Vercingetorix

Playfulness Vs Emotional Detachment

34 posts in this topic

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You will attract more women being emotional feminine than aloof masculine. Women love drama and play. Aloofness is terrible for game.

I was always surprised how well acting feminine worked out. When I acted feminine I often thought that I stretched it too far, that she will be unattracted to me now, but no it kept working. 

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4 hours ago, Av2521 said:

@Leo Gura But how exactly one can act emotional and feminine? What does „play“ exactly mean in this context? Is it to have fun in the moment? To be childlike and to also treat her like a child?

 

I always thought that being masculine attracts the feminine, so things like leadership, confidence, emotional stability, decisiveness.

I think women value these traits but without some emotional touch these guys seem unrelatable und initially unconnectable. Ideally you have the full package.

But also I think guys with a purely hard shell who cant be emotional are often lacking behind in their development somehow so that a guy can be emotional can actually be a sign that he has his life in order - friends, not depressed, etc. so he can effort to be emotionally playful. 

Yeah being playful is about having fun. It can be a strong shift from how you usually think. 

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16 hours ago, Av2521 said:

@Leo Gura But how exactly one can act emotional and feminine? What does „play“ exactly mean in this context? Is it to have fun in the moment?

Yes! Fun!

Have you ever partied?

Have you ever played with a cat or dog? Really lost in play.

You do not ask for a scientific lesson in how to play with a dog. You just play.

Quote

I always thought that being masculine attracts the feminine, so things like leadership, confidence, emotional stability, decisiveness.

Those things are attractive but the bottom line is that you need to be good at emotional conversation because that is how the woman knows you. She does not know anything else. You can have a 2ft dick and be a military general but she has no idea.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura You need to teach how to activate self-deception after students have learned to deconstruct it.

Instant make-believe activation into play mode through deception mechanism - gotta learn the system before you can break it :P

 

 


Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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Play does not need self-deception.

Playfulness increases with consciousness. Self-deception makes the mind stiff and stuck in stupid logic.

The highest intelligence is playful and poetic.

Notice that fundamentalists and ideologues are the least playful.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Play does not need self-deception.

I think I considered it as limiting my frame - narrowing down the scope of what I am dealing with using imagination as the 'barrier' that acts as deception. Thus facilitating 'play' via imagination. BUT! This would depend on if you determine self-deception as always having an unconscious element. And there are cases where deception is conscious - but only acted outwardly through action rather than an inward perception. 

I suppose that ends up being the difference between deception and imagination

Edited by Natasha Tori Maru

Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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Playing with a dog involves no deception.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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47 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Playing with a dog involves no deception.

It is an interesting concept and I do think on it a lot, because it is lived experience for me.

I bring my dog to the office with me and she hangs here while I work.

I enjoy the break from work while I play with her - and I realise this is because she removes me from the thoughts and dealings of the work day.

Occasionally, I cannot play with her as I cannot disconnect from the stress of tasks.

But I can force it if I tell myself that stress and world does not exist - if I do not pay attention to it. 

Effectively brainwashing myself to be present in the moment.

Only me and the poodle exist - and the ball tossed between us.


Deal with the issue now, on your terms, in your control. Or the issue will deal with you, in ways you won't appreciate, and cannot control.

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@Leo Gura Holy shit I just had an insight into play!!

Play is when you don't expect shit from the activity. No reward whatsoever, the activity is the reward. It's a no expectation mode of operation.

So GOD is infinitely playful, it doesnt demand nothing from activities, the activity is an end in itself. GOD would do it even if it brings it misery, the doing is the THING, its profound.

Just being itself, that's play!!!!

Playfullness is the opposite of competitiveness, when you are playful you do not compare yourself to nobody or anything, you are with yourself, the moment is sacred!!

When will society move from competitiveness to playfullness??:S It`s crazy because competition is literally how people keep themselves sane, its what gives them meaning. They cannot imagine a world where you do stuff and dont receive any rewards, just doing what they like and not comparing themselves, not feeding their ego.

Playfullness also correlates with selflessness. Just doing and being happy not expecting attention or rewards from anyone or anything.:)

So in a sense spirituality is a path of playfullness, to get out of yourself and enjoying the things in themselves, just being??:D

Edited by Eskilon

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Play is loss of self aka letting go, which results in enthusiasm, potency and flow. It is inherent in your nature as a child/teenager but after that people lose the potency gradually. 

Edited by AION

I´m that I´m, Infinity, destroyer of paradigms 🌍 

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On 9/30/2025 at 1:56 PM, theleelajoker said:

I don't believe this is true.

What about Luka Doncic for instance? This guy is famous for having incredible fun on and off the court. Same time, he is super attached to specific outcomes. Just watch him in games,  his competitiveness. 

You can now say "it different with dating". Nah, it's not. I can have fun BECAUSE it matters to me, because there are some emotions. You are right about "not forcing things". But this whole "being emotionally detached stuff" is overrated. It's simply about finding the right balance. 

What I mean by detachment is the ability to let go... and to simply focus on one's own personal enjoyment in the moment and be present.

So, if a man is thinking, "How can I get her to like me?" or "How do I get her to sleep with me?" it will tend to come across as too future-focused and outcome-focused and attached. And there is usually a try-hard vibe about it.

But if a guy is fairly detached from those outcomes and is just focused on having a good time, he's much more magnetic as he feels more self-directed... as opposed to being directed by the desire to please the woman and manipulate outcomes in his favor for his future goals.


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4 hours ago, Emerald said:

What I mean by detachment is the ability to let go... and to simply focus on one's own personal enjoyment in the moment and be present.

So, if a man is thinking, "How can I get her to like me?" or "How do I get her to sleep with me?" it will tend to come across as too future-focused and outcome-focused and attached. And there is usually a try-hard vibe about it.

But if a guy is fairly detached from those outcomes and is just focused on having a good time, he's much more magnetic as he feels more self-directed... as opposed to being directed by the desire to please the woman and manipulate outcomes in his favor for his future goals.

ok get you. 

In my city, there's a graffiti in a park. Seems to summarize the whole thing quite well IMO:

"I think therefore I'm fucked"

 

 


Here are smart words that present my apparent identity but don't mean anything. At all. 

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