When is enough drama really enough?

[theleelajoker]

I am out with friends and I listen to what's going on in their lives. One of them tells me about his conflict with his colleague, a bitter series of disappointment, arguments and fights. He's clearly shaken by it.

There's another friend, she talks about mental health and that's she's grateful to currently be at least "halfway stable." Her voice is quite shaky and very quiet while she's says that. As if she doesn't believe in that stability herself. 

They both seem to suffer tremendously, and even when I doing fine now, I know how that feels like. 

I listen to them and I can't get it out of my head: this is all consciousness, or God or whatever name you give it, doing it to itself. 

The more aware I become, the more it seems to me that this whole reality is just a show, a drama for entertainment purposes. Problems created to have a task in dealing with them.

It could all be changed in an instant. Every misunderstanding, every conflict, every suffering.

From direct experiences, I know I'm talking to the person - or persona - in front of me, but I also know that I am communicating with something transpersonal. I know it's capable of immediately role-switching. I have experienced it many times. 

All the conflicts, all the problems could be solved instantaneously. So why stay in it? Is this really how "it" wants to spent eternity? Is that the best it CAN do? Is it what it really WANTS to do?

Personally, I feel more and more tired from these dramas. From time to time, I see the creation of drama, the process of unfolding of the storyline in a person's eyes. He or she is talking, and I am aware that the person is just making shit up to create some story arc. And I see the person looking back at me, and I know that he/she knows that I know.

Often, I get caught up in my own stories, my own role, my own character. But the more I have these moments of "knowing", the more I wonder about it.

And it's very strange because I still feel empathy. I know it BS, I know it's fabricated, and I still care.  I see the people in front of me and I think: They are having a really unpleasant experience. And I wonder: does it really have to be this way?

 

 

Sometimes, I love watching a series. The series starts great, I get interested in the story, in the characters. Then a little drama gets added and I'm engaged. For a while. And then I lose interest.

Because almost inevitably, the same thing happens over and over again: to keep tensions high, the drama must steadily increase. You know what I mean. "Woman is pregnant from lover who accidentally killed her husband without knowing while step-brother from the past appears and starts to uncover an evil plan to destroy the world while having an affair with the GF of his best friend...." ....yeah this kind of drama.

So is this really how it wants to experience life? Trump, and war, and rape, and famine, and hunger. And if there is no existential crisis going on, ok no problem we make our own mental problems. Depression, burn out, ADHD, suicide, etc etc. 

And you can't tell me that "we need to raise consciousness". It could be done, all drama ceased, right now, instantly. It's a choice. 

 

I recently had one of this role switching moments with a friend. I asked him about reality, and he replied, quite unexpectedly, "you will always wake up in some story"

When a series boils over with drama, I just stop watching it. But where else to go with my awareness than the reality around me?

What is it that "it " is actually distracting itself from? And if it wants to distract itself, is this really the way it wants to go about it? THIS IS REALLY IT? 

 

 

So what is left to do? I focus on myself and my (non) reactions as best as I can. And keep wondering: when is enough drama really enough?

Edited yesterday at 11:15 PM by theleelajoker

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I know the feeling. 

I don't have the answer. This sentiment you speak of - I feel swamped by it when I am around people who take themselves SO SERIOUSLY.

We create these personas to slap over our eyes - we create little egos to survive - all because of fear. Fear is the ultimate deception. All division comes from it - it is the opposite of loving unity behind it all. 

But that fear is more real to people than love. That's where I see most getting caught. Acceptance and judgement. Most bullshit comes from this axis.

They cannot even see their 'self' is different from one year to the next. That it is not fixed. But they act like it is... Hell. I am not even vaguely the same self I was 6 months ago!

We fail from the start because we believe in separation.

[Yimpa]

The drama ends when the ego bends.

[Hojo]

 

[LastThursday]

My theory is that drama primarily comes out of emotion. Someone's actions trigger us emotionally for example, and then we justify and explain those emotions with a story and characters. And, people are addicted to stories, they can even believe them absolutely as if they're concrete fact. Some drama never de-escalates because of this.

