Does body count matter for you?

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Why not? This is demonstrably false in many ways.

Why do you care if people blast you? It should make your vision and thoughts way more powerful. Echo chambers are very dangerous to one's philosophy and overall epistemology. I'll repost this image as I think it illustrates the concept so beautifully.Being antifragile is one of the most powerful self-development concepts I've ever encountered.

Steel is extremely solid, it can bend and resist all kind of torsion. It is one of humanity's greatest invention. Muscle is antifragile, if you tear it it grows back stronger. Same with breaking bones. Organic beings are unique in this property, actual dead matter doesn't seem to have this quality. 

 

You don't get both.  The mindset is different.

[Xonas Pitfall]

26 minutes ago, AION said:

Spirituality is not about tucking your dick between your legs. Ken Wilber doesn’t tell me to castrate myself. Perhaps your teaching does that. I don’t subscribe to spiritual bypassing. I have fully integrated stage red and other lower stages and I’m not ashamed for it. Currently I’m tier 2 and pushing towards tier 3. 

No one said it is. As I said above, you can absolutely have relationships, have sex, and even practice polyamory from a conscious angle while still approaching it from a more grounded and honest place.

If you just want to fuck and have fun, sure. But please stop claiming that you're Tier 2, that you understand the truth of love, how women are, what women/men are, or that you're somehow acting honestly at all here.

A lot of your rhetoric sounds very similar to old-school PUA/red-pill manipulation tactics: seeking out younger, less experienced women because they're easier to influence, hooking them, playing with their emotions, and failing to respect their sovereignty. Hoping to hook them into polyamory, keeping things deliberately loose so they can become attached while you avoid taking any real responsibility, and essentially being enslaved to other men's opinions, letting their judgments determine who you should be seen with and what kind of woman is "valuable."

Again, as I said above, do whatever you want. I'm not attacking that. But please stop with these unbelievably harsh judgments of women and other men and their relationships. You don't actually care about truth here. You care about having fun and fucking around. That's it. You care about looking good socially with a hot girl, and you care about having your ego validated. Those things are all fine (to an extent)

But when you come on here and start posting things about how women are all emotional children, emotionally damaged or "baggaged," irrational, immature, manipulative, attention-seeking, incapable of handling relationships responsibly, or somehow less valuable because of their age, experience, or body count, how they're unintelligent, selfish, or retarded, or how you specifically prefer them young, malleable, and easier to control, that's where I have an issue. And that's where I think a lot of the other members you've had "beef" with have an issue too.

Edited 59 minutes ago by Xonas Pitfall

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, AION said:

Who told you life is fair? Look around. 

It isn’t fair. That doesn’t change the fact that you are a hypocrite.

[LordFall]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

You don't get both.  The mindset is different.

Simply not true my man.

You can be in a ethically non monogamous type of polyamorous relationship one main pivot and still fuck other women on the side with or without your main girl. You can do so in way where your main girl doesn't see other men or have it to where she does, depends on what she wants.

It's absolutely possible to have deep emotional connection and safety and have sexual abundance. This is a false dichotomy. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I think it would be distressing internally operating with the level of cognitive dissonance in OP thinking 🙁

[Xonas Pitfall]

Just now, something_else said:

Who told you life is fair? Look around. 

Hitler could also say, "Who told you life is fair? Look around." That doesn't mean his statements, ideology, or approach were fundamentally correct.

People are calling out what they see as hypocrisy, contradictions, and untruthful claims.

Validate your ego and have as much fun as you want. But when you've made this many strong, judgmental, and definitive statements across the forum, people are naturally going to point out the flaws, contradictions, and selfishness in what you're saying.

[Inliytened1]

9 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Simply not true my man.

You can be in a ethically non monogamous type of polyamorous relationship one main pivot and still fuck other women on the side with or without your main girl. You can do so in way where your main girl doesn't see other men or have it to where she does, depends on what she wants.

It's absolutely possible to have deep emotional connection and safety and have sexual abundance. This is a false dichotomy. 

Well that's my fantasy to be honest.  But I haven't found a lady it works with yet.

 

Edited 56 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[something_else]

16 minutes ago, LordFall said:

You can be in an ethically non monogamous type of polyamorous relationship one main pivot and still fuck other women on the side with or without your main girl. You can do so in way where your main girl doesn't see other men or have it to where she does, depends on what she wants.

I find it hard to believe you can achieve this kind of setup ethically, or maintain it with any sort of stability. Somebody is always going to get hurt in the end. Especially with the one-sided monogamy part. 

It’s convenient for you as a horny dude to believe a setup like this is ethical because it heavily benefits your pleasure and survival, but it is clear from your language that you’re still viewing women as objects which exist solely to cater to you and your pleasure. It’s an inherently unethical mindset that will always result in pain and suffering in the end.

To be clear, I don’t think that’s inherently a bad thing. Men are always going to see women like this to a degree and people get hurt in all relationship types. It’s part of life. What I don’t like is that you’re claiming this setup is possible to orchestrate and maintain entirely ethically, I think you are believing what is convenient for you to believe.

It’s analogous to a billionaire claiming they amassed their wealth entirely ethically. It’s theoretically possible, but there probably isn’t a single case of that happening in the entire world, except lottery winners by sheer dumb luck.

Edited 48 minutes ago by something_else

[LordFall]

9 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Well that's my fantasy to be honest.  But I haven't found a lady it works with yet.

