Does body count matter for you?

[Ulax]

12 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I'm aghast and utterly confused regarding this discussion.

I don't think anyone is really comprehending what @Xonas Pitfall & @Valach are raising.

I almost verge on recommending some sort of professional therapy or help for some of the members here regarding unconscious limiting views. I know this is for deaf ears. I can hope for healing though.

Dehumanisation.

Dehumanisation?

[Ulax]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

We got this on lock down

Come on bro. You can't just buy into their reality based on some vague accusation.

[Ulax]

41 minutes ago, Valach said:

His "views" are heavily misogynistic.

That claim is so universal its absurd. But, some of his views are yes. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

10 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

We got this on lock down

I hope we can assist those astray - I don't think blocking conversation would help with education (if locking the thread was the implication, it was sort of vague ).

In the end when the belief has become part of identity it becomes a stubborn part of the complex. 

Sort of why my signature is what it is, and hasn't changed.

C'est la vie

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Come on bro. You can't just buy into their reality based on some vague accusation.

As long as it's not misogyny.  I like to get women like the best of them.  But there is a level of respect. I don't know his history, I'll admit that.  But there is enough uproar here that it should warrant looking at.  All I'm saying.

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I hope we can assist those astray - I don't think blocking conversation would help with education (if locking the thread was the implication, it was sort of vague ).

In the end when the belief has become part of identity it becomes a stubborn part of the complex. 

Sort of why my signature is what it is, and hasn't changed.

C'est la vie

We can lead a horse to water.....

[aurum]

"Body count" is, at best, a proxy for an ability to bond and be loyal in a relationship.

The problem is that a number alone doesn't answer that question.

There's also a question of correlation vs causation, i.e high body count doesn't cause a loss of pair bonding, but it might be correlated with someone who doesn't have much interest in that.

Ultimately you just have to look at the behavior of the woman you're dating. If she's bonding and is loyal, it doesn't matter if she has zero or a hundred bodies.

SD Orange / Green also brings a lot of sexual liberation. So a slightly higher body count can actually indicate higher development and a greater connection to their own sexuality compared to SD Blue. Someone who has not gone through that liberation will have a pretty repressed relationship with their sexuality.

[Ulax]

16 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

As long as it's not misogyny.  I like to get women like the best of them.  But there is a level of respect. I don't know his history, I'll admit that.  But there is enough uproar here that it should warrant looking at.  All I'm saying.

Makes sense

[Ulax]

7 minutes ago, aurum said:

"Body count" is, at best, a proxy for an ability to bond and be loyal in a relationship.

The problem is that a number alone doesn't answer that question.

There's also a question of correlation vs causation, i.e high body count doesn't cause a loss of pair bonding, but it might be correlated with someone who doesn't have much interest in that.

Ultimately you just have to look at the behavior of the woman you're dating. If she's bonding and is loyal, it doesn't matter if she has zero or a hundred bodies.

SD Orange / Green also brings a lot of sexual liberation. So a slightly higher body count can actually indicate higher development and a greater connection to their own sexuality compared to SD Blue. Someone who has not gone through that liberation will have a pretty repressed relationship with their sexuality.

Its biology for a man to dislike a higher body count

[aurum]

1 minute ago, Ulax said:

Its biology for a man to dislike a higher body count

That makes it a survival heuristic.

It doesn't tell us what is true. Nor do we have to listen to it.

[Inliytened1]

37 minutes ago, aurum said:

"Body count" is, at best, a proxy for an ability to bond and be loyal in a relationship.

The problem is that a number alone doesn't answer that question.

There's also a question of correlation vs causation, i.e high body count doesn't cause a loss of pair bonding, but it might be correlated with someone who doesn't have much interest in that.

Ultimately you just have to look at the behavior of the woman you're dating. If she's bonding and is loyal, it doesn't matter if she has zero or a hundred bodies.

SD Orange / Green also brings a lot of sexual liberation. So a slightly higher body count can actually indicate higher development and a greater connection to their own sexuality compared to SD Blue. Someone who has not gone through that liberation will have a pretty repressed relationship with their sexuality.

