Social circle game. What are your thoughts?

[Emerald]

I think everyone should have a social circle.

And having romantic options that can develop organically is just one of the many perks of having one. So, I wouldn't even create a social circle explicitly thinking about game. Just think about it as looking for people (men and women) to have a spend time with and good time with.

Honestly, before someone even considers doing pick-up, I recommend building a social circle of friends and acquaintances to connect with.

Then, once you have those more basic needs met, you can go do some pick-up if you want.

But doing pick-up without a social circle is a bit like going to a grocery store when you're starving. You're going to be too desperate for your needs for human connection and social support to be detached form outcomes.

[fabger]

"But doing pick-up without a social circle is a bit like going to a grocery store when you're starving. You're going to be too desperate for your needs for human connection and social support to be detached form outcomes."

@Emerald

if I'm starving the first thing I do is buy food at the grocery store what are you talking about 😀?

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, fabger said:

"But doing pick-up without a social circle is a bit like going to a grocery store when you're starving. You're going to be too desperate for your needs for human connection and social support to be detached form outcomes."

@Emerald

if I'm starving the first thing I do is buy food at the grocery store what are you talking about 😀?

It didn't mean literally starving. I meant very very hungry and haven't eaten in half a day.

There is a saying, "Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry."

And that is because you will make poor choices at the grocery store when you're making active food selections for the week from a state of ravenous hunger.

Ideally, you eat something before you go grocery shopping, so as not to make impulsive choices out of desperation for food.

[meta_male]

On 18.8.2025 at 11:54 AM, theleelajoker said:

You get less frustrated if you select less by looks, but more by signals,  initial openness for interaction. Which means less rejection, which means more success, which means better mood and vibe, which means higher % for success.  Which means learning how to better filter your approach, which means...

Well said. No need to collect rejections just for the sake of building thicker skin. You can just be smart instead.

[Jannes]

On 19.8.2025 at 5:20 AM, Emerald said:

I think everyone should have a social circle.

And having romantic options that can develop organically is just one of the many perks of having one. So, I wouldn't even create a social circle explicitly thinking about game. Just think about it as looking for people (men and women) to have a spend time with and good time with.

Honestly, before someone even considers doing pick-up, I recommend building a social circle of friends and acquaintances to connect with.

Then, once you have those more basic needs met, you can go do some pick-up if you want.

But doing pick-up without a social circle is a bit like going to a grocery store when you're starving. You're going to be too desperate for your needs for human connection and social support to be detached form outcomes.

Thats exactly my experience. When you dont have a social circle as a base then its hard to normally talk to strangers because you dont have that sense of basic belonging. You need some regular socializing which isnt on pick up level just to not be akward.  

But also the herd can make you complacent. I dont think about pick up when I am in a group. 

[Consept]

Yeah I agree with @Emerald you should build a social circle anyway because it allows you to have a more rounded life and spend time and do things you enjoy with people that you like. Not only does this give you a sense of belonging but it makes you more attractive to any potential partner because it shows that people want to be around you and that you actually want to do interesting things. 

The more you socialise the more likely it is that you'd meet people, friends of friends etc also whoever you meet in that context youre already 10 steps ahead of anyone who had cold approached because youre essentially vouched for by people around you. 

So to give practical advice just start doing things you actually enjoy doing or activities that you always wanted to but never tried. Maybe attend a dance class, ideally salsa lol, learn a language take up a sport etc. Once youre in these environments be open to meeting and connecting with people, you won't get on with everyone but you only need a couple to start building a circle. The main thing is it need to be almost effortless, so go toward the people that like you, go toward the activities you want to do. 

Imo this always beats cold approach because you improve in so many ways and your life actually gets better and closer to what you want. Best case in cold approach is you get a girlfriend or a girl to sleep with you but you dont get to work on anything else or create an actual enjoyable life. 

[fabger]

@meta_male

Buuut the skills and awareness you gain along the journey is valuable. You can't do it through social circle

[meta_male]

42 minutes ago, fabger said:

Buuut the skills and awareness you gain along the journey is valuable. You can't do it through social circle

Along what journey...cold approach? I do that sometimes. But more often it's a girl giving me a signal and me not acting on it cause I literally don't feel the urge. Feels more like some mental block than lack of skill.