Muslim family wants to find me a wife.

[Raze]

10 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I don't know if this is exactly the case, but according to her family and my uncle, the family is "very strict", and I can't "do anything" until marriage. So she very well might be a virgin, but you never know. Young people are always hiding things from their parents.

I'm not interested though as I met a very nice and liberal (she's not political at all, but very lax attitudes towards life) woman in Europe. She identifies as "asexual" but agreed to date and be in a relationship with me. 

Why would you be in a relationship with an asexual? Do you want a dead bedroom 

[Ramanujan]

@Husseinisdoingfine

On 4/23/2026 at 0:06 AM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I don't know if this is exactly the case, but according to her family and my uncle, the family is "very strict", and I can't "do anything" until marriage. So she very well might be a virgin, but you never know. Young people are always hiding things from their parents.

I'm not interested though as I met a very nice and liberal (she's not political at all, but very lax attitudes towards life) woman in Europe. She identifies as "asexual" but agreed to date and be in a relationship with me. 

yeah good for you

body count matters. the more dudes she fucked , the less chance of marriga success

if she is a virgin , marriage will last by 80%

also the semen from all the guys she fucked, part of it goes into her brain , and when you fuck her and have a kid , that kid is gonna inherit some parts of every dude she fucked. 

 

[Sucuk Ekmek]

21 hours ago, Ramanujan said:

@Husseinisdoingfine

 

also the semen from all the guys she fucked, part of it goes into her brain , and when you fuck her and have a kid , that kid is gonna inherit some parts of every dude she fucked. 

 

This is the textbook for weak masculine identity. 

[Ramanujan]

1 minute ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

This is the textbook for weak masculine identity. 

this is from scientific research

[Sucuk Ekmek]

16 minutes ago, Ramanujan said:

this is from scientific research

 

I don’t have a problem with that.

The same goes for the air we inhale and exhale; it co-creates our biology depending on the humans around us.

It’s just that your cum is no more special than an animal’s

[Ramanujan]

7 minutes ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

 

I don’t have a problem with that.

 

average guy does

 

7 minutes ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

The same goes for the air we inhale and exhale; it co-creates our biology depending on the humans around us.

not the same thing

 

7 minutes ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

 

 

It’s just that your cum is no more special than an animal’s

i care a lot whether  my kids inherits parts of every dude she fucked .

[Raze]

1 hour ago, Ramanujan said:

this is from scientific research

None of that is backed up by science 

[Ramanujan]

Just now, Raze said:

None of that is backed up by science 

yes it is

[Raze]

2 hours ago, Ramanujan said:

yes it is

No it isn’t. No study finds 80% increase in marriage stability if they are a Virgin and the DNA thing was from a study about flies, not humans. 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

My family is getting more serious about finding me a wife, and I recently received a phone call from my Uncle saying that they had already found me a wife, and that I'm schedule to meet with her soon. I spoke to her father over the phone, and he said that if I get married, they'll start to teach me all about Islam and such. 

I'm wondering if this is a good idea. One part of me is considering that this is a good idea because it would involve no effort on my part, as in no need to learn how to date, attract a partner, or do pickup. I just have to meet this woman, see if I like her, and maybe we'll hit it off.

But another part of me is rejecting this because I view this as a betrayal of my values. The thing with this woman is that she is some sort of Muslim. If I get married to a Muslim, she and her family will try to rub off her values onto me and try to make me a Muslim. I feel as if this would be antithetical to the values I built up over the years watching Actualized.org videos, going on meditation retreats, and reading spiritual books. 

I'm so confused right now. Are married people happy? @Leo Gura Do you personally feel as if you missed out on happiness because you never got married or had children? I don't know why I'm even considering this. I think its because the cultural forces of my Arab family are pressuring me to conform, but I'm wondering if it will make me happy.

Edited 8 hours ago by Husseinisdoingfine

[enchanted]

On 19/04/2026 at 5:48 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

So a while ago, I posted this.

 

Welp, they're back.

My Aunt has been insistent on finding me a "nice Lebanese wife", because she wants for me to marry a woman who is a practicing Shia Muslim, as well as is Lebanese. I received a phone call from my Uncle that apparently they found a woman for me. She's a 100% Lebanese woman who works at some sort of health clinic. 

This woman's parents and family are very strict about religion and so my Uncle said that I was not allowed to "do anything" (have sex, kiss, etc...) until marriage. But they want to set me up and schedule with her family (not with her, her family) to have me meet with her with the supervision of her parents. We are both in our 20's.

Of course I declined and said I was not romantically interested, but I later agreed to meet with her as friends.

I'm sharing this because for you westerners, white people, and Americans, this is completely out of the ordinary for you all. 

Finding a spouse is a long and tedious chore. Consider yourself lucky you don't have to go through the hassle of finding someone yourself and you can focus on doing consciousness work instead. If arranged marriages were so bad then the millions of arranged couples would be miserable. However studies show that arranged marriages actually produce happier couples and obviously less divorce too which is a very unhappy thing to go through. 

All women are generally the same and all men are too. It doesn't really matter who you end up with as the human mind is malleable and people adapt to suit each other over time. Focus on being a conscious partner in your relationship and lead your family to be the best version of themselves no matter what level of consciousness they start from. 

Edited 13 hours ago by enchanted

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, enchanted said:

If arranged marriages were so bad then the millions of arranged couples would be miserable. However studies show that arranged marriages actually produce happier couples and obviously less divorce too which is a very unhappy thing to go through.

Could part of it be that when you don't come from the perspective of "finding the right one" or going by your likes or dislikes as much, that when you're in the relationship, you don't sabotage it with these expectations and you're already going into it in a more accepting and less entitled way?

[Sandhu]

@Husseinisdoingfine You feel excitement about the prospect so it's bothering you but there should be no confusion for you as you yourself have laid out clearly that your core values differ from her.

I'd even suggest maintaining distance from your family. (If u serious about Truth-seeking).

[enchanted]

7 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Could part of it be that when you don't come from the perspective of "finding the right one" or going by your likes or dislikes as much, that when you're in the relationship, you don't sabotage it with these expectations and you're already going into it in a more accepting and less entitled way?

That is very likely a big reason. Non-arranged couples could borrow some of this advice to make their relationships be more fulfilling and last longer too.