Reflecting on my relationship to this forum...

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I think interacting on the forum on and off over the past 8-9 years has given me something akin to that... though it's a mixed bag.

It is very very head heavy here IMO.

I view many users bypassing core emotional issues and attempting to heal on their own (or through spirituality). In reality plain cognitive behavioural therapy is what 70% of the forum needs. But there are many here who simply have no idea how skewed their thinking is. ChatGPT is actually terrible for this in general - it actually does the OPPOSITE of what therapy does - really challenge thinking and belief by pointing out biases. There is a belief that CBT won't be able to assist. In addition most users just need to experience a genuine connection with a human being. 

You could simply be feeling the lack of emotional intelligence here. Which is very very true. And to be clear I do not think users come here for emotional growth and learning. But that is what they genuinely NEED to progress.

It can be frustrating having conversations where you know you can help with thinking loops, but the block by the user is so immense. Arrogance with regard to intellect is the biggest 'vibration' and block here. Aging will humble 99%.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, integral said:

Most women have the problem where they engage in a conversation to win, and most men have the problem of not realizing that their partner just wants to win, and the whole conversation is about how the conversation makes her feel and nothing to do with solving problems or truth.

 

I view this as sexist also. This is not isolated to sex.

[Emerald]

On 11/16/2025 at 9:04 PM, Leo Gura said:

Sometimes a forum is just a forum.

You guys take this place a bit too seriously.

Remind yourselves that nothing you post ultimately matters.

With that said, don't post crap 

Any forum (or social group) in general is going to have a specific culture. 

And it just so happens that the culture here gives space for a repressed/suppressed part of myself... and it meets a need.

But I also just find the culture here draining at the same time.

So, yes... it's just a forum like any other forum. But the fact of the matter is that the culture of a social group/forum will have specific effects on specific people.  

So, it isn't wise to simply hand-wave it off as "you guys take this place a bit too seriously"... as we're literally instinctually wired to take social spaces seriously. 

[Leo Gura]

The culture here is to transcend instinctual wiring.

[Elliott]

7 hours ago, integral said:

Most women have the problem where they engage in a conversation to win, and most men have the problem of not realizing that their partner just wants to win, and the whole conversation is about how the conversation makes her feel and nothing to do with solving problems or truth.

 

Maybe to be heard. It'd be toxic if she just wants to win. Sometimes people aren't looking for you to help solve a problem, but just to listen.

People tend to fall into two diametrically opposed categories with communication; don't help unless they ask, they'll easily ask if they want your advice, or the other people; they'll almost never ask but they'll always listen to advice.

Edited 8 hours ago by Elliott

[TheCloud]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

But this place has pretty low vibes because of the way Leo has cultivated the culture here with his quippy one-liners and his tendency to grand-stand and frame himself as superior and operating above the plebeian masses... and views social isolation as an indication of maturity instead of immaturity.

And because he acts as a role model and as the vibe-setter within this culture, there are lots of young guys who are attracted here and start operating in that same way... only often without the talent for understanding complex intellectual concepts that Leo genuinely possesses.

And the forum, over the years, has become a magnet to guys with the same vulnerabilities as Leo and who want to create armor against those vulnerabilities in a similar way to how Leo does. And it's about creating all these intellectual masks of strength... and avoiding showing any weakness. 

Even for me, I find it very difficult to show vulnerability in this space, even though it's one of my main MOs in other contexts. 

So, it's not a culture that you can really open up to deeper transformative work within because of the inter-male dominance competition style on her.  

And It often feels like I'm on the forum with a bunch of guys who have the emotional  and social maturity of a sheltered middle school boy... but who believe themselves to have transcended beyond the need for human connection.

That's like half of the guys on here... and the things they struggle with are because of social and emotional bottlenecks leading to late-blooming and stunting. But they feel too superior about having these issues because the idea of being the loner/hermit is romanticized. 

I can feel the heat from that, even though it's not directed at me.  You clearly put a lot of genuine effort into making proper arguments, but that's exactly why you have to be aware of the possibility that you missed or misunderstood something.  Yet you still come forward with such boldness.  How do you handle being wrong, procedurally and/or emotionally?

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

The culture here is to transcend instinctual wiring.

If that's your intention for the culture on here, it honestly isn't working, and it wouldn't even be good if it did theoretically work.

This forum is an online social community that caters to a niche audience of people who value complex intellectual topics... and/or simply believe they can fix themselves and resolve insecurities and shame by understanding those complex intellectual topics.

