Why is freedom from attachment to experience better than being a slave to desire?

[Monster Energy]

I’ve been reflecting deeply on the idea that our true nature is already whole and complete.

I think I understand it intellectually, but I’m trying to understand what it actually means in direct experience.

Here’s an example.

Sometimes I have a strong sexual fantasy, and my mind says:

“You need to masturbate to this fantasy, otherwise you’ll experience a deep sense of loss.”

The fear feels incredibly convincing, almost as if something essential is at stake.

What I’m trying to understand is this.

I’m not trying to get rid of desire. I don’t want to stop feeling lust.

What I want is to stop feeling psychologically dependent on fulfilling it.

Ideally, I’d like to reach a place where:

If I choose to masturbate, that’s okay.

If I choose not to masturbate, that’s equally okay.

Not because both choices produce the exact same experience, but because neither choice determines whether I’m fundamentally whole.

If our true nature is already complete, is the reason fear gradually loses its power that we discover through direct experience that no external experience can actually make us more complete or less complete?

Is psychological suffering created by the belief that “I need this particular experience in order to be okay”?

If that’s true, why does that realization eventually make desire lose its sense of urgency? Why does something that once felt like life or death eventually become just another passing impulse?

I’d love to hear how others understand this, especially those who have had direct nondual insights or awakening experiences.

 

[LordFall]

I would be careful in trying to rid yourself of desire, usually it leads to spiritual bypassing or weird repression.

2 minutes ago, Monster Energy said:

Sometimes I have a strong sexual fantasy, and my mind says:

“You need to masturbate to this fantasy, otherwise you’ll experience a deep sense of loss.”

The fear feels incredibly convincing, almost as if something essential is at stake.

The brain loves free dopamine and it builds on anticipation. If you deny it, it will play mind games on you no different than a drug addict. You should reign in the psyche to experience true sovereignty of mind though. To me that means being in control of your urges and desires not a slave to your compulsions. A lot of people in spiritual circles and this forum included use spirituality as cope to excuse lack of real world success and results though. No not the success that society imposes on you but your own ability to reach your own goals. 

Freedom to attachment is the core of the abundance mindset. When you are in abundance you trust yourself that you can create the experiences that you want so your brain is less desperate for it. 

Sex is a harder one to argue but money, power and influence is a better one. Most people have none or very little. When challenged as to why they don't put in effort to building it they will find many excuses, you don't need to be spiritual to make excuses. The spiritual flavor will be about how they are to pure for that or materialism doesn't appeal to them. Often times they will soon after complaining about the world or the economy. If you want to change the world to become high consciousness, you need power and influence my friends. If you master your mind they will serve you greatly in helpind mankind advance forward. 

[Monster Energy]

16 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I would be careful in trying to rid yourself of desire, usually it leads to spiritual bypassing or weird repression.

The brain loves free dopamine and it builds on anticipation. If you deny it, it will play mind games on you no different than a drug addict. You should reign in the psyche to experience true sovereignty of mind though. To me that means being in control of your urges and desires not a slave to your compulsions. A lot of people in spiritual circles and this forum included use spirituality as cope to excuse lack of real world success and results though. No not the success that society imposes on you but your own ability to reach your own goals. 

Freedom to attachment is the core of the abundance mindset. When you are in abundance you trust yourself that you can create the experiences that you want so your brain is less desperate for it. 

Sex is a harder one to argue but money, power and influence is a better one. Most people have none or very little. When challenged as to why they don't put in effort to building it they will find many excuses, you don't need to be spiritual to make excuses. The spiritual flavor will be about how they are to pure for that or materialism doesn't appeal to them. Often times they will soon after complaining about the world or the economy. If you want to change the world to become high consciousness, you need power and influence my friends. If you master your mind they will serve you greatly in helpind mankind advance forward. 

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I think we might be talking about two different things.

I’m not asking about suppressing desire or developing self-control. I’m also not asking about an abundance mindset or believing I can create more experiences in the future.

What I’m trying to understand is something more fundamental.

If our true nature is already whole and complete, why does that realization eventually make desire lose its sense of urgency?

For example, if my mind says, “You need this experience or you’ll feel a deep sense of loss,” why does that thought eventually stop feeling true?

What is the actual mechanism? Is it because I directly realize that no experience can make me more complete or less complete? Or is it something else?

 

[Joseph Maynor]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

I would be careful in trying to rid yourself of desire, usually it leads to spiritual bypassing or weird repression.

Definitely.  

[LordFall]

@Monster Energy I mean it’s just scarcity mindset. Some people in less developed countries get killed for some dude to steal their iphone. A person with a regular source of income doesn’t kill someone for a job they save up for a few weeks to go get one. When you embrace abundance you become less desperate and angsty. 

[Hojo]

And if you dont jerk off it come back x10 power. And then if you stave off that it comes back x10 power. Then x10 and I am rolling on the floor and cant function.

[VeganAwake]

The freedom lies in recognizing there isn't a "you" suffering in the first place.

Then whatever happens, just happens, and that which judges these happenings as good or bad ends.

[gettoefl]

On 20/07/2026 at 7:43 AM, Monster Energy said:

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I think we might be talking about two different things.

I’m not asking about suppressing desire or developing self-control. I’m also not asking about an abundance mindset or believing I can create more experiences in the future.

What I’m trying to understand is something more fundamental.

If our true nature is already whole and complete, why does that realization eventually make desire lose its sense of urgency?

For example, if my mind says, “You need this experience or you’ll feel a deep sense of loss,” why does that thought eventually stop feeling true?

What is the actual mechanism? Is it because I directly realize that no experience can make me more complete or less complete? Or is it something else?

 

To experience gain or to experience loss is the same. One gains, another loses. One day is gain, another day is loss. The way to gain is to give. To give is to receive. The world cannot make you happy. Yet you can make the world happy. Give. Then your store-house increases and you are made happy. Each person and each moment is you. To give all is to gain all for you do everything to yourself.

[Inliytened1]

On 7/20/2026 at 1:20 AM, Monster Energy said:

I’ve been reflecting deeply on the idea that our true nature is already whole and complete.

I think I understand it intellectually, but I’m trying to understand what it actually means in direct experience.

Here’s an example.

Sometimes I have a strong sexual fantasy, and my mind says:

“You need to masturbate to this fantasy, otherwise you’ll experience a deep sense of loss.”

The fear feels incredibly convincing, almost as if something essential is at stake.

What I’m trying to understand is this.

I’m not trying to get rid of desire. I don’t want to stop feeling lust.

What I want is to stop feeling psychologically dependent on fulfilling it.

Ideally, I’d like to reach a place where:

If I choose to masturbate, that’s okay.

If I choose not to masturbate, that’s equally okay.

Not because both choices produce the exact same experience, but because neither choice determines whether I’m fundamentally whole.

If our true nature is already complete, is the reason fear gradually loses its power that we discover through direct experience that no external experience can actually make us more complete or less complete?

Is psychological suffering created by the belief that “I need this particular experience in order to be okay”?

If that’s true, why does that realization eventually make desire lose its sense of urgency? Why does something that once felt like life or death eventually become just another passing impulse?

I’d love to hear how others understand this, especially those who have had direct nondual insights or awakening experiences.

 

It's quite simple.  If you stopped caring about your attachments you wouldn't need to be alive anymore.  We have to keep this stuff dear to keep in existence. 

But this is excellent. This describes what we are to a tee....

We are fucking savages.

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Inliytened1