How do I change my identity?

[HopefulMan]

Hi everyone! Let me start by defining what I mean by "identity":

Identity = automatic and effortless behavior, and resistance to a different behavior (normally harder or less comfortable)

Right now there are a few traits I don't like about myself: doomscrolling, not enough contemplation, lots of TV shows, too many sweets, etc.

I'd like to become someone who naturally prefers slower living, who has goals and actually follows through on them.

How do you go from being one kind of person to another?

From what I can observe, when people say "be disciplined", they don't really follow that advice. It's usually people who take action not because they want to, or because they can force themselves, but because they're running from something in their minds: looking lazy, not looking smart, status, etc.

Is it gonna be a constant struggle against passions/instincts, or can we really change and just struggle from time to time with "bad" behavior because we're human?

Thanks!

[YIDIRYIDIR]

Better call Saul my friend. He knows a guy who knows a guy. but there's no coming back from this. and seems like you'll need the deluxe service, he'll give you a number, call it and say "I need a dust filter for a Hoover Max Extract Pressure‑Pro, Model 60."
seriously though, 
what i found works for me best is rather than constructing an identity, i instead construct and anti-identity. it's hard to get clarity and know exactly who do you want to be and act like, but it's way easier and clear to know who you don't want to be. it acts as a reference point. 

this works for several principles about human psychology and behavior:

• We're wired for survival, not for happiness and alignment, so instead aligning with an identity, try surviving against one. 
• Negativity bias: we react more to problems, negative stuff, anti-goals rather than aspirational stuff.
• The enemy effect: we're more likely to take action against an enemy than towards some ideal (this is used in war, politics, branding...)
• Cognitive dissonance: acting in ways that your anti-identity avatar would act like creates tension, pushing you to adjust behavior to reduce it. the mind hates that shit.
• Contrast effect: we constantly perceive ourselves in contrast to something else, that's why we constantly compare ourselves to others, judge and criticize the fuck out of anything. 
• Disgust as Behavioral Deterrent (as long as we do it consciously): We’re wired to steer clear of anything that feels gross or wrong, so seeing something disgusting makes us way less likely to do it ourselves. for example, when you see someone who constantly complains and acts like a victim, and you either consciously or unconsciously feel disgusted and disappointed, you are more likely to never do the same. 

Same thing for constructing a vision, when one is not clear on a vision for the future, constructing an anti-vision gets you there faster and gets you moving.