I easily get into fights with people who trigger me

[LordFall]

Anger is usually caused by being powerless. So take responsibility and increase your agency and power over your life otherwise you will always be angry and lash out.

How is your money situation? It probably sucks if you're stuck in your parents house. So really you're only at your inability to make money. Not your parents nor anybody else. If you made more money you could put yourself in whatever environment you want to and remove any outside stressor.

So stop blaming other people and other situations that don't have to do with your ability to become free i.e. your financial independence. 

If you feel like a trapped animal in your life of course you're occasionally gonna lash out and hurt others or yourself in frustration. 

[Shermaningeorgia]

5 hours ago, Someone here said:

I don’t hate people. I’m not angry and grumpy all the time nor is it my default. I’m actually a very nice guy . I never started a fight with anyone. 
I always wish to live in peace but The world is not peaceful. most people are not peaceful..at least in my life . That’s the issue . 

I didn't say you hate people. I said you seemingly, based on my intepretation of your post, that you don't tolerate others' differences.

[Carl-Richard]

Take some glycine or something. Something verbal should rarely ever escalate to something physical. If it does and you didn't want it to happen, it's a problem with you and your emotional regulation. Go speak to someone.

[Someone here]

19 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

They didn't cause the rage. You did.

this is empirically false .

If a person shouted at you or called you names you will immediately experience a hot sensation in your body and you will experience unease in your body and your temperature will increase .

[Someone here]

18 hours ago, Lyubov said:

You need to vow to yourself you will never hit your sister again and

Nothing of this ilk will ever work for obvious reasons which I don’t want to say to not come off as a smartarse.

[Someone here]

17 hours ago, Basman said:

Walk away and remove yourself from the situation if someone is being belligerent. It's very effective at ending a conversation non-violently.

But then you will be perceived as a passive weak person and this will make you more prone to getting attacked by others .

[Someone here]

17 hours ago, LordFall said:

Anger is usually caused by being powerless. So take responsibility and increase your agency and power over your life otherwise you will always be angry and lash out.

How is your money situation? It probably sucks if you're stuck in your parents house. So really you're only at your inability to make money. Not your parents nor anybody else. If you made more money you could put yourself in whatever environment you want to and remove any outside stressor.

So stop blaming other people and other situations that don't have to do with your ability to become free i.e. your financial independence. 

If you feel like a trapped animal in your life of course you're occasionally gonna lash out and hurt others or yourself in frustration. 

And in the meantime?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

44 minutes ago, Someone here said:

this is empirically false .

If a person shouted at you or called you names you will immediately experience a hot sensation in your body and you will experience unease in your body and your temperature will increase .

You might react, have an emotion. But you choose to respond and choose what you let govern your response.  It's a choice. 

Someone yelled at me in the manner you describe today, I did not have any such reaction. I chose not to respond. I did not immediately experience the sensations you describe. Or at all. 

Again. How you respond is within your control. 

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

You might react, have an emotion. But you choose to respond and choose what you let govern your response.  

It’s not “might “. If negative energy is directed at you then you will experience a negative emotion.this is like Newton’s third law. It’s really not under your control here. It’s physiological and more so physical.
then you say “ but your response is up to you”..yeah sure I’m asking about this :  when someone hurts me ..if I fight with with people I regret it because I don’t want to hurt anyone and if I turned the other cheek I will get shat upon and used to.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, Someone here said:

It’s not “might “. If negative energy is directed at you then you will experience a negative emotion.this is like Newton’s third law. It’s really not under your control here. It’s physiological and more so physical.
then you say “ but your response is up to you”..yeah sure I’m asking about this :  when someone hurts me ..if I fight with with people I regret it because I don’t want to hurt anyone and if I turned the other cheek I will get shat upon and used to.

No. Not always will you experience a negative emotion. You are projecting your experience and erasing the varied and myriad expressions of human reaction. Not everyone reacts the same. You know this.

Bolded by me is the limiting false belief that needs to be investigated. Will you get shat on? Question this. Used to? Question this. 