Stage Green is sexual liberation

you talking out your ass now.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@aurum Cheers for the posts, I found them useful to separate out origin, truth and action rather than muddling them all together - If broken down I see that evolutionary history may provide part of the explanation (especially regarding paternity insecurity as a evolutionary hypothesis / explanation). Applied here that leaves two crucial questions "is the reaction accurate in this particular case?" and "should I act according to the reaction?"

The last question there being crucial as it is a value judgement.

Also: "I feel aversion" = "something is objectively wrong with her" is a non sequitur. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Ulax]

25 minutes ago, aurum said:

That makes it a survival heuristic.

It doesn't tell us what is true. Nor do we have to listen to it.

That is a different argument

[aurum]

52 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Stage Green is sexual liberation

you talking out your ass now.

It's some combo of Orange and Green.

Orange can be very individualistic and hedonistic compared to Blue. 

[Inliytened1]

11 minutes ago, aurum said:

It's some combo of Orange and Green.

Orange can be very individualistic and hedonistic compared to Blue. 

Can you explain the stages of it as it pertains to sexuality though?  just curious - I wanna see how I match up.

The other issue is that SD is a model - so people can linger in various stages even if the stages themselves offer up different levels of advancement.   And if you have one foot in orange and one foot in yellow, then what.  That's when it begins to break down.   The stage skipping .

Edited 4 hours ago by Inliytened1

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@aurum Cheers for the posts, I found them useful to separate out origin, truth and action rather than muddling them all together - If broken down I see that evolutionary history may provide part of the explanation (especially regarding paternity insecurity as a evolutionary hypothesis / explanation). Applied here that leaves two crucial questions "is the reaction accurate in this particular case?" and "should I act according to the reaction?"

The last question there being crucial as it is a value judgement.

Also: "I feel aversion" = "something is objectively wrong with her" is a non sequitur. 

Yes exactly.

And it certainly has no baring on physical attraction itself. Which is why guys have no problem getting off to their favorite pornstar, who has way more bodies than any woman he has met in real life.

The aversion, if it all, comes when he starts thinking about commitment. But honestly I think the danger is mostly overblown.

Body count alone is just not enough to tell you anything conclusive. You need to observe way more about her than that. 

[Inliytened1]

@aurumwhere you at

[aurum]

47 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Can you explain the stages of it as it pertains to sexuality though?  just curious - I wanna see how I match up.

It's complicated.

At Blue, sexuality tends to get repressed hard for the sake of social order. Blue values self-sacrifice, submitting to a higher power and conformity. Although because development is still so low, there's a lot of hypocrisy and failing to live up to ideals.

Orange opens up the repression of Blue. You're not living for a higher power anymore, so you might as well chase worldly pleasure, including sex. But sex can become very emotionally disconnected, transactional or mechanical.

Green really values authentic self-expression and starts to open up to a radical relativism. This includes around any sexual shame or emotional repression. Sexuality is also valued more for its intimacy and vulnerability rather than achievement.

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, aurum said:

It's complicated.

At Blue, sexuality tends to get repressed hard for the sake of social order. Blue values self-sacrifice, submitting to a higher power and conformity. Although because development is still so low, there's a lot of hypocrisy and failing to live up to ideals.

Orange opens up the repression of Blue. You're not living for a higher power anymore, so you might as well chase worldly pleasure, including sex. But sex can become very emotionally disconnected, transactional or mechanical.

Green really values authentic self-expression and starts to open up to a radical relativism. This includes around any sexual shame or emotional repression. Sexuality is also valued more for its intimacy and vulnerability rather than achievement.

Thanks.  We're just dumb brutes here. Least I am.  Um...so do where does the ability to stay committed come in?  I would think Green - but maybe higher

[aurum]

9 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Thanks.  We're just dumb brutes here. Least I am.  Um...so do where does the ability to stay committed come in?  I would think Green - but maybe higher

You can have commitment at any level.

Blue can be extremely good at commitment. Blue is your grandparents who stayed together for 50+ years. So it's definitely not just a function of Green.

Green can actually struggle with commitment because it cares so much about its authentic expression, rather than making the sacrifices needed for commitment.