Gentlemen, I'm officially TRAUMATIZED

[Zenterus]

Y'all better strap up cause this is one of the craziest experiences I've had in the game so far and I don't mean that in a positive way.

First and foremost: I'm so done dealing with these girls, man.

Not only does dating take time away from my purpose and self-actualization journey, but the quality of women that I'm meeting are not even worth the sacrifice. There's always something fucked. Either she has multiple children at a very young age, or we're incompatible in our love-languages, or the sex is terrible, or she's just blatantly irresponsible, or she has some mental issue or crazy STI, or whatever. There's always something!

But this last situation takes the cake for one of the WORST experiences I've had in the dating game in the last 10 years, no joke. 

Funny thing is that I took the entirety of June off from dating in order to reground myself and build a lifestyle that felt good for me independent of outside forces. Come July, I decided to get back in the game again with this new foundation established and literally the FIRST girl I get involved with leaves me completely traumatized!

STORY-TIME -- literally shaking while I'm typing this -- 

Met this lady through daygame on the 1st of July. It was a short interaction where I found out that she was visiting my city from a nearby country because she wanted to check out the vibes and decide if she wanted to move here. She's beautiful, petite, in the mood for an adventure with the possibility of something more if she decides to stay, so "Sweet," I thought. We exchanged numbers and made plans to see each other this weekend when I would show her around the city. 

Unexpectedly, however, we spontaneously met later on that same day, after a little bit of texting, and she ended up spending the night (no sex, though, she was a virgin so we decided not to rush it).

Fast forward a couple days and I end up seeing this girl yesterday again but this time I spent the night at her hotel and also spent a good chunk of today with her, too. The vibe was very sexual, romantic, sweet, cuddly, adventurous, open, vulnerable, etc. I wasn't even thinking about sex much because we were having so much chemistry together. Awesome, right?

Well.. come to find out, this girl migrated to my city because her family basically disowned her, she has no friends, has a pending court date because she amassed MASSIVE debt due to using credit cards to buy shit for herself without the intention of ever paying it back, has stolen her parents' car without having a driver's license, has no money nor ANYWHERE that she could possibly go after she checks out at her hotel -- which basically means she might end up homeless yet seems very unbothered about that -- and keeps joking around that she wants to get married and have babies together.

As I progressively learned more and more of the above points of interest, I went from empathetic, to sympathetic, to worried about her, to then suspicious of her, then straight up afraid that I may have ended up with a girl who is looking to move in with me, to horrified that I am dealing with a very unstable person -- that last part, I came to when I excused myself to the bathroom this morning to rub one out in order to harness the divine wisdom of post nut clarity.

We had plans to spend the whole day together exploring different free festivals in the city but it was becoming obvious that this isn't a girl that I want to get super involved with but that I also couldn't just let her fend for herself. I literally had to reprimand her multiple times about the fact that she's not taking her situation seriously and that she should be coming up with a plan for what the hell she's gonna do when her checkout date (tomorrow, on sunday) comes!

I did a shit ton of research on her behalf to find woman-friendly shelters and various organizations that could help her. When I finally came up with a plan for her, I took her back to her hotel room pre-maturely and basically let her know that this aint gonna work out but I wanna help her by accompanying her to the shelter and assisting her in getting in contact with the right people. She denied my offer, understandably, because she was hurt that I didn't want to be with her and after a fucking hour of trying to comfort her enough so that we can discuss the VERY URGENT PRACTICAL MATTERS AT HAND, I decided that we weren't getting anywhere and I should just leave and go home -- which I did -- only to receive a suicide note in the form of a whatsapp message from her, saying that she's gonna hurt herself and wishing me the best!

Holy %$^# shit.

Now I'm freaking out.

I call the police, asap, and give them whatever info they need to intervene before anything happens to her. After 20 minutes, they call me and they start asking me very specific questions about "my side of the story" and I'm getting a weird vibe from the officer. He's asking me where I live, my social security number, the nature of my relationship with this girl, the extend of our physical intimacy, etc. And I'm thinking to myself now "ah, shit... what did this crazy girl say to the police, man.." Anyway, I know I didn't do anything wrong so I answer truthfully and then ask the officer if there's any way he can assist the girl by getting her to a shelter or something. He's like "Nah, dude, we're police officers not Green Peace" (he didn't say that, but that was basically the subtext behind his words). Anyway, we hang up and now this girl is blowing up my phone freaking out about me calling the police on her, me not wanting to be with her, accusing me of manipulating her, then begging me to come back to her hotel and talk, then she switches back to anger and accusations and I'm like "Dude... What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Get. Involved. With."

I'm leaving a lot out because I could write a whole paper on the events that transpired but I basically ended up having to block her because she kept fucking texting and calling me. Before I did, though, I did send her all the info that she needs to find shelter and get help in case she does end up homeless.

And now here I am, in the peace of quiet of my room, with my cortisol levels spiked to infinity and contemplating my entire life.

I literally took a break from all dating and socializing in order to ground myself in love and build a life that fulfills me, which I successfully did, and the MOMENT I come back to the game, this shit happens.

I'm so upset, man! I'm seriously contemplating staying single for life at this point. Women may have brought out the best in me in the past and have been present during some of the best experiences of my life, but they have also been responsible for some of the absolute WORST and now that I have experienced the level of fulfillment that is possible when one is just doing their own thing in isolation, it makes no sense to risk ever dealing with shit like this again in the future.

If you read this far: Thank you, so much. I needed a listening ear.

 

 

 

 

[Ulax]

Bro is dating on veteran mode

[Hojo]

She just wanted to use you for a place to stay. Everything else was made up.

[Artsy]

Not every hole, is in fact, a goal.

[Valach]

Noone is forcing you to date. And noone is forcing you to take care of lost woman.