You asked for help. If you want to carry on ignoring answers and insisting you already have them, then I have nothing to pass on because your questions is rhetorical. Why ask if you insist on your own conclusions and answers?

Edited 11 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

No. Not always will you experience a negative emotion. You are projecting your experience and erasing the varied and myriad expressions of human reaction. Not everyone reacts the same. You know this.

Bolded by me is the limiting false belief that needs to be investigated. Will you get shat on? Question this. Used to? Question this. 

You asked for help. If you want to carry on ignoring answers and insisting you already have them, then I have nothing to pass on because your questions is rhetorical. Why ask if you insist on your own conclusions and answers?

I’m not writing off the answers just because. I’m not just looking for an answer . I’m looking for an answer that makes sense to me. Your answer doesn’t make sense to me. You deny the bodily irritation you experience when a person hurt you verbally or physically. Are you a tree ?

[Ramasta9]

This may help... 

[Basman]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

But then you will be perceived as a passive weak person and this will make you more prone to getting attacked by others .

It's pretty effective in my experience. When a conversation is no longer going anywhere walking away tells people your not going to waste your time. Walking away makes it so that they can't attack you then and there. 

I've only experienced things working out when I did this. Your starving them of their toxicity. 

Edited 11 hours ago by Basman

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, Basman said:

It's pretty effective in my experience. When a conversation is no longer going anywhere walking away tells people your not going to waste your time. Walking away makes it so that they can't attack you then and there. 

I've only experienced things working out when I did this. Your starving them of their toxicity. 

I can understand it as if you smile or laugh  at someone who insults you as a sign of showing them their insignificance ?

[Basman]

11 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I can understand it as if you smile or laugh  at someone who insults you as a sign of showing them their insignificance ?

No, that's weird. You don't have to put on a facade. Just ignore and remove yourself from them.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 hours ago, Someone here said:

I’m not writing off the answers just because. I’m not just looking for an answer . I’m looking for an answer that makes sense to me. Your answer doesn’t make sense to me. You deny the bodily irritation you experience when a person hurt you verbally or physically. Are you a tree ?

You misunderstand. I don't deny that. 

My claim is the response can be controlled, not the reaction. There's a big distinction there. If you haven't realised it my posts won't make sense.

[Basman]

@Someone here It's probably not the case that anyone, let alone your sister, are trying to break you. It's very rare actually that anyone has that much interest in someone else like that. People just be acting out sometimes. It's simpler and less drama to clearly communicate and/or remove yourself from a person than it is to beat them up. When you beat someone up they will never forget it. They are more likely to forget an argument though.

Beating a little girl isn't the chad move either no matter how annoying she is. Losing your temper like that is going to stain your self-esteem.

[Ulax]

Get away from your sister. Move out.

You can't control yourself to not abuse her, and there is no excuse for it.

There is a way forward. But you need to stay away from her.

Go to anger management classes, or do therapy.

Edited 1 hour ago by Ulax

[Ulax]

On 31/03/2026 at 5:33 PM, Sincerity said:

Sorry to hear that you relapsed. Best of luck to you.

Not sure relapsed is the right word to use in the case of abusing someone.

[Osaid]

The "triggers" are assumptions. 

Uninspected assumptions. Uninspected because of how it feels.

Fighting and trying to solve is like moving away from the assumption and therein moving away from the feeling, so that it is not inspected and seen as untrue. This allows the continuation of assuming that there is a monster in the closet, and a circular justification that "since I feel this way it must be true that there are monsters living in my closet for me to be angry at". 

The thread is created so that someone can sell you the solution to an assumption. You're looking for something that "makes sense", as in, something that validates the assumption and therein validates the anger. Therefore, any invitation to inspect the anger itself is dismissed.

The solution to Santa Claus would still be the delusion that there is Santa Claus. 

The only thing that can be triggered in you is what is already in you. 

If someone is angry at Santa, does it feel real? Hell yes it feels real. That does not prove the existence of Santa.

There is no way to put up with people, in the same way there is no way to put up with Santa. Anyone selling you the solution is in the same boat as you, right along with Santa.