How do I change my identity?

[ted73104]

You can't think or train yourself to grow a different set of default habits directly. Just like you said that James Clear stuff is straight up bullshit, I don't believe that would work long term for anyone.

If you want to develop a genuine set of habits, you need to first expand your range of life experiences. For example, I used to be a very negative and low energy guy. I would just lock myself at home during the weekend and have fun video gaming or netflixing. Then I forced myself to try different things cause I knew I had to change. One of the hobbies that stuck with me was soccer, in which we played twice per week for three hours straight each time. At first a bunch of muscles in my leg and foot felt sore after each game and I was totally exhausted. However the group of people I played with gave me a very competitive vibe, because I did enjoy this sport. Eventually I didn't feel as tired although I was sprinting for most of the three hours. This type of exercise lifted up my inner frequency and I didn't feel as low energy as often as I was before. So I didn't crave to porn, video games, and netflix series that much anymore.

I also forced myself into other different social circles, like playing Texas poker and going to these live roleplaying game meetup groups. I met and became friends with a bunch of people I didn't know and wasn't necessarily interesting to me at first. But this type of hobby gradually allowed me to appreciate and enjoy events with different types of people. And gradually through these types of totally non-related activities with the goals I had in mind, I got better at my job and also with girls because I was more calm and could think more consciously.

Seems like the path towards Truth is full of twists and turns.

[Lyubov]

@HopefulMan Many things. It doesn’t quiet make sense when you’re looking at it from a place of really wanting everything to be different, because usually when we want to change something about ourselves the intention behind it is coming from old childish falsehoods. So I think it’s not so much been a journey to change myself but more so shed the lies and falsehoods. That in and of itself brings about all sorts of really subtle but life changing experiences. You will start to think more clearly, feel grateful for your life, be happy that you are who you are, unique as you are.

[Ulax]

@HopefulMan Thanks bro  All best to you

[Hayato]

There is no special magic trick, no "how". If you know what you want to do just do it.