What Girls Are Looking For. When Should I Get A Girl?

[Guest Annetta]

Kindness, genuineness, safety, conversation, emotional reciprocation, dirty sex, emotional sex, intuition, confidence, street smarts, book smarts, chicks like it when you treat them like an annoying/endearing little sister.

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I understand. If you just didn't get it, then I understand why you responded to my posts with hostility. But my whole purpose for interacting on this forum is to try help people through their issues. It's something that I enjoy doing. So, the number one thing to do is to try to harmonize perspectives before trying to help. So, I meant no antagonism by my reply to you.

I feel like, when you read my post, you just saw my gender and assumed that I was being confrontational and antagonistic with you. But that's not true. I really was trying to help you with your dating/relationship endeavors. I do admit, however, I felt a little incredulous and amused when you told me to "stay in my own lane" because I don't really have any thing of substance to say about female emotions BECAUSE I"m female. But that just made me giggle a little at the illogical and contradictory nature of what you posted. 

But, forget about understanding what I said about dating dynamics. Those are more advanced issues for a later time. You need to first learn to be whole within yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. If you try to have a relationship with a woman at this point, you will suck each-other's souls dry.  It seems to me that you're suffering from repression of your feminine side. You will have constant issues with women until you learn to do this. You will feel like women are antagonizing you at every turn... despite the fact that, deep down, you know that this isn't true. 

Here's a video about the Anima and how men and masculine-oriented women can integrate the feminine part of themselves in an authentic way. 

You assume you are way up there, way above someone else, it rubs me the wrong way. 

You go sort that out. Then talk to me. You need a little reality check. 

[SFRL]

@Jordan wang also tell them you will go down on them. That will usually get you to raid to those panties. 

[SFRL]

1 minute ago, Fidelio said:

Also tell them your name is Wang. They'll intuitively know what's up.

Yes Jordan Wang that means that your Wang will jump up trough the ceiling. 

[Shin]

16 hours ago, SFRL said:

You assume you are way up there, way above someone else, it rubs me the wrong way. 

 

If she rubs you the wrong way, it is only because you have a wounded ego.
You can't be pissed of at someone if you don't hold any inner wound, it isn't possible.
The only way you can hold a grudge at someone is because it reflects something that you don't like about yourself ...

You may think she's giving you a lesson, and maybe she is (there is no way to know), but the fact that you believe that shows that you have some conflict within yourself that you need to adress.

Why do you think she's showing off, instead of thinking she's really trying to help ?

Meditate on that ...
 

[SFRL]

So Jordan Wanky Wang. We are happy to help. But all this advice is not just giggles. We expect some results. What do you think is a fair calendar date in the future for you to raid your first panty? We will set that as a deadline. You can always ask for advice. 

[SFRL]

@Shin you have turned into a proper white knight lately. What's with that?

Also what's with hoarding likes? Commenting on answers within your own previous comments. Don't lie man I have seen you do it. Tell me how that has nothing to do with the ego. 

Edited June 13, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

@Jordan wang I am just having fun though. 

You wil be fine. Just keep it moving and keep taking action. 

Its all about exposure to the situation over and over again. 

Edited June 13, 2017 by SFRL

[Shin]

[Guest Annetta]

 

[electroBeam]

On 6/13/2017 at 3:36 AM, Seed said:

 

@Emerald

I agree, women understand themselves, their emotions and what they desire so much more than a man can every begin to comtemplate. It is funny to see them try though.

However, these rules will work for a pool of unconscious women, but are they really what you want? Only you can answer that.

 

 

@Emerald

It makes sense from your perspective that you 2 would know how to attract women more than us. But that's not the case.

Just because you guys have awareness of what is happening inside your skull, doesn't mean you guys know, or are aware of why those things in your skull pop up in the first place, let alone have full awareness of the techniques guys pull, and how that effects your thoughts and desires.

This leads to a lot of projection and misleading information, and honestly thinking you know more than you do, hence why guys don't usually want to ask a girl what attracts them.

Sometimes it is useful, but often times it is not.

The other point you're forgetting is that, to teach someone to attract a girl, you need to be able to organize information in a palatable way, and give him a certain perspective so that he can dualistically think of a way of attracting them. This first person perspective from a woman doesn't even provide a slight tint of this. But guys who have tried these techniques, like Leo and RSD Tyler, have observed things from a dualistic, scientific perspective, which makes it much easier to turn that info into techniques for getting girls. 

This is a well known problem in cognitive psychology, and is the reason why cognitive psychology was made in the first place. Science and duality is a made up framework. And its not compatible with truth; your first person experience, for it to be useful. 

The reason why scientists didn't ask Einstein for a reason as to why he was so smart, is because from his first person perspective, he couldn't provide a scientific reason for it, no matter how good of a scientist he was. That's why scientists looked at his brain after his death, and found the centre of it to be 2wice as big as the other parts.

The reason why guys don't ask girls for what attracts girls is because their 1st person perspective isn't useful for our dualistic understandings., and hence our techniques.

What you guys say(assuming your as aware as the buddha) is more true than what guys say, but our murky beliefs are more useful than your observations.

 

From your perspective, you don't like bad emotions. But the problem here is then you go and assume:

- bad emotions makes guys less likely to get a girl

- that bad emotions are useless

- women will ditch a guy because of bad emotions.

Yes you might know more about whether a certain thing we do brings up bad emotions, but let me tell you, guys know more about how those bad emotions make you react. It doesn't even matter what's happening inside your head, as long as we know what behavior yields what, we've achieved our goal.

