Is It Still Realistic to Move to a Big City for Game When Affordability Is at Crisis?

[Hardkill]

It has been very clear to me in recent years that if you’re serious about improving your dating life — especially daygame or nightgame — the best move is to leave your small town and relocate to a big city like LA, NYC, Vegas, or London.

I understand that: more women, more variety, faster feedback, and better exposure. But here’s the issue…

We're living through one of the worst housing affordability crises in the entire developed world — and the epicenters of that crisis are the very cities guys are told to move to.

In the U.S., cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York have become financially unsustainable for many men — even for those making what used to be considered good middle-class incomes. A huge percentage of renters are cost-burdened, meaning they spend more than 30–50% of their income just on rent. And unlike places like Vienna, Berlin, or Tokyo, the U.S. doesn’t have strong public housing systems or rent controls to balance it out. Hell, U.S. Big Cities have become the worst of the worst or ground zero for the housing affordability crisis in the developed world.

Even suburbs or mid-sized cities near big metros (like Pasadena in LA) often don’t help much. I lived there for years, and while technically it had nightlife and population size, it lacked the sexual energy, social dynamics, and foot traffic needed for consistent game. It was expensive, very very frustrating, and low-yield.

So here’s what I’m really wondering:

Is it still wise or realistic for most men to move to major U.S. cities for dating/game — given how unaffordable and unstable those environments have become?

Or would it make more sense in 2025 and beyond to:

• Choose smaller, more strategic cities that balance affordability and dating volume?
• Do game in bursts through travel or event-based windows?
• Build your finances and remote income first before relocating?

I’m currently working toward a Doctor of Physical Therapy degree — so I’m not broke, but even on that income, LA or SF would require serious compromises. Curious what others here have done or recommend — especially anyone who’s made that big-city leap and had to navigate both the dating and financial terrain.

Edited Thursday at 08:05 PM by Hardkill

[Basman]

I'm just spitballing, but do you have to actually live in the inner city? Isn't sufficient to live in the suburbs if it's cheaper but close enough?

From my experience, living in the inner city is too noisy and lacks nature.

[Hardkill]

8 minutes ago, Basman said:

I'm just spitballing, but do you have to actually live in the inner city? Isn't sufficient to live in the suburbs if it's cheaper but close enough?

From my experience, living in the inner city is too noisy and lacks nature.

Good question. 

I would hope that that could work great.

[aurum]

25 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Is it still wise or realistic for most men to move to major U.S. cities for dating/game — given how unaffordable and unstable those environments have become?

If you're going to do serious cold approach, yes.

What most men can or can't do is irrelevant. It's about whether you personally can pull it off.

If you're a DPT, you should be fine. You can get a nice apartment with your salary.

I lived here for about 1800-2k a month: https://livealeamiami.com/

16 minutes ago, Basman said:

I'm just spitballing, but do you have to actually live in the inner city? Isn't sufficient to live in the suburbs if it's cheaper but close enough?

From my experience, living in the inner city is too noisy and lacks nature.

You can, but the suburbs also just make everything more inconvenient.

The more convenient you can make things, typically the better.

[Hardkill]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

If you're going to do serious cold approach, yes.

What most men can or can't do is irrelevant. It's about whether you personally can pull it off.

If you're a DPT, you should be fine. You can get a nice apartment with your salary.

I lived here for about 1800-2k a month: https://livealeamiami.com/

You can, but the suburbs also just make everything more inconvenient.

The more convenient you can make things, typically the better.

Thanks man — appreciate the perspective. Yeah, I’m not looking to dabble — I want to go deep with cold approach and push my edge, after I get this DPT degree down and out of the way.

Yeah, I actually had the thought in my head about how even living in a suburb would make everything more inconvenient as everything would still be logistically slower and more fragmented, especially for dating momentum, like you said. I lived in that city, Pasadena for years, which technically had a fair amount of nightlife, but it was still missing that social energy you get in places like downtown LA, WeHo, or even Miami Beach.

I’m also realistic about how much of my income would go toward rent, even on a DPT salary — especially if I want to avoid roommates. But I hear you: if the purpose is strong enough, it’s worth stretching a bit to make the logistics tight.

That Miami spot looks pretty solid, too. Although, I really don't think that living in a place like Miami will ever personally be for me. But I get your point. I'll definitely weigh some different cities for best game-to-cost ratio.

Edited Thursday at 10:14 PM by Hardkill

[Lyubov]

Many guys are getting priced out of dating 

[Leo Gura]

Vegas is still reasonably affordable.

Austin also not too bad.

Edited Friday at 01:25 AM by Leo Gura

[Hardkill]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Vegas is still reasonable affordable.

Austin also not too bad.

Oh, so even a middle-class or working-class guy could live comfortably in cities like that?

Edited Friday at 01:13 AM by Hardkill

[Hojo]

I'd say no.

[RendHeaven]

6 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Tokyo

I choose tokyo

I win!

[kray]

Austin is perfect for that kinda stuff

[Basman]

On 25/07/2025 at 4:24 AM, RendHeaven said:

I choose tokyo

I win!

I haven't heard many good things about Tokyo or Japan in general when it comes to gaming.