The need to feel or be special

[PurpleTree]

The need to feel

or be

or be seen as

special

It’s interesting 

it’s part of the seperate self or ego to want to be special. 

And it can vary in degree.

Emerson sometimes called it specialitis.

For me it’s quite strong even though I resonate with there being no self.

I guess in the story it started as an only child and then people sometimes told me I’m special or whatever. And then it’s also a defence self protection mechanism

But it’s a huge trap imo.

The idea that everything is about you is the same as being special and it’s a burden. It means others feelings are because of you and so on.

So to me liberation would that relief of that burden and weight.

Any tip on how to let go of the trap of specialitis?

Some people think having a big ego means being full of yourself over confident etc. But it can also go the other way or fluctuate.

 

 

Nothing is about me, nothing ever was about me. Aummmmm

 

 

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

The need to feel

or be

or be seen as

special

It’s interesting 

it’s part of the seperate self or ego to want to be special. 

(...)

But it’s a huge trap imo.

The idea that everything is about you is the same as being special and it’s a burden. It means others feelings are because of you and so on.

So to me liberation would that relief of that burden and weight.

Any tip on how to let go of the trap of specialitis?

(...)

Nothing is about me, nothing ever was about me. Aummmmm

 

 

Yeah I get that with the burden. In terms of tips of how to get free:

• You can go the "100% self responsibility path" nobody is ever responsible for my feelings, I'm not responsible for theirs. But it's hard to apply this fully because we are such social beings. Maybe helps a bit. Read about theory of constructed emotions for instance 
• You can go the "no causality path". Stanislav Grov once made a comparison: You sit watch a movie,  one guy A shoots another guy B. Guy B holds his stomach, blood all over his body, he falls down and dies. The viewer of the movie is made believe that A shot B, and that there is a casual relationship between A firing a shot and B being hit and dieing. In fact, there never was a bullet. There is a self , bit it has no influence on other selfs. Watch "le deuxième act" to go deeper into that
• You can go the "you screwed me first" path. You say you would like to have freedom of this burden, of this weight, you would like liberation. Man that sucks, doesn't it? Sounds you surely suffer because of that feeling. Something on your life happened some time ago so that you feel that way. You didn't decide to feel like that, did you? Life plays tricks on you, there's no reason to feel guilty it's simply the game that's supposed to be played. You know when kids tease you? My nice loves to go on my nerves, I tell her "one more time and I tickle you!" She.... just teases me harder, I tickle her, she hates it. I don't feel bad, she started it. (How it continues: She promises to don't tease me again. I stop. She starts to tease me again. I say: "One more time, and..... Live. Tease. Get teased. Repeat)

Yeah you can also go the no-self path but you mention you still have this feeling despite no-self resonance so I slip this path. Did rather increase the feeling of responsibility for me because things and people in the outside world SEEM to be more connected to my inner experiences

 

[Lyubov]

It’s an interesting topic for sure. I think the word “special” can be sort of loaded because people hear it and then have any number of other beliefs about what it means. To me you are special, I am special and I believe every person I meet is special. What that means to me is that they are unique, valuable and part of the whole. A spiritual being. It isn’t a personal trait nor is it saying one person is better than the other. It doesn’t even mean I like every person or want to spend time with them. It’s just recognizing that there is no one else like you and you exist here and now and life is a miracle and you are part of it. It’s very simple. I don’t think the idea of everything being about you is the same as being special.

[Razard86]

4 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

It’s an interesting topic for sure. I think the word “special” can be sort of loaded because people hear it and then have any number of other beliefs about what it means. To me you are special, I am special and I believe every person I meet is special. What that means to me is that they are unique, valuable and part of the whole. A spiritual being. It isn’t a personal trait nor is it saying one person is better than the other. It doesn’t even mean I like every person or want to spend time with them. It’s just recognizing that there is no one else like you and you exist here and now and life is a miracle and you are part of it. It’s very simple. I don’t think the idea of everything being about you is the same as being special.

Yeah everything is inherently special because to say something is special is the same as saying it is unique and everything in creation even identical things are still unique when closely examined to the tinest detail, While the substance of all of existence is completely identical with no difference, the expression of that substance is all unique and different. Like how a computer screen's colors are all the same pixels but each expression of each pixel is completely unique. 

So the only reason anyone has a desire to be unique is because they a desire to understand their own uniqueness.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

A craving to be witnessed and acknowledged for your unique set of qualities?

It's about wanting love underneath? 

[Razard86]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

A craving to be witnessed and acknowledged for your unique set of qualities?

It's about wanting love underneath? 

Definitely true, which is masked by the case that it is already being love already. 

[Hojo]

@PurpleTree Yes let satan out in your mind. Start shitting on yourself but do it and feel good not bad. Ie: no one likes me no one wants to talk to me. No one wants to have sex with me no one is interested in what I do or feel. You will become detached but if you do it consciously then you wont be upset by it. Start saying you are less than everyone. I am less than gum on the bottom of a pedophiles shoe.

Edited August 19 by Hojo

[Aaron p]

I think it's ok to want to feel heard and special. Why not,

 

Just whenever it becomes uncalibrated, Tate styled attention seeking it becomes problematic. In normal terms this community is special and cool.

[gettoefl]

Special is the lowest rung of the spiritual ladder. It's what we tell children. Next is ordinary. I am nothing special. I have nothing to offer you. Highest is holy. You need me. I need you.