What it REALLY means for a man to integrate his Feminine side...

[Emerald]

I just had another exchange on here about the importance of men integrating their Feminine side. And I figured I should better clarify what I mean when I say that.

First off, it's important to note that you cannot add nor take away Femininity or Masculinity from yourself. They are basically the Yin and Yang of your personalties... and are innate to your core nature.

You either have the option to repress and reject one or both. Or you have the option to embrace and integrate one or both.

And if a man represses his Feminine side, his Feminine side doesn't diminish or go away. It actually comes through unconsciously to him... in its lower expressions, where a man with a repressed Feminine side might be more fragile, emotional, petty, bitter, catty, etc.

Think about Incels. They are poster-children for Feminine repression. But you can see all of these Shadow Feminine qualities coming through in their demeanor, as they are possessed by their Feminine side... as that's what happens when a quality gets repressed.

In contrast, if a man integrates his Feminine side he becomes warmer, more flexible, more socially adept, more attuned to his body, more mature, and more emotionally intelligent... as the positive expressions of the Feminine shine through. The positive Feminine is about softness, connection, people skills, connection to the body, and connection to the emotions.

And when people think about some of these positive qualities like social skills and attunement to the body, they attribute them to being Masculine on a cultural level. For example, going to the gym is through of as culturally Masculine

But attunement to the body and building more physical prowess is archetypally Feminine... and a reflection of Yin.

And that's because the Masculine is more about abstraction and the mind and all things non-physical... while the Feminine is about concreteness and all things physical... including the body.

So, it must be understood that an attractive guy is very well-integrated with his Feminine side.

And one thing that I see is that, the more resistant a man is to the Feminine in himself and in general, the less whole he feels. And he comes across as nerdy and fragile.

But the less resistance a man has to the Feminine in himself and in general, the more whole he feels. And he comes across as a lot more pleasant to be around and more attractive because he reads as more Masculine when he stops resisting these qualities.

So, when I talk about men integrating their Feminine side... I think a lot of guys are thinking I'm saying, "Act like a woman" or "Be an overly-emotional wuss."

But what I really mean is to drop resistance to the Feminine principle/Yin qualities and facets of yourself, such as...

• Your body
• Your emotions/feelings and vulnerabilities
• Your instincts
• Your intuition
• Your ordinariness and human-ness
• Your drive to connect and socialize
• Your inherent validity on the level of being (separating doing from your sense of worthiness)
• Your imperfections (and valuing imperfection in general)
• Your sovereignty
• Etc.

So, integrating the Feminine is a subtractive process of letting go of resistance to the archetypal and energetic Feminine that's already innate to you... and NOT an additive process of making yourself behave in more culturally Feminine ways.

And if you resist your Feminine side, it will stop your from connecting more deeply with your Masculine side... as the negative elements of the Feminine will possess you.

If you don't believe me. Go observe a guy who's really anti-Feminine and misogynistic... and you will find him acting quite a lot like the stereotype of a scorned bitter woman.

You can find a lot of these petty catty guys in the Red Pill community and on Incel forums.

Edited June 26 by Emerald

[samijiben]

Great read!

This really helps explain the Jungian psychology of anima & animus. Who even knows if Jung understood it like you do...

This is really important stuff. 

Though I don't really agree with one part, which is that going to the gym & developing physical prowess is purely feminine. 

Seems to be an example of when both come together??? (Masculine & feminine..)

Anyways, doesn't matter. This is awesome insight. Thanks Emerald.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, samijiben said:

Great read!

This really helps explain the Jungian psychology of anima & animus. Who even knows if Jung understood it like you do...

This is really important stuff. 

Though I don't really agree with one part, which is that going to the gym & developing physical prowess is purely feminine. 

Seems to be an example of when both come together??? (Masculine & feminine..)

Anyways, doesn't matter. This is awesome insight. Thanks Emerald.

Thank you!

To answer your question, the Masculine and Feminine are like Yin and Yang. And they always come together... as all things are truly "androgynous", containing both the Masculine and Feminine.

So, while physicality and the material world and the body is Feminine principled (Yin).... the movement the body makes is Masculine principled (Yang).

It's a bit like the ocean... where the water is archetypally Feminine... but the currents flowing through the water is archetypally Masculine.

And neither can be truly separated from one another.

Hence why a person who is in resistance to one principle will experience blocks to the opposite principle.

[samijiben]

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Thank you!

To answer your question, the Masculine and Feminine are like Yin and Yang. And they always come together... as all things are truly "androgynous", containing both the Masculine and Feminine.

So, while physicality and the material world and the body is Feminine principled (Yin).... the movement the body makes is Masculine principled (Yang).

It's a bit like the ocean... where the water is archetypally Feminine... but the currents flowing through the water is archetypally Masculine.

And neither can be truly separated from one another.

Hence why a person who is in resistance to one principle will experience blocks to the opposite principle.

Thanks! That makes sense!

No glaze lol, but I really admire your ability to explain shit well. It's fucking great! Have a good day!

[Sandhu]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Thank you!

To answer your question, the Masculine and Feminine are like Yin and Yang. And they always come together... as all things are truly "androgynous", containing both the Masculine and Feminine.

So, while physicality and the material world and the body is Feminine principled (Yin).... the movement the body makes is Masculine principled (Yang).

It's a bit like the ocean... where the water is archetypally Feminine... but the currents flowing through the water is archetypally Masculine.

And neither can be truly separated from one another.