Edited June 13, 2017 by electroBeam

[SFRL]

@Emerald You don't agree with the full spectrum of emotions. But yet here you are still going at it. What are you getting out if it? Looks like emotional stimulaton to me. 

I thought you were done anyways. Now its one more thing. And then one more thing. Just throwing insults out there. Just because you see something you don't agree with. Are you not supposed to be some spirituality Guru or something? Because you are dropping the act right now. 

Edited June 14, 2017 by SFRL

[electroBeam]

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And the WHY is very important if you're looking for a long-term relationship like the creator of this thread.

pickup and a long term relationship, is as different as the night and the day.

35 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Creating negative emotions in a woman will send a sane woman who has high self-esteem in the opposite direction. She will recognize the manipulation tactic of purposefully negging her and determine that the man is not worth her time.

This person is also 0.01% of the population, if she exists at all.

You have to first attract a girl, and then you can do stuff that makes a relationship successful.

Like girls wear makeup for a reason. I could tell a girl on here "Don't wear makeup, you'll attract all the douchebags who only care about looks" but you know as well as me that high quality guys also care about looks.

And I'm speaking from experience. I'm in a relationship now, and I go there from using certain tactics, and then stopping those tactics after the relationship got serious. Just because you're a decade older, doesn't mean I have no xp with women.

[SFRL]

36 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's true. Which is why I recommended avoiding using any negative emotion inducing pick up techniques when searching for a long-term relationship.

Don't get caught up in the scarcity mindset. Healthy women do exist, and you will be able to find some of them that are attracted to you as long as you yourself are psychologically healthy and stable. There are many dysfunctional people in society but you can always find someone who isn't dysfunctional. And you're better off being alone than with a dysfunctional person... especially if your goal is to self-actualize. Solitude is a lot more friendly.

I do understand that you have some experience with dating women and attracting women, and I'm not trying to take any progress away from you. I'm sure that you know how to do the attraction and initial part just fine. But this is only the very beginning of things. I'm not really talking about the attraction part (as in your make-up example)... I'm talking about the later consequences of who you attract. Make-up attracts a variety of men: healthy and unhealthy. So, men being attracted to a woman who wears make-up won't tell you much about his character. You have to use other ways to find out. Negative emotions only attract a certain type of women who are very unhealthy, and will eventually cause strain on your life if it turns serious. The attraction based on negative emotions, in itself, is the litmus test. 

I have also spent almost twelve years of my life (between two different partners) in committed relationships where we lived together. And if you haven't co-habitated with a dysfunctional partner and been in a serious relationship for more than six months, then you have no idea how dark and depressing your life can get simply because of your choice in partners. Anyone who has been in an unhealthy relationship will tell you this. What I've found is that you can only ever be as happy as your partner is. And if your partner is chronically negative or having issues, then you will not be able to be happy. It's like being in prison. And if your partner is unstable, then you will be unstable. 

But you do have to attract a girl first. So, you want to make sure that the girl you attract is psychologically healthy and stable. And women who respond with attraction to negativity are usually the opposite. Feel okay with having high standards in this way. Remember you don't need a relationship, you want a relationship. And if you want sweetness in your relationship, avoid attracting women through negging or making them feel negative in some way. As you become more psychologically healthy, women who mirror this tendency will be more attracted to you. But I understand that you're in a relationship, so I hope that works out well. 

Sounds like your own personal baggage.

Also yeah you got those experiences. Guess what other people got their experiences with relationships as well. 

Its a forum you really have no idea who you are talking to but you assume that your experience goes far beyond the life experience of other people. 

We were,done talking already, we can keep it that way. I have started my vacation now. I really got better things to do. 

[Guest Annetta]

What if I am dysfunctional in some ways and am worried that these might be irreparable.  Should I remain single?  How can I ever start a relationship with someone if they still exist?

[Prabhaker]

1 minute ago, Annetta said:

 Should I remain single?

In a relationship either there is an ugly compromise , or else passion that eventually turns into hate. In a better, more intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any contracts.

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker Are you referring to celibacy, polyamory or an open relationship?

[Prabhaker]

@Annetta

The moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say that the time has come to part. There is no need for marriage, there is no need for divorce. Then friendship will be possible. 

Friendship is possible between equal human beings, totally free from all bondage of society, culture, civilization, only living true to their authentic nature. It is not an insult to the woman to say, "Honey, the honeymoon is over." It is not an insult to the man if the woman says, "Now things cannot be beautiful. The wind that has blown is no longer there. The season has changed, it is no longer spring between us; no flowers blossom, no fragrance arises. It is time to part." 

Love is not a relationship, if you want to grow into a meditator, never compromise with your freedom.

[Spiral]

I don't know about you people, but don't people you like just come and go? If you meet one you like let them know, if you don't tell or don't find anyone  you like then focus on something else. 

@Jordan wang Do I wish i would have been more active with girls when I was 13-19, yeah sure. But only to learn and possible to have a bit more "fun". I would not really considered a big loss if you don't, work on yourself instead.

Girls "only" primarily you with provide with more confidence and some knowledge about them. They can also waste a lot of your time so I would recommend doing something else for now. Experience new things, travel(even within the same country), make new friends(possibly female?), try different jobs and if you meet one on way: good for you.

The worst thing you can do is to just sit at home on your spare time and be pissed about being inexperienced. Watching self-help videos all day is not gonna do it either, that's a what i've did, don't make the same mistake.If you do something more with your life, you'll be a better version of yourself and girls will come naturally

 

[Guest Annetta]

@Fidelio Ok cool!  Thanks!