Sleeping With Some Guy's Wife

[Atb210201]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Anyways.  That's the tradeoff. Maybe you can get the whole thing from marriage.  I just tended to get bored 

I myself want to live a celibate life.

I've had my deep loving relationship with my ex.

I can't allow myself to love anyone else anymore.

And on top of that now I'm fighting to get rid of my sexual urges as well how about that

I know I'm a bit extreme in my approach here to many or maybe all of you.

But I can't help it.

This is the way I want to be.

Edited Sunday at 11:44 PM by Atb210201

[Inliytened1]

9 minutes ago, Atb210201 said:

I myself want to live a celibate life.

I've had my deep loving relationship with my ex.

I can't allow myself to love anyone else anymore.

And on top of that now I'm fighting to get rid of my sexual urges as well how about that

I know I'm a bit extreme in my approach here to many or maybe all of you.

But I can't help it.

This is the way I want to be.

It's good to see you actually.  You were one of the first friends I met on here back in 2018. Remember ?  I remember you.

[Atb210201]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

It's good to see you actually.  You were one of the first friends I met on here back in 2018. Remember ?  I remember you.

I do remember you but I don't think I was here in 2018.

I think I joined 2021 if I'm not mistaken.

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else

But nevertheless I feel acknowledged by your words. Thanks.

I consider you my friend as well.

Edited Sunday at 11:59 PM by Atb210201

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Atb210201 said:

I do remember you but I don't think I was here in 2018.

I think I joined 2021 if I'm not mistaken.

Maybe you are confusing me with someone else

But nevertheless I feel acknowledged by your words. Thanks.

Well you were one of the guys back from the beginning. And you ALWAYS got it. At least we always aligned. And we still do. I loved your post about the Bible I wanted to talk more about that. But we can do that. But..as far as your urges.  We'll. Itch if you see that it needs a scratch..  I'm sorry about your ex but its a new day. 

Edited yesterday at 12:02 AM by Inliytened1

[Atb210201]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

Well you were one of the guys back from the beginning. And you ALWAYS got it. At least we always aligned. And we still do. I loved your post about the Bible I wanted to talk more about that. But we can do that. But..as far as your urges.  We'll. Itch if you see that it needs a scratch..  I'm sorry about your ex but its a new day. 

Thanks man.

It really means a lot to me.

You're really kind.

The feeling is mutual brother.

Yes the Bible is on my to do list and I want to read all of it in time.

Maybe I'll talk about it more after I've read it.

[Thought Art]

Im not into open relationships. I have ADHD. I just want a long term partner.

Edited yesterday at 12:09 AM by Thought Art

[BlessedLion]

On 3/16/2026 at 2:48 AM, Leo Gura said:

It all depends on whether the marriage is serious or not.

If it's a serious marriage, don't do it.

But if the marriage is truly already over, then there's more leeway here.

Some marriages are mostly in name only.

The metric is: don't be the one to break up a solid marriage.

how can you know that though?

Honestly, in my own life i've been having more girls with mongomous boyfriends/husbands suggesting they are open to hook up and i'm tired of turning down those opportunities because i'm trying to be ethical. It feels like it's not really my job to manage

Edited 4 hours ago by BlessedLion

[BlessedLion]

On 3/15/2026 at 8:24 PM, Cred said:

Open relationships is an ADHD thing. If you have ADHD, you are blind to the concept of monogamy.

Some people genuinely can''t do the monogamy thing. It doesn't work for their personality adn sexual prefences. Honestly, if most men knew how to get laid, they would be Poly. They only go for monogamy because it gives them consistent sex which they can't get without comiting to one woman

[BlessedLion]

@Cred By your logic then King Solomon, Montezuma, Julius Ceaser, Genghis Khan and literally every other great conquerer and king had ADHD, LOL

[Valach]

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

Some people genuinely can''t do the monogamy thing. It doesn't work for their personality adn sexual prefences. Honestly, if most men knew how to get laid, they would be Poly. They only go for monogamy because it gives them consistent sex which they can't get without comiting to one woman

I don't think that is true. I have also met a lot of men who developed sex and validation addiction and then thought that their "nature" is to be poly or just promiscous. The men I have met who really went through a healing journey usually ended up way more solitary and either went for mono relationships or just stayed single.

