How to approach online game consciously?

[Ulax]

With pickup I've always found most of the teachers to be corrupt. Not necessarily in terms of the effectiveness of what they teach, but the ethicalness. I really value Leo's How to get Laid series because of this. It helps me how to think about pickup in a conscious way.

However, with online dating, I'm not aware of Leo producing content on this. I understand one way to get good would be to buy a product from someone who has studied the percentages of what gets results. However, again they don't talk about what is ethical, or a healthy way to approach it, its just seemingly "DO WHAT WORKS".

So, I'd like some perspectives on how to approach online dating consciously. (I want to do it alongside irl stuff) 

[Oppositionless]

I guess it's about balancing attractiveness with authenticity. I min-maxed a bit but I'm also naturally attractive and ended up with 60 matches and over 150 likes in a week, but only one person who was interesting to talk to . And they live 12 hours away (I was using tinder on a family reunion).

I'd much rather meet a girl through hobby groups than online or at a bar, both those environments attract a lot of low consciousness people. Also I notice using OLD degrades the quality of my consciousness, more so than going to a bar or even more than watching porn.

Edited Tuesday at 10:59 PM by Oppositionless

[Ulax]

@Oppositionless I get you. Thank you for your response.

[Tenebroso]

11 hours ago, Oppositionless said:

Also I notice using OLD degrades the quality of my consciousness, more so than going to a bar or even more than watching porn.

I would be interested in hearing more about this. Elaborate if you can.

[Leo Gura]

There is nothing to do in online dating.

If your looks are good you will get matches and dates, otherwise you won't. End of story.

[something_else]

I've posted this in a few online dating threads, but if you need a rough template to follow for a solid dating profile here is my advice for building a solid profile:

Quote

Let's assume you have 6 pics to fill up on Hinge/Bumble (probably the best two dating apps in most places) then a good template for a profile is something like this:

• Pic 1: Professional or high quality photo of yourself with a clear view of your face (this should be the only staged pic, the rest should be natural or it will likely end up look like a LinkedIn profile unless you really know what you're doing)
• Pic 2: Full body shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 3: Group pic where you look confident and sociable
• Pic 4: Another shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 5: Another group shot where you look confident and sociable, ideally with a different group of people
• Pic 6: Cute/funny/hot pic, basically a wildcard photo where you can express some personality, humour, or show off more of your good looks if you have them. If you have a nice body, show it off here but in a non-douchey way e.g. a beach pic

Bio/prompts should be something short and witty, and they should encourage a girl to swipe right or ask you about something. It helps if the bio ties into one of your pics. In my case I have a pic of me holding a giant rat in my profile and my bio is "Yes that's a giant rat I'm holding, it's a cool story and you should ask me about it"

You don't have to follow this template exactly, but it's a solid starting point.

 

[Valach]

19 minutes ago, something_else said:

I've posted this in a few online dating threads, but if you need a rough template to follow for a solid dating profile here is my advice for building a solid profile:

 

Dang. Like this a great advice, but it then it makes me feel so artificial to curate a profile in such a way.

[something_else]

6 minutes ago, Valach said:

Dang. Like this a great advice, but it then it makes me feel so artificial to curate a profile in such a way.

Yea, I do get that. It helps if you get into the habit of taking photos of your life a bit more regularly, not just specifically for online dating

[Valach]

Yeah, that is the thing. Like I am sociable person and in a way do all these things you mention. But I just never take any photos. All the photos I have from last couple of years are just photos my gfs took of me. And I don't really like using those.

Edited yesterday at 01:16 PM by Valach

[Oppositionless]

8 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I would be interested in hearing more about this. Elaborate if you can.

Cause it's the grossest form of late stage capitalism , human chattel. If you don't get matches you feel like shit. If you get matches, you get an ego boost but still end up feeling like shit because of how shallow it is.

Just level up your social life and learn to approach, is my advice .

Edited yesterday at 05:58 PM by Oppositionless

[Ulax]

On 01/04/2026 at 10:36 AM, Leo Gura said:

There is nothing to do in online dating.

If your looks are good you will get matches and dates, otherwise you won't. End of story.

