I need advice texting a woman

[meta_male]

@Leo Gura The guy already attracted her by being himself. Overthinking it now with tactics might kill it...he was already doubting her reaching out. Sometimes pickup advice does more harm than good.

@Starlight321 It doesn't matter if superman, batman or where exactly you go. I’ve had women pick me up cause I lived too far away. If she’s into it she’ll make it work.

Edited 17 hours ago by meta_male

[Leo Gura]

16 minutes ago, meta_male said:

he was already doubting her reaching out.

Exactly. Which shows that his intuition is as good as a deer in the headlights.

Planning proper date logistics is not overthinking. It is necessary. Dates don't plan themselves. These are essential skills to develop.

Edited 17 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Starlight321]

@meta_maleIn this case it is really worth gold to understand what is a good move or a bad one. There are things to know which would otherwise need unecessary mistakes to learn from.

 

[meta_male]

@Leo Gura Fair. Just depends on what you're optimizing for.
 

@Starlight321 You’ll learn faster by risking a few awkward moments than trying to memorize every move.

Good luck, man!

[AION]

The best way to develop this skill is through trail and error (and thus optimizing intuition). Just go on a lot of dates and care about your skills and principles more than the result you desire. A good way to do this is to go out with girls you don’t necessarily like and just run the set into the ground guns blazing. 

Edited 16 hours ago by AION

[Schizophonia]

Never force anything or almost. 

[Hojo]

If you plan a date and then the date finishes and then she says what do you want to do now, it means take me to your place and have sex with me.

Remember the woman isnt looking at you she is looking at a made up version of you shes already created and is making up in her head. She has already deemed that she wants to have sex with you and you just have to be yourself, you cant really fk it up just talk about her and not you.

The less you fuck with the story shes made up the more chance you have. Thats why women like calm non talkative cool guys because they dont say much about themselves and the woman just sits there making up shit. The cool guy looks cool and gives off a mysterious vibe cause they are different but are empty shells.

You just ask about her and give mysterious vague answers about yourself.

The woman wont even know you are doing it.

I talk to a woman for 4 years and said nothing about myself and just talk about her and she thinks she knows who I am without knowing anything about me. She was just making shit up about me and thinking she knew me because I give vague answers. I have consciously not said anything about myself to her and she thinks I have because I ask questions about her. Its unreal the way women work.

Edited 15 hours ago by Hojo

[Starlight321]

She send me a link with interesting events this weeks to choose from. Turns out that this week is a special sound event with workshops, concerts and exhibitions spread all over the town. 

It will be hard to find something close to my location. They are mostly 20/30 mins away. The closer ones are just art exhibitions. I will probably choose one thats more fun but further away or I'll try to make it fun.

Edited 14 hours ago by Starlight321

[samijiben]

Dude, just go meet up with her and take it from there. 

Anticlimax and dissapointment is coming your way in any case.

So long as you expect that something is to come — that there is reality beyond this moment — and that it's going to get better,

You have already fucked yourself over. 

[theleelajoker]

@Hojo This is IMO such a valuable and funny comment!  

Valuable because especially this aligns so well with some of my experiences. Reminds me of times when I fucked it up because I was talking too much about myself and not let her do her "image in the head" thing. 

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Remember the woman isnt looking at you she is looking at a made up version of you shes already created and is making up in her head.

The less you fuck with the story shes made up the more chance you have. Thats why women like calm non talkative cool guys because they dont say much about themselves and the woman just sits there making up shit. The cool guy looks cool and gives off a mysterious vibe cause they are different but are empty shells.

Bold marked by me - SO TRUE. Sometimes I just let it go when they said this or that about me. I was like "OK if you want to think this, alright. I don't care, that is not important to me". But sometimes I felt the need to correct her image of me. I said something and I remember the irritated look on her face, as if physically destroying the image of me in her head. Almost could hear a loud bang LOL. In hindsight I can see how I destroyed some mystery and fantasy. And I can see how it hurt my chances with her and I should have known better and just STFU.

But re other times, I was happy to correct her because I don't want a intimate relationship where I am just a projection of her fantasy, I want her to know me as I am and not as I she wants me to be. 

Quote

 

You just ask about her and give mysterious vague answers about yourself.

The woman wont even know you are doing it.

I don't do vague answers on purpose or as a strategy. If she asks me a question that I care about, then I express myself openly. If she ask me uninteresting stuff, then I answer vaguely or re-direct into something more interesting. Quality of reply correlates with quality of questions. 

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Its unreal the way women work.

This is the funny part. It really is. If I watch closely, then you can see the mysterious part building up, or the destruction of the mystery happening in real life, just look at the eyes, facial expression and body language

On the weekend I had a date and I saw the woman wanted to ask some stuff about me, she had this gaze in her eyes and was clearly checking me out. I said something like "if you want to know something, you can but also you need to ask". She was hesitating for a while, and then said sth along "No, if I ask I might destroy something and I like you as you are right now"

---> They know they are doing it  

 

In the end, for me it's about the balance. Being too open destroys some of the mysterious fantasy. There is no need to talk a lot about every little thing. 

But being too closed prevents true connection among each other. I also know other guys that use this vagueness like you say as a strategy to appear interesting, attractive etc. While it works re being interesting for women, it feels for me that they always "play a role" and are never themselves, never truly expressing. I guess it's like always - depends on what you want out of life. 