 

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

@Cred By your logic then King Solomon, Montezuma, Julius Ceaser, Genghis Khan and literally every other great conquerer and king had ADHD, LOL

Well these individuals were also not really healthy, I mean some of them literally caused death of millions of people. I have no clue about ADHD thing but I would not look up to them.

Edited 3 hours ago by Valach

[BlessedLion]

1 hour ago, Valach said:

I don't think that is true. I have also met a lot of men who developed sex and validation addiction and then thought that their "nature" is to be poly or just promiscous. The men I have met who really went through a healing journey usually ended up way more solitary and either went for mono relationships or just stayed single.

 

Well these individuals were also not really healthy, I mean some of them literally caused death of millions of people. I have no clue about ADHD thing but I would not look up to them.

Appreciate your takes. For sure, I think when a man is ready he can definitely go mono in a healthy way. But i also think some people not just men, lean more towards a poly preference. 

 

Have you heard of the chimps versus bonobos? Both are our ancestors in the ape lineage and they have wildly different sexual preferences. I think some people are like chimps and some are like bonobos in that sense. 

Sure, they killed people, but they also lived in a time where that was the norm/ level of development. I'm not saying they were saints but this is a discussion about sexuality and the claim that men who have multiple partners are ADHD is pretty wild

[something_else]

3 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

I'm not saying they were saints but this is a discussion about sexuality and the claim that men who have multiple partners are ADHD is pretty wild

It's probably not that insane. I reckon there's a high overlap between ADHD and having lots of partners. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. There's also nothing wrong with it either.

[Schizophonia]

You have to bite off more than you can chew to claim to be polygamous, or have too much free time, money lol, and especially little attachment, little depth in your approach to people and things.

Sometimes there is ideological indoctrination; either rather left-wing postmodern, or rather right-wing MIGTOW, personal development, pick up etc.

Generally they end up promoting the third world, especially Southeast Asia or South America, because Western women (people in general) are more intelligent or at least “more in their prefrontal cortex” in general, and do not like things to go too fast, like to share long-term activities, are generally more “naive” etc.

Do you want to move towards a frequency of wealth or a more primitive one. It's the hidden question behind all this. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Schizophonia

[Valach]

44 minutes ago, something_else said:

It's probably not that insane. I reckon there's a high overlap between ADHD and having lots of partners. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. There's also nothing wrong with it either.

I think the phrase "there's nothing wrong with it" is actually where this gets complicated.

In the spiritual/non-dual sense, sure. You can ultimately say there is nothing inherently "wrong" with almost any human behavior. But that's a very different question from whether a behavior comes from wholeness, or whether it's functioning as a way of regulating something unresolved within you.

You could equally say there is "nothing wrong" with taking drugs. I'm not interested in morally condemning someone for doing drugs. But that doesn't mean drug use can't function as a coping mechanism. And if you're continually regulating an underlying feeling through the drug, one of the costs is that you may never actually encounter and resolve whatever is driving the need for it.

I think sexuality can work similarly.

I don't know enough about the research to say whether ADHD actually correlates with having more sexual partners, although I've heard the claim before and I can see why things like novelty/reward seeking could potentially contribute to it.

But this is also why I'm skeptical when people say, "That's simply who I am. I prefer lots of sexual partners."

Maybe. But how do you actually know?

What we experience as a "preference" can sometimes be the particular way our system has learned to regulate itself. Novelty, sex, being desired, conquest, romantic intensity, etc. can all make you feel extremely good temporarily. It's therefore very easy to incorporate the behavior into your identity: "I'm just a highly sexual person," "I'm naturally polyamorous," "I need novelty," etc.

But if you resolved the underlying anxiety, insecurity, trauma, validation-seeking, or whatever else might be driving the behavior, and your default state became much more peaceful and fulfilled, would you still want the same thing to the same degree?

Maybe you would. In that case, perhaps it really is simply a preference. But you might also discover that much of what you considered your personality was actually regulation.

That's basically my disagreement with the idea that because something feels like a preference and isn't morally wrong, it must therefore represent some authentic part of "who you are." Sometimes what feels most like "me" is simply a coping strategy I've been running for so long that I can no longer distinguish it from myself.

Partially a reaction to @BlessedLion as well. I suck at quoting here

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Valach