I've seen that isn't true. If you follow advice from people who have performed de facto scientific studies on what works on the apps, i.e. best openers, you can get significantly improved results. I tried one new opener recently, and started getting significantly more matches. That alone disproves your claim.

But people do seem to say I am a little bit above average lookswise. Emphasis on the little bit. So I understand it may be different for less physically attractive. But seems irrational to me to think that min-maxxing how you approach the apps even as less attractive wouldn't make a difference. 

[Ulax]

On 01/04/2026 at 6:23 PM, Oppositionless said:

Cause it's the grossest form of late stage capitalism , human chattel. If you don't get matches you feel like shit. If you get matches, you get an ego boost but still end up feeling like shit because of how shallow it is.

Just level up your social life and learn to approach, is my advice .

I definitely get where you're coming from with the shallowness stuff, and the grossness of it.

Apps have helped me get a significant amount more dating experience though. And that I have found really valuable.

[Miguel1]

What the hell is min maxing?

I don’t enjoy online dating because it is extra shallow. Meeting new women is not that exciting for me nowadays but if I am to do it, then real life for sure.

I can screen her for her energy and character much faster that way.

Also, no catfishing.

Edited 4 hours ago by Miguel1

[CARDOZZO]

This is my personal theory on online dating (Tinder) - Try it for yourself:

Quote

As I mentioned before, this is just an experiment to test some hypotheses. We'll run the experiment with no expectations of getting dates.

The goal is to get matches and make the algorithm recommend your profile to more people over a long time. Whether women will go out with you or not is a matter of how you handle them after the match.

1. If you have an account, delete it. If you don't have one, create a new one. You won't need a premium account. I want you to make a free account and not spend any money.
2. Write only your first name.
3. Photos: You need to be genuine, real and honest. I want you to use 9 photos. Put two photos of yourself (decent ones, no need for professional photos. Be minimally groomed, whether it's a selfie or something somewhat polished.) The other 7 photos will be of your hobbies, books, interests, memes, curiosities about you. You don't need to appear in the other 7 photos. I use photos of books, places I've been, personal artifacts (moon lamp), photos I've taken. Show your hobbies and personality beyond your personal photos.
4. Description: Write about your college degree/profession if applicable, talk about your passions related to the photos. (examples: I like to meditate, run, travel, meet new people, sing at karaoke, skate, etc.)
5. Write the city where you live.
6. Use a photo of a hobby or your favorite book as the main photo. Don't put your face photo as the main one. The idea is to intrigue women, show that you're different and not playing the beauty game. You're offering something different and unique. You're being 100% vulnerable, showing your hobbies, tastes, lifestyle, what you really find interesting beyond beauty.
7. Set the maximum distance and age range. (Remember, this is an experiment. The idea is to make the algorithm see you as someone worth showing to the maximum number of people.)
8. Like all women, ALL of them. Regardless of beauty or age. We want to test how far your profile can go with these tips. Don't judge. Don't judge. Just follow the experiment. You DON'T need to talk to the women you don't find interesting.
9. Talk with woman you really like.
10. Share your results here.

Just to clarify. I did 4 accounts doing the same steps mentioned. I got +90 matches in all of them with different girls. Yes, +360 matches.

 

Edited 4 hours ago by CARDOZZO

[Oppositionless]

14 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

What the hell is min maxing?

I don’t enjoy online dating because it is extra shallow. Meeting new women is not that exciting for me nowadays but if I am to do it, then real life for sure.

I can screen her for her energy and character much faster that way.

Also, no catfishing.

Lmao it comes from video games . Minimizing your weaknesses and maximizing your strengths. 

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

Lmao it comes from video games . Minimizing your weaknesses and maximizing your strengths. 

It comes from computer science.

[Oppositionless]

2 minutes ago, Valach said:

It comes from computer science.

It comes from both .

[Ulax]

18 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

What the hell is min maxing?

Hahaha guess you're not a degen gamer miguel  

I just use min-maxing in the sense of maximising your win percentage in things. For example, through levelling up your skills. 

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Oppositionless said:

It comes from both .

It comes from game theory, which was created long before the modern games and is a subset of applied mathematics (which is computer science basically). Yes, it popularized now because of the games but the term existed long before the modern RPGs etc. 

[CARDOZZO]

Sir. Von Neumann entered the chat.