guys use you too, all the time. What about a job? It is basically your boss, the company , using you, because you don't respect yourself. Girls get drinks from nice guys at the bar and then get laid with the guy who doesn't do anything for her and isn't really interested in her, he just has swagger, frame, fun etc.

I meant maybe they enjoyed that compliment as is without wanting anything further, but thats just an idea idk how women work haven't met so many, just a perspective

Edited 7 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[something_else]

10 hours ago, Olaf said:

Do you think narcissists have no girls? They have a ton, they have every girl in town. That is why every girl reports that they were dating a narcissist, do you ever hear a girl saying, "he was showing soooo much love to me that is why I married him". No, they'd rather move COUNTRIES to find someone who isn't interested in them. 

They have lots of casual sex and can be attractive, but they have extremely dysfunctional long term relationships. I assume that's not your goal.

If you want a healthy long term relationship then don't look at dysfunctional relationships and try to model them. Look at healthy relationships between two secure people. If you express love in a secure and confident way it will drive a woman crazy for you.

She wants to feel like you had a ton of options, but you chose her over all of them. If she feels like that you can be as loving as you like and it won't come across as needy because she knows you don't need her. You specifically chose her.

Imagine the dynamic where you're at a club and a woman sees 5 or 6 different girls approach you, dancing with you etc. over the course of the night. But after all of that you go up to her. She's going to feel incredibly special. That's the feeling you want to cultivate in a long term relationship. "Yes, I could have plenty of other girls, but there's something special about you that I want, and that's why I love you so much"

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I meant maybe they enjoyed that compliment as is without wanting anything further, but thats just an idea idk how women work haven't met so many, just a perspective

Most women are quite bored, if you are a cool guy(or girl ) that hits on them in a calibrated way then a lot will be open to a spontaneous romantic adventure. If they enjoyed the compliment then usually if they're not taken you can get them out on a date! 

Edited 5 hours ago by LordFall

[Sugarcoat]

7 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Most women are quite bored, if you are a cool guy(or girl ) that hits on them in a calibrated way then a lot will be open to a spontaneous romantic adventure. If they enjoyed the compliment then usually if they're not taken you can get them out on a date! 

makes sense. 

[Valach]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

She wants to feel like you had a ton of options, but you chose her over all of them. If she feels like that you can be as loving as you like and it won't come across as needy because she knows you don't need her. You specifically chose her.

Would you say, in your experience, even this desire is stemming from a healthy place? 

Edited 4 hours ago by Valach

[Olaf]

@something_else Basically your saying, don´t let her chase you, increase your value by social proof. Which means your whole relationship is dependent on other girls wanting you as soon as that is gone, she is gone. This doesn´t sound healthy either.

[Olaf]

@LordFall yep a cool guy is the right word, they don´t want a clown per say or someone who love bombs them, they want someone that is just cool. A cool dude isn´t needy, isn´t really invested in the conversation or invested in her that much, is a bit laid-back and nonchalant, knows when to back off and give her space, has social intelligence. The funny thing is that people will literally notice this. I was out this weekend and I was bored of talking to girls who were too drunk, so together with my wingmen I talked to some guys and halfway through the conversation they said `why are you guys so cool?` that is actually a better compliment than someone saying, you are attractive or good-looking etc.

[Lyubov]

Yeah I agree and it’s why in general approaching in and of itself is inherently needy. With swiping online both of you went right so it diminishes the dynamic of you (the man) chasing but it’s also the most saturated place. IG dms have a more needy vibe equivalent to approaching but to make it work you have to have a great profile and look and be writing the right girls. 

I don’t like the word approach cause it usually has a connotation of force to it. Cold approach is alright and if you have thick skin and are in a decent place you can sometimes jsut weather all the NOs and get a date, but a lot of the good places are flooded with tards so girls sorta have their senses about them and are a lot less receptive.

You’re deliberately stopping her. You’re striving to make things work. To be honest if you are great at reading body language and sub communication really grounded and feel good about yourself, you don’t really even need to approach. All the best guys who I’ve seen pull effortlessly in night game don’t “approach.” They flow. They have a great look and clearly are physically attractive and carry themselves like they have shit going for them. You just stay in flow and you sorta get on the same wave length as women where you pick up on their queue they drop which alert you to if they’re interested or not. Eye contact, the way they look at you. You can literally look at a girl and know by approximately 80% if you are a right swipe for her irl. If you aren’t getting these signals, I’m sorry it means you need to work on your look and how attractive you are at first glance. There are ways of throwing out signals back and testing the water

This is why a lot of guys on the spectrum or guys with a bad look go though so much crap approaching. They aren’t able to read queues, have poor self esteem and don’t have an attractive vibe or swag to them, so it turns into this sorta brute force thing where you have to grind through cold approaches with forced small talk and poor results with a lot of girls not wanting to exchange numbers before you find a yes. Sometimes a very subtle hi and the most lightest small talk can instantly clue you in where you stand with her. It’s why direct approach is faulty and less refined than guys who know how to indirectly start a conversation or read body language or drop signals. 

Edited 16 minutes ago by Lyubov