A good "middle way" is often for me to express myself with actions and less with words. I once read sth like "if you can express what you want to say with an action, then prefer action before words". 

Edited 13 hours ago by theleelajoker

[Hojo]

@theleelajokerI dont mean be closed I mean answer the question as vaguely as possible then ask them the question back and then expand on it for them. Then keep asking questions about their experience or whatever, what it felt like how it make them feel or make a funny joke. You can talk 10 percent of the time and they can talk 90 percent of the time and they wont notice its even happening and they think they are having a conversation.

They ask a question about you then you say once sentence like. What do you do you give a one sentence answer vaguely describing what you do and then you instantly ask the question back to them and then they answer and you ask to expand to infinity. Do this with every question and they are talking to a question bot while thinking they are learning about you.

They will come out of the conversation thinking they learned and know anything about you. Ignore all bad stories about yourself and tell them they one time everyone cheered for you. All of a sudden everyone in the world is constantly cheering for you in their minds.

Since they keep making up stories and they run the date through their mind alot they keep looping information back at themselves strengthening the small amount you added into your entire identity.

Edited 13 hours ago by Hojo

[Salvijus]

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

Thats why women like calm non talkative cool guys because they dont say much about themselves and the woman just sits there making up shit

Lol

[theleelajoker]

2 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@theleelajokerI dont mean be closed I mean answer the question as vaguely as possible then ask them the question back and then expand on it for them. Then keep asking questions about their experience or whatever, what it felt like how it make them feel or make a funny joke. You can talk 10 percent of the time and they can talk 90 percent of the time and they wont notice its even happening and they think they are having a conversation.

They ask a question about you then you say once sentence like. What do you do you give a one sentence answer vaguely describing what you do and then you instantly ask the question back to them and then they answer and you ask to expand to infinity. Do this with every question and they are talking to a question bot while thinking they are learning about you.

 

 

[Hojo]

@theleelajokerlol, if the image in thier mind is strong enough they will even deny reality to keep it up.

'Thats not the person I know!'

You dont know anyone lady you are making shit up in your head.

 

Edited 13 hours ago by Hojo

[theleelajoker]

2 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@theleelajokerlol, if the image in thier mind is strong enough they will even deny reality to keep it up.

So the women are doing what we all are doing with reality?   

Sticking to some kind of image in our head as long as we like the story, feel good and are entertained? 

[Hojo]

@theleelajokerPretty much and even when it dosent feel good we still do it. Men do it in ways of control and power and women do it with relationships. Something that is going on with society is that the ideas of power and control are being taken over and men cant obtain them anymore so they are having to go the womens route with relationships and its seriously fucking men up cause we dont know how to do it.

The entertained part is true the second you become fully unentertained by life you will stop existing. The karma is just a loop of what you specifically liked or didnt like. Once you become unentertained by both good and bad you are done.

Once you become fully devoid of entertainment of reality, all your shakti will leave and, you will merge with reality and see God. Kinda in the same way a relationship loses all entertainment and ends and you are left with something thats not the relationship.

Edited 13 hours ago by Hojo

[theleelajoker]

@Hojo

Interesting take. Really interesting. 

I agree on the "we do it even if we don't feel good".  I have enough examples to see that, including myself. 

The direction society is going - yeah did not see it that way but there is something to it. Gives a lot of basis to the incel and black pill stuff, you loose your way of getting things - control and power - and you don't know how to do it differently. So you get frustrated, scared, angry and direct it outwards. 

Quote

The entertained part is true the second you become fully unentertained by life you will stop existing. The karma is just a loop of what you specifically liked or didnt like. Once you become unentertained by both good and bad you are done.

So let's keep playing the game, shall we? : ) 

Edited 13 hours ago by theleelajoker

[Hojo]

@theleelajokerReality actually needs you to exist. If you do the same thing with it it will beg you to play with it. Thats what a meditator is trying to tell people. Reality will beg you to play with it if you ignore it.

Spirituality is ignoring shakti and seeing that its a sentient thing that need you to exist. 

If you want to play the womans made up story you keep playing. If you want to be king you sit there doing nothing and reality will beg you to respond.

One time smoking a blunt I entered a deep state really fast and I flew back into the void. While I was flying back I saw light trying to get my attention it was like an imaginary world saying look at me! Look at me! Pay attention to me! It took the form of stars with eyes begging me to play.

Edited 12 hours ago by Hojo

[Starlight321]

I'm a bit surprised. A woman I know just from one meet up at a friends house is looking for companionship this night. She is slightly crazy and she's gonna pick me up from the gym. Let's see whats gonna happen.. 

Edited 12 hours ago by Starlight321

[theleelajoker]

@Hojo Yes I had an experience like that on Friday. I just sat there, in a bar and everything felt ...strange. Energy flowing through my body. My legs were shaking. I did simply nothing, and it felt like stuff is suddenly offered to me out of nowhere. Drinks, a smoke, women flirting...

So you think it's a power play, again and again? Because sometimes it feels like it, but I just wonder if there is not a more constructive way to play more with and less against each other. Or maybe I am delusional even imagining that?

And just look at @starlight321 comment LOL Fits really well : ) 

Edited 12 hours ago by theleelajoker