What are your thoughts on having children?

[bazera]

Hey,

I’ve just recently turned 30, and I’ve never wanted children in my life. Especially as I get older, I’m becoming more certain that it’s not something I need or want. I feel that I still have a lot to do in the areas of spirituality and survival mastery, and having a family—especially children—would be a major distraction from that. I also intuitively feel that I would regret it later in life.

The external pressure to start a family and have kids (as a kind of default life path) is also becoming increasingly annoying as I age.

What do you think? Do you yourself want or have a family or children? What do you consider a proper reason for having them, aside from pure survival? I do see it as a significant growth opportunity, but at the same time, a major distraction from consciousness work—which, if someone wants to pursue seriously, should probably make them think twice about having kids.

I’m especially interested in hearing opinions from women in this community, since culturally the pressure to have children tends to be stronger for women.

[samijiben]

Instead of bringing another person into this world, spend your time helping one that already exists. 

Otherwise, devote all your attention to yourself as the entire field of sensational goodness that must be God. 

Obviously, having a kid is a personal choice. You would probably be well equipped to have some money and the slight remnants of a plan before you get intl the child-bearing business.

Having a kid means caring for their survival. It probably also means a wife, a house, and a job. Now, if you want that kind of conventional life, a kid is for you.

The other way is to have a kid with no regard for their life, like Genghis Khan. But anyone with a university degree and any bit of cultural decency will tell you that that's a bad decision, a reckless decision, and an invalid motivation to have a kid. 

If you just want to impregnate a woman with your child for the purpose of going on with your life under the conviction of a father, that is fine, but what would be the purpose of having a kid anyway?

 

Ask yourself why you really want to have a kid, and understand that having a kid usually necessitates taking care of that kid. 

 

In my personal opinion, you should only take on that responsibility if you already care for yourself fully and unabashedly. But if you cared for yourself fully and abashedly, why the fuck would you want a kid?

 

 

 

[Basman]

Not wanting to have children doesn't mean that if you had kids that they wouldn't be important to you and that you wouldn't love them, but it probably wouldn't be the lifestyle you want and it be harder to go the extra mile. That was the case for my mother, and combined with her autism made, her too self-focused in a neurological sense to have the emotional space and time for me and my siblings, beyound the basics. She pursued her interests 60-80% as if she didn't have kids. In hindsight, she shouldn't have had kids, nevermind that she told me that herself, which I think was oversharing. 

[Kid A]

10 hours ago, bazera said:

I’ve just recently turned 30, and I’ve never wanted children in my life. Especially as I get older, I’m becoming more certain that it’s not something I need or want. I feel that I still have a lot to do in the areas of spirituality and survival mastery, and having a family—especially children—would be a major distraction from that. I also intuitively feel that I would regret it later in life.

Same here. Having children would probably be the most effective way to ruin my life. 

 

59 minutes ago, Basman said:

In hindsight, she shouldn't have had kids, nevermind that she told me that herself, which I think was oversharing. 

Jesus. That was definitely oversharing!

[Someone here]

If you want and you can and you are going to be a responsible caring father ..go ahead .nothing better than a kid laughing at Tom & Jerry to show you how adults are full of shit .