On women settling for average men

[LordFall]

This is a great post to read, it's about a guy who makes good money who overheard his fiancee talking about settling for him and not being that attracted to him but it works it's fine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1rmhy5c/wibtah_if_i_left_my_fiancee_destitute/

I don't think this is something to be too concerned about if you have some decent self-awareness but it's a good example of why learning game and seduction is really important to have a high quality relationship. Otherwise it's very likely that if your partner questions herself if she hasn't already she'll just find you okay but because she's in scarcity like most humans she'll go with it to have a family and a decent standard of living. 

You can be a fun and exciting guy that learns to flirt with his girlfriend that has shit shit together it's not that hard even though a lot(probably most men) seem to fall short. Level up and become a world class man, I believe in you boys you got this.

This subreddit is one of the best ones on all of Reddit as it lets you learn vicariously from other real people's experiences. 

This relates to my other post on most men having no idea how low level they are; this guy just found the easy way actually. The hard way is when your girl actually cheats you and dumps you in a time of weakness.

 

Edited 22 hours ago by LordFall

[Valach]

This is just fear based behaviour, it is not really healthy. Game is also not as foundational to healthy relationship dynamics as you would think. Been there, done that.

[Hojo]

Men dont understand how often woman shit talk their husbands behind their back. I work with many woman and they are constantly doing it. Its like a daily thing. I work with philipino woman and white woman and I have never heard the philipino woman do it but like 60 percent of the white woman do it.

Edited 12 hours ago by Hojo

[Rigel]

How does a guy see a woman long enough to get engaged & not notice she’s not into him? He’s seriously lacking social awareness.

[bazera]

12 hours ago, LordFall said:

Level up and become a world class man, I believe in you boys you got this.

What are your criteria for a world-class man?

[LordFall]

8 hours ago, Valach said:

This is just fear based behaviour, it is not really healthy. Game is also not as foundational to healthy relationship dynamics as you would think. Been there, done that.

Feel free to elaborate but I'll disagree until you provide more context. You think learning to charm and seduce your girlfriend is not healthy behaviour? 

4 hours ago, Rigel said:

How does a guy see a woman long enough to get engaged & not notice she’s not into him? He’s seriously lacking social awareness.

So common, a lot of people settle for just okay relationships. I would say probably like 50%. 

4 hours ago, bazera said:

What are your criteria for a world-class man?

Provides a surplus of value to the people and women in his life. Fixed his insecurities and trauma. Is highly competent at some sort of skillset. Knows how to be funny and charming which fundamentally is about being in abundance of good emotions and confidence in your own ability to handle's life challenges. 

I don't date men but I'll notice a lot of times when I hangout with guys they're just clueless or just complain a lot or don't have the basic areas of life to be able to offer any value when you associate with them repeatedly. Whereas some other guys I learn something new each time I hangout with them, they have cool ideas for projects we could do together or just cool activities to do and they can introduce me to other cool people.

All of this is learnable if you care enough about life to put effort into learning the systems to make this happen. 

[Valach]

17 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Feel free to elaborate but I'll disagree until you provide more context. You think learning to charm and seduce your girlfriend is not healthy behaviour? 

If you do so to not lose her or to keep her loyal, I believe it is not coming from a healthy place. But my opinions are quite extreme in this regard. I have been and to certain degree still am involved in my local "game" community. I believe that an emotionally healthy person with good self esteem would never learn game. Or at least I haven't met one. Obviously you can "grow through it" so to speak and see that the issue was never really about woman and get a help needed. But it is rare.

Also this game being needed for a good relationship going is way too overblown. A lot of learning on how to be good with woman on the front actually reinforces the unhealthy patterns that manifest in relationships. I think the issue is that most people are simply way too traumatized and unhealed to hold a proper relationship. And so in place of that they expect to have this thing we call love or passion or whatever. From my experience that is not a healthy dynamic and not something that is gonna keep a long healhty relationship (mind you, those are very rare).

In a way yes, game will help you keep the woman in the relationship. But a unhealthy one for the most part. It is like giving a junkie another high to keep her around.

Edited 4 hours ago by Valach

[LordFall]

Just be careful of over generalizations. I've been involved in a few game communities across  different cities and you can find that type of guy in it who's emotions are like a void that they avoid fixing but there are plenty of high quality dudes in there. My opinion is also probably unique because I watched the leo video against PUAs when he released it 10 years ago so the pitfalls of the community have always been very obvious to me and I only associate with the positive aspect of it.

I will say that your opinion is misguided though because game is a wide skillset. Some of it revolves around putting on a persona and learning to charm women you don't know, part of it is also doing some trauma release work to develop your unique personality so that your persona and your authentic self become the same really you just become a social master of meeting new people and expressing positive energy. Plenty of average man never learn to do that and it's not a roast of them. They're just regular dudes that get overwhelmed with life and a lot of them give up and become overweight, get hooked on porn and lose their sex life with their wife. Look at deadbedrooms subreddit for plenty of examples on that.

Learning effective communication and managing your emotions will never be toxic. Those are the 2 main core game skills. 

[Valach]

I have been part of the most conscious "game" group of my city. Obviously I don't really know what it is in other places, but guys around me are not running some routines and other shit. Yet they are all broken inside. I can see that clearly. Especially after last half year when I was studying deeply attachment wounds etc.

You craving a woman either to be your girlfriend, or to have a harem or to have a lot of choices is a sign of the trauma. It is not healthy. I am not saying you specifically, just a general example.

Like answer to yourself honestly. Why do you want to "have" this? To have the skill to attract woman? To know how to engage them effectively etc. Why is it important at all?

If you would sit down most of these guys and dove deep with them (which requires a lot of self awareness which is practically impossible at large-scale), it would come down to - feeling worthy, feeling chosen, feeling like I am good enough. Most men, be it in the game or outside of it are "using" woman to externalize their own self worth. "I feel not good enough inside of me, but if I manage to learn how to get with attractive woman, that means I am good enough and I can relax for a bit". It's a drug. It is used to soothe pain and to avoid looking inside.

I am not gonna advocate against guys learning this shit because they are not gonna skip this stage and go beyond probably. Well, most will never get over this. But to praise it on this forum as some ultimate solution to a satisfied life is quite delusional. 

[LordFall]

 

1 hour ago, Valach said:

If you would sit down most of these guys and dove deep with them (which requires a lot of self awareness which is practically impossible at large-scale), it would come down to - feeling worthy, feeling chosen, feeling like I am good enough. Most men, be it in the game or outside of it are "using" woman to externalize their own self worth. "I feel not good enough inside of me, but if I manage to learn how to get with attractive woman, that means I am good enough and I can relax for a bit". It's a drug. It is used to soothe pain and to avoid looking inside.

The problem with your argument is the average person is also like that. It's a lot of the human condition not particularly with people that choose to improve their social skills. 

[Valach]

18 minutes ago, LordFall said:

 

The problem with your argument is the average person is also like that. It's a lot of the human condition not particularly with people that choose to improve their social skills. 

Absolutely. I am not saying success with wonam or social skills are wrong. I just think it is not the answer people need.