Dating One Person At Once vs Multiple - Before Commitment

[Miguel1]

Let’s drop all the PUA toxic bs for a moment.

If you’re goal is to find a healthy relationship that is deeply aligned, should you date one person at a time or multiple?

The more I drop the PUA paradigm, the more it makes sense to date only ONE person at once.

Your dating should be so honest, authentic and vulnerable that you find out about the potential of the relationship in a few dates.

If you only do surface level dating, then of course it takes forever to find our if you are aligned and compatible.

What do you think? What are your reasons?

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P.S. If I see one Grandiose joke, or one Daddy joke, I’m gonna Spank you.

Edited 5 hours ago by Miguel1

[Inliytened1]

2 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Let’s drop all the PUA toxic bs for a moment.

If you’re goal is to find a healthy relationship that is deeply aligned, should you date one person at a time or multiple?

The more I drop the PUA paradigm, the more it makes sense to date only ONE person at once.

Your dating should be so honest, authentic and vulnerable that you find out about the potential of the relationship in a few dates.

If you only do surface level dating, then of course it takes forever to find our if you are aligned and compatible.

What do you think? What are your reasons?

Welcome home. You thought the alternative worked? I mean you have to at least get that working if you are going to have any chance of some kind of swinging shit.

Edited 3 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Zenterus]

It depends by your definition of "date."

I'm with you when you say that when one exits the PUA paradigm that dating multiple women seems somehow... wrong, but in the process of finding your ideal partner, you do have to cast a wide net -- especially if your standards are high.

I will personally talk to and go on multiple first dates with various girls in a span of a couple of weeks, but 9/10 times there won't be a second date. Once I meet a girl with potential, then yeah, I just focus on her until it shakes out either positively (which that means we start dating all the way to commitment) or negatively, which in that case I'm back in the game, baby.

[Inliytened1]

19 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

It depends by your definition of "date."

I'm with you when you say that when one exits the PUA paradigm that dating multiple women seems somehow... wrong, but in the process of finding your ideal partner, you do have to cast a wide net -- especially if your standards are high.

I will personally talk to and go on multiple first dates with various girls in a span of a couple of weeks, but 9/10 times there won't be a second date. Once I meet a girl with potential, then yeah, I just focus on her until it shakes out either positively (which that means we start dating all the way to commitment) or negatively, which in that case I'm back in the game, baby.

9 out of ten times there isn't?  What is wrong? Are you just that picky?

Edited 3 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Zenterus]

@Inliytened1 Yes

[LordFall]

I think if you are primarily interested in monogamy then spinning plates can be okay but I think you're right that keeping your energy for one deep connection makes sense if that's your goal.

I would game in a manner where you are building a strong social circle with female friends and acquaintances so that you're continuously meeting and building bonds with women that your relate with and are aligned with your goals and then you ask out the ones you really vibe with and you try to make them your girlfriend.

Something like this

Edited 2 hours ago by LordFall

[Lyubov]

I don't think it really matters. Relationships go the distance as far as your communication skills are developed + how authentic/honest you are in flow, and even that could mean the relationship authentically ends, it's no guarantee at all. Dating a lot of people at once can also reflect scarcity based beliefs or an imbalance. It's time consuming to date lots of people. I think culture also plays a roll. Seems like in more romance cultures like Latin America they are sorta slightly more open and flexible with this and secure in a more extroverted open relationship type of dating before getting serious. 

From my lens I obviously would not take any girl seriously if she is still seeing an ex or something like this. That's also usually a scarcity based belief system at play since people who are usually in their flow let go and welcome with open arms the unknown (new). So that's just my perspective, nothing I'm saying here is absolute and it's different for everyone. I've heard of one woman who got divorced and met her new husband like a month later and they've been happily married for 20 years now. Just do what's authentic for you. Test what works for you against your belief system, the rules that govern relationships and their dynamics are largely arbitrary and as unpredictable as a rushing river. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Lyubov

[Inliytened1]

18 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

@Inliytened1 Yes

Well that's how its supposed to be played.  Don't be shy about it.  Shit, if i coud go on 10 dates and not fuck any of them i would probably pat myself on the back.  That you have guidelines and rules is a great thing.  I'm just like a dog out for water.