I broke up (part 2)

[Asia P]

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Edited 5 hours ago by Asia P

[LordFall]

I'm glad you thought about it and elaborated. Sometimes I feel crazy for saying that most relationships are mediocre but this is basically what I'm talking about. If you can't talk to your partner about serious topics is it even a partner or some sort of codependent human that's attached to you? Communication skills and emotional intelligence are like the two most important parts of a relationship with the attraction part as the third key. 

Sex is one thing that is important but not like life endangering, what about money talks? A lot of couples that end up married can't talk about budgeting and how they're gonna pay for rents and the kids without one of the partners blowing up at the other.

Most humans are very underdeveloped and sensitive meaning that if you point out their flaws they freak out and antagonize you instead of being open to learning and getting better. I think it's even more important as a woman to vet your partner and have high standards because well that dude is eventually gonna knock you up and you're gonna spend 9 months pregnant and then have to raise a child with him. A man can perhaps afford to be a bit less selective but fuck I would not want to get knocked up by the majority of dudes out there that would be a nightmare lol. 

If I were you I'd go on Reddit and read through the relationship advice subreddits and just see what other people's relationships are like. It's hard to know the deep down details of your friends or family relationships but Reddit is great they put all of the flaws of their relationship out there and you realize most of them are terrible. I've read hundreds of them thats partly why my relationship goals and standards are so high. There is also the female dating strategies subreddit which is now dead but you can also scroll through the old posts to get a more women-like perspective. 

Also it's good that you're realizing that sex is important to you early on. Most couples and marriages have a pretty bad sex life, to me that's so tragic what are you supposed to enjoy in life if not your own sex life in a committed relationship? 

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/

 

 

Edited 11 hours ago by LordFall

[Julian gabriel]

losing you is hard so he said you cheated when you didn't, like how I said u fantasize about me while with him when u didn't because I was angry at u for not wanting me anymore.

u said he treated u like a princess, but didn't say how

and you said that he called you paranoid when you complained, but only said u felt rejected, do u just mean rejected referring to trying other sexual stuff and because he used addictive pleasure motivated type drugs which damage his body? or is there more ur leaving out that made u feel rejected?
 

hopefully he at least listened enough to try to explore with you why you feel rejected because i guess u don't completely know why

also I'm curious what the woo woo apparently nonexistent issues were, i mean because u didn't say, i don't know if i think he was making sense or not 

 

 

[Schizophonia]

@Asia P Are you trying to lowkey tell us that you've found someone better, that he slept with you before dumping you, and so you're now okay with getting back with your ex so you're not alone?

 

[Julian gabriel]

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

@Asia P Are you trying to lowkey tell us that you've found someone better, that he slept with you before dumping you, and so you're now okay with getting back with your ex so you're not alone?

 

@Schizophonia maybe the guy she slept with was more of a distraction from the pain of the breakup than someone better,

I have done the same thing after a breakup

[Schizophonia]

11 minutes ago, Julian gabriel said:

@Schizophonia maybe the guy she slept with was more of a distraction from the pain of the breakup than someone better,

I have done the same thing after a breakup

What I understand is that she thought her ex was meh, found someone else better, rationalized sleeping with him by saying negative things about her ex even though they were objectively true like his drug addiction, couldn't keep the other guy, and so now she's back with her ex to avoid being alone. Something like that.

What makes me say this is the sheer amount of information, its opacity/heaviness and the fact that it's spread across two posts as if she wanted to convey an idea while feeling guilty—"like a crab" lol—and the fact that she was ready to go back to her ex after all that.

I have no judgment I don't care, I'm just wondering.

Edited 6 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Asia P]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

What I understand is that she thought her ex was meh, found someone else better, rationalized sleeping with him by saying negative things about her ex even though they were objectively true like his drug addiction, couldn't keep the other guy, and so now she's back with her ex to avoid being alone. Something like that.

What makes me say this is the sheer amount of information, its opacity/heaviness and the fact that it's spread across two posts as if she wanted to convey an idea while feeling guilty—"like a crab" lol—and the fact that she was ready to go back to her ex after all that.

I have no judgment I don't care, I'm just wondering.

I actually did not like his addictions, neither found someone better.

but i have a problem with loneliness. and this is true. Im so miserable

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Asia P said:

but i have a problem with loneliness. and this is true. Im so miserable

Do you experience that you’re not attracting what you feel you could? 

[Schizophonia]

7 minutes ago, Asia P said:

I actually did not like his addictions, neither found someone better.

but i have a problem with loneliness. and this is true. Im so miserable

It's normal humans are deeply communist and women in particular like contact, being cuddled etc.

Modernity does not help people to have healthy relationships and by extension the healthiest social behaviors for themselves and others.

Edited 5 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Asia P]

@Sugarcoat

40 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Do you experience that you’re not attracting what you feel you could? 

what do you mean?

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, Asia P said:

@Sugarcoat

what do you mean?

Oh I meant, maybe you have idea in your mind or past experience etc of a kind of guy you’d want and you feel you could attract such guy because you would complement him. But maybe irl nowadays you feel you don’t find those guys in your life so you feel down and lonely, just some thoughts I had, asking if that described how you felt somehow. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Asia P]

23 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Oh I meant, maybe you have idea in your mind or past experience etc of a kind of guy you’d want and you feel you could attract such guy because you would complement him. But maybe irl nowadays you feel you don’t find those guys in your life so you feel down and lonely, just some thoughts I had, asking if that described how you felt somehow. 

In this case, yes, i feel like i can’t attract what i want.