And just like other online or in-person communities it's based on meeting social needs... in this case trying to use esteem needs to meet connection needs with a shield up that prevents those connection needs from being met.

And it's a social group with an anti-social mask.

So, it's a social echo chamber (like all other online forums are), dressed up as a space for 'people of superior and non-plebeian values who are working on themselves to transcend basic human needs to work to differentiate themselves from the plebeian masses.'

But it's all basic social dynamics and seeking for esteem within a social hierarchy... as it's a very hierarchical space.

And people come here to socialize about nerdy topics... and to feel competent and esteemed in a space that values these topics when most people don't.

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, TheCloud said:

I can feel the heat from that, even though it's not directed at me.  You clearly put a lot of genuine effort into making proper arguments, but that's exactly why you have to be aware of the possibility that you missed or misunderstood something.  Yet you still come forward with such boldness.  How do you handle being wrong, procedurally and/or emotionally?

I'm just sharing how it feels and seems to me personally to interact on this forum. And the other person I was replying to had a similar perspective. 

There's honestly no real heat in that particular response, as I was not arguing but agreeing and commiserating with the other poster.

I go into rage-mode only when I'm arguing.

But I was reflecting a shared frustration that I have with the culture here (apropos of the comments the other poster made about a lack of emotional intelligence on here)... but also why it meets a need.

[TheCloud]

31 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm just sharing how it feels and seems to me personally to interact on this forum. And the other person I was replying to had a similar perspective. 

There's honestly no real heat in that particular response, as I was not arguing but agreeing and commiserating with the other poster.

I go into rage-mode only when I'm arguing.

But I was reflecting a shared frustration that I have with the culture here (apropos of the comments the other poster made about a lack of emotional intelligence on here)... but also why it meets a need.

I was the poster :-)  And I wasn't disagreeing with you, or rather I wasn't arguing one way or the other.  I should have started with stating that I tentatively agree with everything you had to say about this forum and the way Leo has influenced it.  I typically avoid taking such bold stances because I find such arguments have a way of being flawed or incomplete, but that also does lend me a tendency to be wishy-washy and insecure.  Part of the reason behind my question on what you do when you end up being wrong is because I'm curious about how one can intelligently manage such boldness and confidence.

[Salvijus]

On 2025-11-16 at 10:09 PM, Emerald said:

So, this forum is like a big intellectual dick-measuring contest... and I have a really big one.  And I like to win

Nice. 

Everyone should strive to become a biggest dick ever. Trying to escape the dick measuring game is not an option. You'll just become a pretentious smartass pretending to be better than others while still being stuck in the game (what you described already as stoism). Winning the game is the only way. And to win you have to become Truth and Love. So you keep on becoming a giant dick, emerald, that cuts through all the ignorance in the world. I'm rooting for you. 

Edited 10 hours ago by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

Anger is a very transformative power. It's necessary if your role on earth is to bring change. You just have to learn to channel it with equanimity and compassion and presence. Otherwise that power can become destructive rather than constructive. Fire is good. 

Edited 10 hours ago by Salvijus

[Carl-Richard]

Meanwhile me and average forum users: *monke see post* *monke attack post* *monke shred post into pieces* *monke smile* *monke find next post* *monke laugh* *monkey find next post* *monke run away never want to see again* *monke find next post* *monke peel eyes intrigued* *monke find next post* *monke sleep*

 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

Hey! Don't use me vulnerably sharing a me-specific-problem as an excuse to be sexist to women

He is sharing a he-specific problem.

 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

and vent about your exes or female family members.

Oh wait, you said that.

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

This forum is an online social community that caters to a niche audience of people who value complex intellectual topics... and/or simply believe they can fix themselves and resolve insecurities and shame by understanding those complex intellectual topics.

This is a New Age circlejerk sauna session.

[AerisVahnEphelia]

8 hours ago, integral said:

Most women have the problem where they engage in a conversation to win, and most men have the problem of not realizing that their partner just wants to win, and the whole conversation is about how the conversation makes her feel and nothing to do with solving problems or truth.

 

Lot of people use conversation to regulate their emotions, not to understand the universe.
Understanding woman is the key to understanding god.

That explain God.
 

Edited 7 hours ago by AerisVahnEphelia

[AION]

A stiff upperlip is not good for anybody, not for the others and not for yourself. It is very unhealthy for yourself to have pent up emotions and you basically freeze the relationship dynamics by being clinical and sterile.