[LordFall]

I've met many women like this and even dated one, do not recommend. How some women are into bad boys some men are also into bad girls. Lucky you didn't fuck her that would just make her emotional reactions more extreme, sounds like she could fit into the bipolar/BPD mold.

Another lesson is that you can't really help people if you don't have systems built for yourself. I feel bad at homeless people as well and perhaps you can give a few dollars here and there but unless you're gonna build a whole organization around it there isn't much you can do to fundamentally change people's lives. I have modelling chats and a couple times girls asked if I knew places they could stay temporarily but I couldn't do much apart from hit up another girl to ask. You need a lot of capital to be able to house and feed people. 

I think people especially in spiritual circles hate this answer but in life most problems can be solved by just making more money. A lot of times getting involved with partners that require saving is mostly procrastination to avoid fixing your own life because you get validation and dopamine much more reliably that way. 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Zenterus]

@Ulax If by veteran you mean PTSD. Yes.

@Hojo That was definitely an element, for sure. But this girl had literally no one, so she got super attached to me super quickly.

@Artsy Amen.

@Valach I appreciate the empathy, brother.

[aurum]

@Zenterus Lol bro.

This is why people eventually settle down.

Hooking up with girls in perpetuity is a hellish roller coaster. 

[Zenterus]

@LordFall I'm not sure if she had a mental disorder, but she definitely carries a lot of trauma from her childhood and has major abandonment issues. Crazy thing is that she looks super put together, feminine, sweet and absolutely gorgeous. But then again, if she looked like she eventually behaved then these kinds of people would never have victims. 

As far as the systems thing, I completely agree. If you want to be of most value to people, you have to have some form of status or power first. 

Let's hope there won't be a next time, but I definitely will keep my emotions on lock and ruthlessly let people like that fend for themselves rather than get dragged into their drama. Oh and not having any friends and family because everyone hates them is added on my "red flags" list.

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

 

@Valach I appreciate the empathy, brother.

I did not mean to insult you. You know I like you. But the whole time I was reading that I was like "Why are you interacting with this woman, the red flags are right there?". I've met fair share of crazies, I know they can be traumatazing. But that is why I am looking for the signs and I get the fuck out the moment I see any of them.

Honestly, I would leave it the moment you found out she was a virgin. 

[Zenterus]

@aurum  Brother, I want to settle down! But I can't, for the life of me, meet a woman who I feel secure enough to do that with! I honestly feel like it's the city I'm in or something. I've never met so many deeply flawed people until I moved here about a year ago.

Edited 3 hours ago by Zenterus

[Zenterus]

@Valach I know, man. I don't feel insulted, just still in shock about the whole thing. Interestingly enough, I actually usually do treat virgins as red flags, since my experience has proven that virgin adult women tend to be absolute weirdos. This time, though, I thought it'd be different, I guess. We live and we learn.

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Zenterus said:

@Valach I know, man. I don't feel insulted, just still in shock about the whole thing. Interestingly enough, I actually usually do treat virgins as red flags, since my experience has proven that virgin adult women tend to be absolute weirdos. This time, though, I thought it'd be different, I guess. We live and we learn.

We live, we learn. Best of luck out there. I was once reported falsly to the police for spreading HIV, you can't imagine the stress I went through because if this woman. I remember for weeks after this I would get all anxious when I saw a woman who looked like her outside.

[LordFall]

Do you meditate a lot? I'm getting a lot of sporadic energy from you when reading your posts like you can't stay still and need constant stimulation. This can be a great strength of yours but only through being channeled like a powerful laser. 

You haven't talked much about your life outside of pickup but what does your career and/or business look like? Lack of life purpose makes pussy super appealing. 

 

[aurum]

16 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

@aurum  Brother, I want to settle down! But I can't, for the life of me, meet a woman who I feel secure enough to do that with! I honestly feel like it's the city I'm in or something. I've never met so many deeply flawed people until I moved here about a year ago.

I feel ya man.

It can be rough out there.

[Zenterus]

@Valach  That sounds terrifying, man! I have a friend who was also falsely accused of stuff from his BPD ex and it left him with massive anxiety for years.

@LordFall I used to meditate a lot but these days I'm so focused on what needs to be done in my life that I just don't have much time for these esoteric practises. 

As far as life goes, I'm currently pursuing a master's in Business/Marketing Administration, but need to complete a GMAT before I qualify, so studying for that keeps me very busy. Full transparency though, while I am content with my daily routine and sense of direction, I do not feel happy with my current job. I manage a private espresso bar and saving as much as I can for the master's I want to do next year, but it's a job that doesn't fulfill me at all and since I am not fluent in the local language, my options are limited with my current education (I hold a bachelors for Illustration and Animation Design, which I quickly learned wasn't helping me much in the job market).

My current plan is to get the Master's, get a decent job, grind hard to get my local language levels up and start doing more creative work on the side, as that is my true passion in life.

[Hojo]

@Zenterus thats why she is getting attached she has to make you interested so you will take her in bro. She playing a game she has probably played with many other people. She needs a place to stay this is survival to her. She knows how to make men take care of her. When you say no all hell breaks loose because the first plan didn't work and this is the next plan.

I love you let's have kids means let me stay at your house. That didn't work then she says she will kill herself if you dont let her stay at her house.

You being manipulated the whole time the woman dosent care about you specifically if it was someone else she will pull the exact same thing. Its how she got her hotel probably.

There are many men that will let her stay after threatening suicide its a tactic but you still said no and call the cops. This fucked up her plan again and she get more mad. Its like a toddler.

The content of what she is saying can not even be considered as real shes just saying whatever to get you to let her stay at your place.

Edited 1 hour ago by Hojo

[StaraX]

Seems like a typical case of borderline personality disorder, like Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas.