Reflecting on my relationship to this forum...

[Miguel1]

Let’s try to respect Emerald and keep this thread more in topic.

[integral]

21 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Being dishonest in a relationship seems like a good idea to you?

This entire dynamic you have going on could probably be cleared up with one conversation, after which you can be honest because you'll actually understand what she's trying to communicate which is probably that she just doesn't feel heard(because you literally don't try to understand her).

Giving her what she wants, which is love, is precisely understanding her.

The content of what she's saying has to be agreed with or if you disagree, you have to do it in a super playful way with the right affection techniques.

It's not some easy thing to do, especially when they're not in the right mood all day, then it becomes a marathon a partner cant tolerate, people have limits.

Most issues people have in relationships is that,. You're partner is in proximity and someone doesn't feel good.

The fact that you being in proximity makes more opportunities to associate negative feelings towards you.

To solve this, you just have to use playful techniques. 

Edited 1 hour ago by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, integral said:

Giving her what she wants, which is love, is precisely understanding her.

The content of what she's saying has to be agreed with or if you disagree, you have to do it in a super playful way with the right affection techniques.

It's not some easy thing to do, especially when they're not in the right mood all day, then it becomes a marathon a partner cant tolerate, people have limits.

Most issues people have in relationships is that,. You're partner is in proximity and someone doesn't feel good.

The fact that you being in proximity makes them associated negative feelings towards you.

To solve this, you just have to use playful techniques. 

This sounds like a unique dynamic. Atypical to my experience 

[integral]

3 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This sounds like a unique dynamic. Atypical to my experience 

What is your experience?

[Elliott]

11 minutes ago, integral said:

Giving her what she wants, which is love, is precisely understanding her.

The content of what she's saying has to be agreed with or if you disagree, you have to do it in a super playful way with the right affection techniques.

It's not some easy thing to do, especially when they're not in the right mood all day, then it becomes a marathon a partner cant tolerate, people have limits.

Most issues people have in relationships is that,. You're partner is in proximity and someone doesn't feel good.

The fact that you being in proximity makes more opportunities to associate negative feelings towards you.

To solve this, you just have to use playful techniques. 

Oftentimes a person, I'm suggesting maybe your partner, just wants to vent, and all they need is "ahh" , literally, that will satisfy them, you don't need to lie("you're right"). If you try to give them a solution they'll get argumentative, they just want to vent.

Edited 1 hour ago by Elliott

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, integral said:

What is your experience?

Pretty radical honesty - but it means both partners need to be really mature (emotionally + intellectually). It requires each partner being able to moderate their own emotional reaction in an effort to find a solution. Radical emotional acceptance.

I have been with people that had some mental health issues (diagnosed) and it usually meant I had to compromise on some boundaries to ensure it worked. In particular borderline personality disorder - the suffering of the individual is so extreme I often had to appeal to emotion to maintain peace - and then move toward rationality once calm was established. It isn't personal with BPD sufferers. 

I am not a typical woman though - I don't mean to say, I am a special snowflake - more that I do not respond emotionally in ways society is more familiar with. I think I could just be a bit more mature as well.