Are You Aligned In Life?

[Zenterus]

@Miguel1

The more I learn about you the more I see that we're kindred spirits (no homo). I'm an ENFJ myself, actually.

I personally dont feel like people here are attacking you. It seems to me that they're basically saying "just be yourself" in a way that comes across very socially uncalibrated lol. Remember, most people on this forum dont have the social reps that we have under our belts, so they lack real high quality social/dating experience and finesse.

As far as the loneliness aspect is concerned, I would encourage you to contemplate what inner need is being fulfilled for you when you do socialize. What are you missing when you're alone? I suspect the root need is deeper than just not being lonely.

If you can identify it/them, you can perhaps work on giving it to yourself.

For example, for many years, the reason I was so addicted to women was because women provided a sense of adventure in my life that I needed. But when I started taking myself out on solo adventures, the desire to outsource that to a woman faded.

If its intimacy that you crave, you can also give that to yourself. And i dont mean by fapping lol. Like real emotional intimacy with yourself, where you treat yourself as if you're your own best friend, where you listen and trust and show real love to yourself, like how someone who really loves you would.

But first, you have to identify what the need underneath it all is.

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Zenterus

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I would be questioning my own ability to filter "high consciousness" people from "low consciousness" people. I would consider my own arrogance in making that judgement and on what markers or parameters I make the distinction.

I might investigate if I am my own bad filter, removing out opportunity to truly see high consciousness in another. 

But that's me.

[Miguel1]

44 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Just out of curiosity, how many spiritual women have you been in a proper relationship with ?

Depends on what you mean by spiritual, I would say zero. I don’t even know where I would bump into them, other than retreats, which would not be a place to meet women.

[Jirh]

@Natasha Tori Maru It rarely lands well when there's little receptivity. Maybe this is more of a venting outlet.

[Wilhelm44]

32 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Depends on what you mean by spiritual, I would say zero. I don’t even know where I would bump into them, other than retreats, which would not be a place to meet women.

First of all, let go of this idea that there aren't any hot spiritual women out there.

Sooth the statistical mind with this fact, there have never been more spiritually minded women on the planet than right now. 

(And the numbers will just keep growing.)

If you're in a city or even a town, my guess is there will be many spiritual type events which you haven't checked out yet.

Meditations groups where everyone gets to discuss spiritual topics is great for starting conversations during a coffee break.

Spiritual festivals, philosophy discussion groups, yoga classes, breathing groups, tantra classes, I mean the list goes on.

And don't look down on spiritual dating sites either. https://www.datingnews.com/daters-pulse/best-spiritual-dating-sites/

 

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Wilhelm44

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Jirh some shit can be just hard over text in general. I had a horrible bomb like that thrown at me from an ex who called me a selfish, entitled child for floating through life on privilige. He was right. But it hurt so much I wouldn't allow the message to be received. 

And because it was from an ex, I didn't trust the source. But it was accurate.

Edited 3 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Jirh]

@Natasha Tori Maru Ouch! That had to hurt, regardless of whether it was true or not 

Regarding this thread, I don't know if my perspective is the right one for him right now. I said my piece, was met with rejection, so the ball is in his court now. He can make whatever he wants of it.

At least I demonstrated how 100% authenticity is not a problem. So that's a seed planted, hopefully.

Edited 3 hours ago by Jirh

[Sugarcoat]

16 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Authentic here? Or authentic socializing?

Here I am being 100% authentic.

100% authentic with normies is a social suicide, as leo made a blogpost about recently.

I try to be as authentic as possible but there is no way I can be 100% authentic. Perhaps 75-85% max.

I mean out there socializing. If you dont even feel like you could connect at the depth you want to with the "normies", why are you even bothered with meeting those people? If you feel they can't give you what you desire from connections, it should be easier in a way to be "authentic" because you're not risking losing anything there by them potentially disliking you. It sounds like you actually are attached to connecting with those people, so thats why you are afraid of being fully authentic, because you fear losing that connection to them, or something. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Wilhelm44]

@Miguel1  Just make a complete switch in focus from normies to spiritual women.

Ultimately you don't want to be in a romantic relationship with a normie.

 

[Miguel1]

14 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I mean out there socializing. If you dont even feel like you could connect at the depth you want to with the "normies", why are you even bothered with meeting those people? If you feel they can't give you what you desire from connections, it should be easier in a way to be "authentic" because you're not risking losing anything there by them potentially disliking you. It sounds like you actually are attached to connecting with those people, so thats why you are afraid of being fully authentic, because you fear losing that connection to them, or something. 

The reasoning behind that is ”shallow connection” is better than no connection.

As I said, my natural extrovertness craves socializing and intimacy with other humans. It’s hard to be a loner.

The other reasoning is that I’m happy with someone I can be mostly authentic with, I don’t expect 100% as that is unrealistic.

[Miguel1]

17 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

@Miguel1  Just make a complete switch in focus from normies to spiritual women.

Ultimately you don't want to be in a romantic relationship with a normie.

It’s not like these authentically spiritual women (not spiritual by-passers) are everywhere.

I don’t bump into them anywhere really but perhaps I need to stop doing nightlife and go to art galleries and museums instead.

[Wilhelm44]

1 minute ago, Miguel1 said:

It’s not like these authentically spiritual women (not spiritual by-passers) are everywhere.

I don’t bump into them anywhere really but perhaps I need to stop doing nightlife and go to art galleries and museums instead.

I'm not saying you should stop doing anything.

But if you want to meet a beautiful witch, go pub crawling to all the spiritual hotspots.

Not museums Jesus lol. It doesn't need to be boring, think festivals etc. Have fun bro 

[Miguel1]

10 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

I'm not saying you should stop doing anything.

But if you want to meet a beautiful witch, go pub crawling to all the spiritual hotspots.

Not museums Jesus lol. It doesn't need to be boring, think festivals etc. Have fun bro 

Yeah, museums are quite boring.

I don’t live in the US, I live in the Northern Europe, spirituality is not very big here. And the spiritual events I’ve been to, I find a lot of bypassers there.

[Wilhelm44]

2 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Yeah, museums are quite boring.

I don’t live in the US, I live in the Northern Europe, spirituality is not very big here. And the spiritual events I’ve been to, I find a lot of bypassers there.

I'm curious, which country ?

[Wilhelm44]

@Miguel1  What exactly do you mean by bypassers ?

[Miguel1]

@Wilhelm44 Finland.

Hippies for example. Spirituality without proper responsibility is just escapism.

[Wilhelm44]

5 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

@Wilhelm44 Finland.

Hippies for example. Spirituality without proper responsibility is just escapism.

So then, where would you go to meet spiritual people who are also responsible ?

Maybe spiritual entrepreneur Meetup groups. 

Focus on what you want, and then go where you think they might be.

God damn bro, Finland, ur blessed !

 

[Elliott]

2 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

 which would not be a place to meet women.

Meet them to make friends, not to 'pick them up'.

[Joshe]

Listen mate, some people are beating around the bush and being nice with you and careful to not dose you too hard. What they really want to say is your ego is so strong that it’s on the nose - it’s so obvious, and yet you’re blind to it. 

But it’s all good. We all go through this. Especially in our 20s. It is a gift to have it pointed out, else you might carry your ego into the next few decades. 

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Joshe said:

What they really want to say is your ego is so strong that it’s on the nose - it’s so obvious, and yet you’re blind to it. 

I don’t think many of them are beating around the bush. It’s mostly quite directly communicated.

But none of them has yet to say how exactly is my ego behaving in such a way. And neither have you, which makes me question the point of you bringing it up.

I see a pattern though: the few people here who can relate and agree with me, are people who actually go out and approach.