 

Same bro I’ll race you to it. The last one to achieve it owes the other one a beer 🍻 

@something_else I don’t really like speaking in generalities. Which part of this idea do you think for yourself personally would be hardest to achieve and we can discuss from there. 

Edited 46 minutes ago by LordFall

[something_else]

17 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I think it would be distressing internally operating with the level of cognitive dissonance in OP thinking 🙁

It’s almost impressive

[Inliytened1]

6 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Same bro I’ll race you to it. The last one to achieve it owes the other one a beer 🍻 
 

Ok I got the shots.

[Xonas Pitfall]

I wonder if any of these people have even had a relationship that lasted a year or two and was successfully maintained in a healthy, emotionally stable way. A lot of this talk comes across as idealized without much experience.

It sounds like businesspeople who have never successfully run a business for even three years dreaming about owning a multinational empire with dozens of product lines.

Edited 37 minutes ago by Xonas Pitfall

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

I wonder if any of these people have even had a relationship that lasted a year or two and was successfully maintained in a healthy, emotionally stable way. A lot of this talk comes across as idealized without much experience.

It sounds like businesspeople who have never successfully run a business for even three years dreaming about owning a multinational empire with dozens of product lines.

Is there such a thing as a successful relationsihip?  Time does not really indicate success.  There are many businesses around for decades that aren't successes.  What is a success?  What is a successful relatioshhip?  If they go to the end but are at each others throats the majority of the time?  Was it worth it?  I don't know.  I'm asking you and I'm asking @LordFall since he claims to have all the fancy answers.  What does a relationship mean to you?  I think we should start a new thread for that.

Edited 29 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Xonas Pitfall]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Is there such a thing as a successful relationsihip?  Time does not really indicate success.  There are many businesses around for decades that aren't successes.  What is a success?  What is a successful relationhip?  If they go to the end but are at each others throats the majority of the time?  Was it worth it?  I don't know.  I'm asking you and I'm asking @LordFall since he claims to have all the fancy answers.  What does a relationship mean to you?  I think we should start a new thread for that.

It's definitely subjective. My only argument is that it doesn't really sound like many of the people commenting have much experience maintaining or being in long-term relationships. A lot of what is being described seems to revolve around "quick fun" and short-term experiences.

So I can understand that if that's your primary experience, it might be easier to make more idealized or fantasy-like statements about relationships and sexuality without having much experience with the realities of sustaining a long-term relationship.

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

It's definitely subjective. My only argument is that it doesn't really sound like many of the people commenting have much experience maintaining or being in long-term relationships. A lot of what is being described seems to revolve around "quick fun" and short-term experiences.

So I can understand that if that's your primary experience, it might be easier to make more idealized or fantasy-like statements about relationships and sexuality without having much experience with the realities of sustaining a long-term relationship.

Well, you are right.  This section is exttremely shallow from what i have seen of it thus far, but i only recently started to delve here.  I don't even know if Leo is still into pickup or if he is looking for something long term.

I have always been torn. That's my problem.  And I don't want @AION to run into that.  I could never commit because i was always over thinking.  I have had long term relationships - but my longest was 7 years.  It always fell apart in one way or another.

Edited 24 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

• Being vigilant of our infinite capacity for self-deception in all its forms:
  • Dogma
  • Black & white thinking
  • Superstitious thinking
  • Warping of our worldview due to ego & personal bias
  • Narcissism
  • Vanity
  • Hedonism
  • Group think & social conditioning
  • Arm-chair philosophy
  • Academic snobbery or technical argumentation
  • Debate
  • Acting superior
  • Judging/criticizing others

I'm confused. Why does this make actualized.org a spiritual forum?

[something_else]

32 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I don’t really like speaking in generalities. Which part of this idea do you think for yourself personally would be hardest to achieve and we can discuss from there. 

I’ve been with girls in open relationships, and I’ve played the game where I’m seeing lots of girls at once who vaguely know about each other but claim not to care. In the end, somebody always gets hurt. I’ve had threesomes in that setup too, and almost every time it created divides, even if all of us enjoyed it at the time.

Looking back, it caused a lot of suffering and chaos that was convenient for me to ignore because I was getting lots of fun sex. If a woman really likes you, she’ll often tolerate a lot and say she’s fine with things she isn’t actually fine with deep down.

So there’s no real blocker to me living that lifestyle. My experience is just that doing it ethically long term is incredibly hard, bordering on impossible. It’s a fundamentally unstable setup.

It’s hard enough to maintain one romantic relationship long term without someone getting hurt, let alone a whole web of them. For short-term stuff where everyone knows what it is, it can be great fun. But sooner or later, and with enough short term pursuits, someone catches feelings, gets attached, jealousy builds, and people get hurt.

Edited 16 minutes ago by something_else

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

I’ve been with girls in open relationships,

If you really want a girl to care about you open relationships don't work.  Because she'll have to close off to you.

I don't know if the alternative works either, becaause I'm too much of a selfish asshole, but i think it could.

But i think the only way it could work is if you are both exclusive and just into each other. 

Edited 14 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, Valach said:

Do not understand how you made it to almost 3k posts around here and did not get banned.

Partly because often you guys prod and poke him all the time with personal attacks because you dislike his views, and then whinge and complain when he engages in more overt personal attacks back at you.