Are You Aligned In Life?

[Elliott]

Let love in ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙  be moral!!!!! Hell, marry 4 of them, WWJD. Strength in numbers, love is infinite. 👰‍♂ 👰‍♀ 🤵‍♂️👰‍♀ 👰‍♀ 

Edited 8 hours ago by Elliott

[zurew]

48 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I have not said I am tier 2. There are other ways to measure development, than just Spiral Dynamics.

But certainly I have some tier 2 traits in me.

You didnt explicitly say you are tier 2,but you implied it here (where you layed down who would be a good match for you). 

2 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

With a green person, it would be even less different, but still different, altho it should be doable. Would I be the happiest? Probably not.

But in any case, I can grant that there are multiple  metrics on which you can  score higher than most 25 year old girls. (Although, again, depending on which metrics we use, we can achieve this for almost anyone)

The error you make, in my opinion, is picking and emphasizing the metrics on which you might score higher than most 25-year-old women, then creating a relationship standard from that (that's difficult to satisfy based on those metrics) and equating that with some objective development (where development is just mostly defined by having your standards).

The reason this is an issue is because if you think most of your relationship standards come from your level of development, then you are in a difficult position unless you believe that reaching a higher level of development will solve the problem. 

On the other hand, if you acknowledge that your relationship standards are largely shaped by many other factors (not just your level of development) - then you might leave room for questioning and changing some of those standards.

 

If it turns out that your standards cant be changed, then you are in a fucked position -- especially if those standards prevent you from connecting deeply enough with other people. ( But again , that seems to be an issue for most people right now, and its largely related to the meaning crisis)

Edited 8 hours ago by zurew

[Miguel1]

@zurew It is as obvious as day, that an average 25 year old isn’t nearly as capable of being as unbiased, as objective, as selfless, as truthful and honest, as mature in their behaviour, as empathetic, as capable of thinking big picture, systems, nature of reality as me.

It is obvious that an average 25 year old is way more stuck in ego survival than I am.

It is straight up disrespectful to state otherwise. I have been doing this work for 15 years, as one my top priorities.

A normie cannot compare.

Don’t take this work for granted. Actually go out and talk to people, you will notice that most people are simply unconscious survival zombies. It will make you realize how alone you are in this world.

[emil1234]

i can recommend practicing authentic relating, attending tantra / consciousness festivals. it is possible to socialize almost without any fakery or facade, you just need the right community

[Miguel1]

41 minutes ago, emil1234 said:

i can recommend practicing authentic relating, attending tantra / consciousness festivals. it is possible to socialize almost without any fakery or facade, you just need the right community

There is one spiritual festival here in Finland. It’s relatively popular. It’s literally just conformity. You can’t talk with them about anything authentic, cuz they are all high on their conformity bliss.

The more we niche down into serious spiritual events and retreats, the creepier it gets to go there to approach people romantically.

And finally, in these more serious spaces, there is virtually no one I find attractive.

Edited 7 hours ago by Miguel1

[Joseph Maynor]

@Miguel1 I didn't know you lived in Finland.  That is amazing.  

[Miguel1]

20 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

@Miguel1 I didn't know you lived in Finland.  That is amazing.  

Born and raised here. I love this country with my heart.

I don’t think I’ll ever find another place I feel at home at nearly as much as I feel here.

Especially when this is my view:

https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDU2NTIzMDk4NzU0MjA3?story_media_id=3912508033867072451&igsh=MTBpOXk4a3VzNGJrbQ==

One of the only big downsides is that Russia is our neighbour, and you never know what they decide to do.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

6 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Why are you up 

Haha I know - deadass

I had a dream I turned into a Labubu and my teeth were falling out.

And my teeth were purple. As each one fell out I tried to put them back in to my gums, but the gum was floppy with no jawbone. Then the fire services contractors appeared and were assisting me. They drew up a block plan of my mouth and strategies to reinstall teeth. MY GOD.

I was so disturbed I woke full of adrenalin and broke my night phone ban to check the forum...

Anyway. DISTURBING.

[Joshe]

4 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

@zurew It is as obvious as day, that an average 25 year old isn’t nearly as capable of being as unbiased, as objective, as selfless, as truthful and honest, as mature in their behaviour, as empathetic, as capable of thinking big picture, systems, nature of reality as me.

It is obvious that an average 25 year old is way more stuck in ego survival than I am.

It is straight up disrespectful to state otherwise. I have been doing this work for 15 years, as one my top priorities.

A normie cannot compare.

Don’t take this work for granted. Actually go out and talk to people, you will notice that most people are simply unconscious survival zombies. It will make you realize how alone you are in this world.

Who's the best and longest friendship you've had, and what do you credit for why it worked out so well?

Also, what would you say are the main reasons why most friendships didn't last?

[UnbornTao]

Spiritual snobbery/materialism.

Pretension in disguise.

Edited 2 hours ago by UnbornTao

[bazera]

7 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

One of the only big downsides is that Russia is our neighbour, and you never know what they decide to do.

Finland is part of Nato, right? I guess that protects you guys to some degree.

I live in Georgia, it's below Russia and having Russia as one of the neighnours have been the worst thing that has happened to this country in the last 250 years or so. Annexed multiple times, dragged into USSR, and god knows when they will start a new war. Anyways, a bit offtopic. 

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”Am I aligned with what I am doing in life right now?”

”Is this what I want?”

”Is this headed to where I want my life to go?”

Yes every day I try to fill my day with activities that answers Yes to those questions, but I also realize that the path is very dynamic and things change over time, but not daily, rather monthly. But commiting to stuff for 6-12 months has been working so far. 

At the moment I'm socializing less, I'm an extreme introvert unlike you, so it's very easy for me to basically not have any in person contact with other humans for weeks straight and just focus on my goals and work. The goals comprise mostly health, fitness, consciousness practices, skill-building practices in software development, lots of reading / audio-books, contemplation of my life and my patterns in general, that's about it. Pretty boring from the outside, but an essential part of my progress towards whatever I envision for myself long-term.

After this phase, there will come a phase of maintaining all that I build now, adding more socializing, travel, relationships. All that next year. 

As for your struggles, I hope you'll find some resolution to it. I dated a spiritual girl who also got a lot of trauma, but was green-yellowish, but that also became boring after a while (years), so I'm kinda dissilusioned now, I don't even know if I want to date a girl like that, but I didn't have much more experience outside of her, so maybe for me the issue is just a lack of experience.

But at the moment I'm very content with me being alone, having partner would disrupt my routines since I have a limited free time to work on other areas. 

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I wish I was able to be fully content being alone for the rest of my life.

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Being alone is very hard as a natural extrovert.

Also, you mentioned you wanted to do more spiritual work, maybe the answer lies in that? Maybe you do another round of hardcore practices or even psychedelics and find our the root reasons of these? 

Or you think that aspect of your psyche can't change? Do you want it to change at all? I mean, being okay with being alone. 

Anyways, good luck with finding a right partner.