Most of the people here are deeply traumatized people who are looking for answers in the holy grail of actualized which is psychedelics. It is all in vain and all overcompensation. People don't look for truth and alien consciousness when they are wounded and looking to heal. Truth and healing (and being healthy aka embodied truth) is the same thing that a lot of people still have to discover but I rest my case.

All disease comes from trauma or some kind mental perversation. It is good that you are focusing on that because if one is wounded one can't even see reality the right way and see truth rightiously. All greatness comes from loss. A forum can't be low a good medium to express it. But I found it more useful to go to a city I'm unknown in and just be myself unapologetically. This might something you might to try out because that way you are skin in the game. I still think you still have a lot of uncovering to do though and I wish you all the best.

Edited 5 hours ago by AION

[integral]

11 hours ago, Emerald said:

Hey! Don't use me vulnerably sharing a me-specific-problem as an excuse to be sexist to women and vent about your exes or female family members.

Just look around this forum and you'll find the tendency to want to compete to be "the right one" all over the place... and this is a very male-dominated space.

😂😂😂 oooooh k Accusing me of sexism is the lack of EQ here... If you felt what i felt you would see im not coming from a sexist point of view. It's like if someone only wants to win then they will represent a position from the most advantage starting point. A sexist fool is easy to defeat, so lets start there?

The reason im responding this way is not because i lack empathy for your lifes journey, its because you misrepresented what i wrote... This constant distortion of other peoples perspective is the reason people keep engaging with you.

Not everyone on the forum wants to win, most are just responding what they think is the wrong thinking of the person you're engaging with. And when someone else misrepresents everything you say, they're compelled to engage and keep engaging. Your emotionally stimulating people into arguing with you because if a person cares about winning, then they're constantly distorting everything to win. 

---

On the topic of EQ, people on the form have higher EQ than average. It's because they're not acting from that place when writing because they're not emotionally in that state of mind. In order to write that way you have to be in a Play state.  @Natasha Tori Maru is always writing in play mode so is @Carl-Richard. It has nothing to do with having more EQ. Leo switches between play and focus modes. It's more important what state someone is in when they're engaging. If someone was on heroin they would have no need to win, or if your body is sick, you'll come off more hard and unpleasant.

The unwritten rule right now is "someone shared something personal" so tread lightly and address what they said consciously with understanding. But people are not always in the right state for this and the general flow of the forum is very few posts are like this so we're not always ready to produce high EQ writing. 

It's easy to be deceived by social skills. Some of the worst people on earth speak so pleasantly and so enjoyable to listen to... It has nothing to do with EQ. 

If I spoke like Trump, I would have more EQ reputation to my name.  But I would be a devil. 

Edited 2 hours ago by integral

[integral]

10 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I view this as sexist also. This is not isolated to sex.

Believing in equality in biology that creates the mind is sexism.

Equality is sexist! 😆

Men compete physically, woman compete socially. 

Men do not want to win in a conversation the way woman do, you guys are projecting and that creates sexism!

Of course I need to buffer this by explaining I don't mean 100% of the population. I don't mean we are all 100% UN-EQUAL, I do not mean there isn't diversity. I do not mean genders don't exist or masculine and feminine polarity doesn't exist. I don't mean any of this. Thank you lol.

I'm pointing to biological expression of how a mind is created through the female biology and through the male biology and the divergent trend.

Edited 3 hours ago by integral

[XXXXXX]

Overthinking

[integral]

4 hours ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

Lot of people use conversation to regulate their emotions, not to understand the universe.

Yes and when they come into contact with people who dont do this, theres a clash.

Why outsource emotional regulation to the sick and corrupt people around you?

Its naive consumerism.

Edited 2 hours ago by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, integral said:

Believing in equality in biology that creates the mind is sexism.

Equality is sexist! 😆

Men compete physically, woman compete socially. 

Men do not want to win in a conversation the way woman do, you guys are projecting and that creates sexism!

Of course I need to buffer this by explaining I don't mean 100% of the population. I don't mean we are all 100% UN-EQUAL, I do not mean there isn't diversity. I do not mean genders don't exist or masculine and feminine polarity doesn't exist. I don't mean any of this. Thank you lol.

I'm pointing to biological expression of how a mind is created through the female biology and through the male biology and the divergent trend.

I didn't say anything like that.

Just that both sexes do what you what you claim is attributed to women. Tis not isolated to sex. Nothing I said denied biological difference. Just that in this case there is miss-attribution.