I went to the dating event and it was amazing

[Something Funny]

Easily the best social thing that I've ever been to.

It was organized in a cafe from 16:00 to 20:00. There were 8 guys and 6 girls (it was supposed to be 7 girls,  but 1 didn't come). There were 4 tables and guys would rotate between the tables every 35 minutes (plus 10 minutes of free time before each round starts). Each round they would give us 3 options: a tabletop game (most were centered around getting to know each other), cards with questions, or some "integration exercise" (for example we got one where each person had to write down their top 3 strength, and then you would draw connections between each other's strengths if they are related in any way). 

I've enjoyed the whole thing so much!  And I think I did really well. I was talkative and active, I didn't feel that anxious or stressed but rather excited and alert. And I think some people even liked me.

The cafe was really nice, had cool art on the walls, and had a nice atmosphere in general. The people were nice. I liked the format because about 40 minutes of talking is just enough time to get too know each other without getting too overwhelmed. And I liked the support that having specific activities and question cards provided. It made things much easier than if you had to jump start a conversation on your own (also some questions were kind of philosophical and I got to shine a bit).

Finally, at the end, each person wrote down the names of the people they would like to meet with on a card and gave it to the organizers (anonymously). And now they are supposed to let us know if we got any matches (like on tinder). I think it's a really cool idea because there is no fear, there is no embarrassment, there is no need to worry about being rejected or put into an uncomfortable situation. And that can be said about the whole idea of dating events like this in general. They remove all the anxiety related to cold approaching because everyone is there to date, you don't have to worry about bothering people or looking weird, etc.

Sure, you might say that it will not develop you as much as a hardcore cold approach pickup practice. But I think it's really good for newbies who are just starting to learn how to socialize and need a safe space to practice. And also for people who don't care about personal development aspects of dating and just want to find a girlfriend / boyfriend.

 

[pursuitofspirit]

Nice. Did you get any matches?

[Something Funny]

@pursuitofspirit idk yet, I think they are supposed to email us tomorrow.

[Salvijus]

Sounds fun 

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny All the best.

[Something Funny]

Ha! I got a match. 

Now watch me fuck up the date

[Zenterus]

7 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Ha! I got a match. 

Now watch me fuck up the date

You're already coming at it from the wrong frame.

Dating is about chemistry and connection. This date is not a test of your "game" or your manhood or masculinity. 

You're already enough as is.

Going on dates is an opportunity for you to relax, have fun, be playful, flirt, share who you are with the girl infront of you (warts and all) and if she vibes with what you're putting down then lead it towards whatever outcome you have in mind while making sure to maintain a dynamic of respect by not coming off as needy and also maintaining your boundaries in case she tests your frame.

Have fun, chap!

[Something Funny]

@Zenterusthank you. I totally agree. 

The question is how do I actually start living this kind of mindset? How do I actually start feeling this way?

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny Man you are moving ahead and it's good to see you . Seems like my best wish worked 😂.

[Something Funny]

@Rishabh Rthank you

[Something Funny]

The date was meh... I didn't embarrass myself and nothing horrible happened, but I couldn't really build any connection between us. We talked but it felt very awkward, forced, and robotic. Basically a dry exchange of facts and opinions with a pinch of fake niceness.

I watched this video before going
 

And that's how I wanted the date to go. Deep, intimate, heartfelt conversations and real emotional connection. But I couldn't get anywhere near that. 

There was also no physical contact aside from a hug at the beginning and the end and no romantic vibes at all. Zero flirting, zero intimacy, zero sexual tension.

And the moments of silence were awkward and uncomfortable.

To be honest I also didn't really feel attracted to her, but that doesn't change the fact that I am really bad at this. Mostly, I feel disappointed. I feel like I didn't really push myself and didn't make any progress.

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny I think that you are measuring your progress the wrong way. You can move your standard of success from external achievement to internal metrics .

[Something Funny]

2 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

from external achievement to internal metrics .

Like what?

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny For example - Being fulfilled, being overall happy ,self respect etc. Define success internally.

By the way I took my response from a book -Models by Mark Manson. (It's a great book which you can check out)

Edited Saturday at 10:31 AM by Rishabh R

[Something Funny]

@Rishabh R I don't feel fulfilled, I am not very happy overall, and I don't have much self-respect  

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny But still you are averagely happy and that's enough. You made progress that's what matters.

[Something Funny]

@Rishabh R i am tired of trying to act positive. Fuck me and my life

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny Keep going. Eventually you will get there. 

[Jowblob]

@Something Funny

I give you some tips for the next date to build emotional connection, first of all you have to understand that emotional connection is nothing more then your own consciousness state and the date will be a reflection of your state.

1. Don't masturbate for atleast 15 days, the sperm or the energetic aspect of it will make you seem more masculine to the woman and your consciousness will be different. Deep behind the scenes, you're vibrating energy and not an outer shell. You will also have an easier time holding unbreakable eye contact

2.  Hold unbreakable eyecontact and try to become conscious of her body so that you can mimic her body movements perfectly at the same time, this will stun her and she will be in awe of you.

3. Keep in mind at all times and say to yourself that you can't do anything wrong, and don't force anything if you don't feel like talking then don't talk, just look into the eyes.

4. World/society/woman is based on your beliefs, remove or forget these beliefs.

 

Edited Sunday at 11:03 AM by Jowblob

[WonderSeeker]

On 10/20/2025 at 6:43 PM, Something Funny said:

Ha! I got a match. 

Now watch me fuck up the date

Agree with @Zenterus . In addition, learn to enjoy your own company first, then share that vibe with your matches. And let the chips fall where they may. The end result is about connection.

Btw, sounds like a cool event. Gonna see if my city has one... I just moved to Korea