You do have to be careful though, in not creating drama from observing drama. Even if you're not part of a drama, it can still engage the emotions negatively, and you can create more stories for yourself from there. The ultimate escape route is complete indifference to drama. But to achieve that you really have to be honest and not pretend you don't have emotions. Listen to what they're telling you, absorb any learnings and then move on. Don't make a drama out of it.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@LastThursday this is a good point.

It can be another thing for the ego to cling to if we aren't careful. Another ground or conditioning to work on. 

[theleelajoker]

I am not sure I was able to adequately make my point. 

Some clarification: 

@Natasha Tori Maru "We fail from the start because we believe in separation." --> Agreed. But why do we believe that? Because we have been told so from out birth by almost all sources. Education system, parents, work, politics, media etc etc. Very few people, and with very little power, that are sending a different message. And it does not seem to be a "bug" or "mistake" to me --> Consciousness (I'll call it "it" for simplicity), wearing the mask of individual characters,  decided that this is how the world is or should be seen. And it could change it any moment. But it doesn't, and it seems to me that this is the case bc of seeking drama / entertainment

@LastThursday "people are addicted to stories" ---> yeah, but it's not people in the end. It's "it" pretending to be people. 

[LastThursday]

1 minute ago, theleelajoker said:

@LastThursday "people are addicted to stories" ---> yeah, but it's not people in the end. It's "it" pretending to be people.

Agreed. It's also "it" pretending to be you. But I don't think you're quite there yet (not that I am either):

11 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Personally, I feel more and more tired from these dramas.

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@theleelajoker do you think people are mostly unable to recognise peace? Let alone happiness.

Just about everyone close to me conflates pleasure and happiness. And equates peace to boredom. 

And I admit, it has been only through spiritual process that I, myself, been able to identify peace and crave it deeply. Prior to taking this work seriously I was not even able to sustain a stable, honest relationship with someone without forfeiting my own sovereignty (and therefore, peace). 

I think we come onto this world never knowing seperation. Conditioning through experience teaches us to perceive we are seperate to survive. As we move up Maslow's hierarchy the 'false self' becomes like a vestigial limb to be discarded. With all of its fears and falsehoods. But these are just my thoughts triggered by your insight 🙏

[theleelajoker]

3 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Agreed. It's also "it" pretending to be you. But I don't think you're quite there yet (not that I am either):

 

Yes! That's what I said above. I am definitely not there yet.

Quote

"Often, I get caught up in my own stories, my own role, my own character. But the more I have these moments of "knowing", the more I wonder about it."

But also, imagine all the events in my past, all the history that led to me having that conditioning that makes me react, all this never happened. Because it does seem to me that there is an element of choice in how things unfold. The way I perceive it, just not reality flowing uncontrolled. 

I can see the story line that has been created - by me, by it, for me personally and for everybody else - and I just wonder: Does it really need to be that dramatic? is this really how it's supposed to be? Is this really what "it" wants?

Because a very large portion of people I know seems to suffer a lot, and if I look at my complete life up to now, I can't say that the majority of days in my life have been happy. 

[theleelajoker]

17 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@theleelajoker do you think people are mostly unable to recognise peace? Let alone happiness.

Just about everyone close to me conflates pleasure and happiness. And equates peace to boredom. 

Two points:

1. Just about everyone close to me conflates pleasure and happiness. And equates peace to boredom.  ---> yes, I think there's something to it. In every situation there are infinite options to act, right? And more often then not, the choice I observe is the one towards conflict, drama. 
2. Do you think people are mostly unable to recognise peace?  --> it's not people  

17 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

And I admit, it has been only through spiritual process that I, myself, been able to identify peace and crave it deeply. Prior to taking this work seriously I was not even able to sustain a stable, honest relationship with someone without forfeiting my own sovereignty (and therefore, peace). 

I get you, similar for me. But can't really say that I the process I had is the process I would have chosen for myself. Would have been nice to have happier family life, happier childhood, happier relationships etc. In hindsight, I could have done with much less difficulties and challenges.

Edited 12 hours ago by theleelajoker

[LastThursday]

17 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

all this never happened

You're recognising there that "a story" is not the fundamental ground of reality. A story is just a net cast over conscious experience. Existence or "it" doesn't work in stories at all, even if it can create them for itself. Existence is more like the rush of a great waterfall, different moment to moment (to use a story).

Question is, can we live without creating stories or narrative or drama from our experiences? I don't know, but I don't see a fundamental limitation in getting rid of them. Or at least being more flexible and having more fluid stories. Recontextualisation as Leo says.

 

Edited 12 hours ago by LastThursday

[theleelajoker]

2 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

You're recognising there that "a story" is not the fundamental ground of reality. A story is just a net cast over conscious experience. Existence or "it" doesn't work in stories at all, even if it can create them for itself. Existence is more like the rush of a great waterfall, different moment to moment (to use a story).

 

What I mean with story here, it's not only what I tell myself. It's real life examples that impact me no matter what I think of it. Some examples: 

• You are kid. One of your parents dies, or they get divorced in an ugly conflict
• You are in in war zone
• You live in a totalitarian state
• People close to you become very sick, or mentally ill
• ....

No matter what meaning or interpretation you give this event, these circumstances shape your life and it creates a story arc because your next years or decades are very likely coined by these experiences. 

Quote

Question is, can we live without creating stories or narrative or drama from our experiences? I don't know, but I don't see a fundamental limitation in getting rid of them. Or at least being more flexible and having more fluid stories. Recontextualisation as Leo says.

Admittedly, I have been creating drama myself. But also, this was natural consequence of my past - drama was the only way I consciously experienced reality since I can remember my life. I question why that is so as it does not seem to do any good. Not to me, not to the people in my environment, and not if I look at the state of the world in general. 

To answer your question: I also don't know how much we can live without story / drama. But I'm trying my best because I really really am getting tired of this show...

 

[Breakingthewall]

The drama of life is an energetic labyrinth that must be resolved, and the complete resolution of this drama is total alignment with the flow of reality, that's also called enlightenment.

Drama is an evolutionary engine; it is how life functions, facing challenges to move forward. It is absolutely ruthless and spares no suffering.

Every living being is an evolutionary warrior, and a human even more so, since human evolution progresses millions of times faster than genetic evolution. Because humans are both animal and mind, and the mind is freed in great way from its attachment to matter, mind is a living being who evolve so rapidly that one generation is equivalent to a geological era. And suffering is proportional to that speed. 

[Someone here]

@theleelajoker totally relate with you.

what i have found is inside of my being there is emptiness. Literally there is no one or thing inside of me .yet I observe my thoughts and my actions or reactions as something the body is programmed to do .then I say that others are also empty vessels like me and all I hear inside of me or in the crowd is silence. 

[LastThursday]

11 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

these circumstances shape your life and it creates a story arc

It can, but only in retrospect. All this "stuff" happens and when you trace all the cause and effect threads, it leads back to something, and you create a story from that backtracking. 

Existentially, everything that ever happened no longer exists. All that exists of the past is what's in the present, including your memories. All that exists of the future is some idea in your imagination. A story is a sequence of events on a timeline. So where does that story exist? Where does the drama exist?

11 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

I'm trying my best because I really really am getting tired of this show...

There are two types of change in life, slow and fast. Sometimes things reach a critical point after which things change fast, and a new phase in life starts. I've found that being open and receptive and stable during these phase changes, is very helpful. But things will unravel in their own time, so patience is needed. You won't endure the tiredness forever, things are guaranteed to change for you.

Edited 1 hour ago by LastThursday

[Carl-Richard]

You could stop suffering quite easily, but you don't want to, either do what is required or drop what is required, which is very straightforward: everything you value must be dropped, everything you're doing that stands in the way of this must be deprioritized. Then meditation comes quite naturally. You're lucky to do spirituality before you have built a life, to see what is there, because that is simpler than tearing it all down. But you actually want to tear it all down before you get to see what is there. That is the conundrum. People want to mess themselves up before they put themselves back together again.

As for when is enough enough, it depends on the person. Some can drop it all at 14-15 years old. Some need more time to mess around. And the messing around can get very tricky, even in the later stages. Some can have many deep spiritual experiences and still believe it's not possible to let go fully of everything. Stuck in limbo, moth and the flame.

Edited 32 minutes ago by Carl-Richard