Hence why a person who is in resistance to one principle will experience blocks to the opposite principle.

Fantasycal.

[Emerald]

11 hours ago, samijiben said:

Thanks! That makes sense!

No glaze lol, but I really admire your ability to explain shit well. It's fucking great! Have a good day!

Thank you! I really appreciate the encouraging words.

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, Sandhu said:

Fantasycal.

 

[Hojo]

When I was a child I used to stand with a limp wrist and womam called me gay now I hate women. Women still call me gay cause I stand and move around like a woman. Woman don't let men show their feminine side they attack them when they do it. Its easy to say men are suppressing their feminine but there is a reason. They get harassed when they do it by women.

Edited June 27 by Hojo

[Schizophonia]

8 minutes ago, Hojo said:

When I was a child I used to stand with a limp wrist and womam called me gay now I hate women. Women still call me gay cause I stand and move around like a woman. Woman don't let men show their feminine side they attack them when they do it.

Why are u gay

[Hojo]

@Schizophonia if you saw me you would probably think I was gay. I'm a handsome incel.

Edited June 27 by Hojo

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, Hojo said:

When I was a child I used to stand with a limp wrist and womam called me gay now I hate women. Women still call me gay cause I stand and move around like a woman. Woman don't let men show their feminine side they attack them when they do it.

Jokes aside they are just some mean people. 

[Emerald]

25 minutes ago, Hojo said:

When I was a child I used to stand with a limp wrist and womam called me gay now I hate women. Women still call me gay cause I stand and move around like a woman. Woman don't let men show their feminine side they attack them when they do it. Its easy to say men are suppressing their feminine but there is a reason. They get harassed when they do it by women.

So, because a woman called you gay, you now hate women in general? Doesn't that seem like a bit of an over-reaction when it was a specific person (or maybe a handful of people) who called you gay?

Also, men who resist their Feminine side tend to come across as less socially adept than men who don't resist their Feminine side... because the Feminine principle is reflective of softness while the Masculine principle is reflective of hardness. And the integration of the softness of the Feminine creates flexibility and resilience in the hardness of the Masculine.

And hardness without flexibility/resilience creates brittleness and fragility. But hardness integrated with flexibility/resilience creates firmness.

Another example like this is... imperfection is archetypally Feminine while perfection is archetypally Masculine. 

And a man who resists owning his imperfections will be much less socially adept and resilient than a man who can embrace his imperfections and laugh about them.

And these are just a couple of examples of how dropping resistance to the archetypal Feminine helps a man come across as more attractive (and be perceived as more Masculine through the eyes of culture)... and just feel better to be around in general.

[Hojo]

@Emerald Its like why are incels suppressing their feminine aspect and why do they hate women. Because women suppressed their feminine aspect and they are mad at them they cant do it. They are related to eachother. It happens to me even to this day and I'm 36 a woman asked me if I was gay yesterday. Incels are actually men who are very deeply connected to their feminine side but its being surppresed by what women have told them is gay for a man to do or act like how they naturally want to act and move.

They see a handsome man not oogling after them or other women and call them gay or assume its something wrong with the man. That's a projection of why isn't this man doing anything with all these women it must be something wrong with him he must be gay or something.

The worst thing an incel did was listen to women thats why he hates them.

Its more than a handful of women. Its like 1/3 1/4 of women.

The incel actually loves women and what women do but they rejected his femininity. So he hates them now. Like with any social group. 

I took a parenting class in high-school instead of shop cause I don't like shop. It was filled with women the women in the class assumed I was gay. Its constantly happening to men.

The incel feels like he belongs with women cause he is feminine  and the woman call him gay cause he's being feminine. It can get so bad that they become terrorists. Thats not me but I can see why it happens. It happens in any place you are not accepted for who you are.

Edited June 27 by Hojo

[Emerald]

@Hojo Well, if you do have a naturally more Feminine personality, they may have assumed in earnest that you're gay. But having a Feminine personality doesn't have to do with Feminine integration.

You can have a very Masculine guy who's integrated with his Feminine side... or a very Feminine guy who isn't integrated with his Feminine side.

Integration and repression don't change the "amount" of Femininity one has. That's an innate personality quality.

But metrosexual guys who have a more Feminine personality than average are often assumed to be gay, when they're not.

And that's not necessarily to be mean to you or anything if someone assumes that. There are people that I get a vibe about that's usually correct, but sometimes is incorrect.

Also, there is nothing wrong with being gay. It's not really an insult to be assumed gay, unless the person is homophobic themselves and intends it as such.

Also, Incels are not upset that women are repressing their Feminine side.

They're upset because women are Feminine... and these men feel powerless to a woman who is in touch with her Feminine side because of how much they've repressed the Feminine in themselves.

And it's the most Feminine women that these guys feel the MOST threatened by... and feel the MOST resentment towards.

They'll also beat up on women that they deem as un-Feminine and un-attractive... but that's only because they feel comforted in considering themselves "above" these un-Feminine/unattractive women.

So, these women become the "whipping boys" for their resentment towards and powerless feelings towards women they find attractive... and towards the Feminine more generally.

But they feel absolutely terrified of and bitter about Feminine women... and the power that Feminine women have over them, largely because they are so desperate for union with their own Feminine side.

So, it's important to understand that misogynistic men are not misogynistic because "women aren't Feminine anymore". Women are as Feminine as they've ever been... and more, as we're in a much more Feminine-integrated era than in times past.

They're misogynistic because they can't stand how powerless they feel towards the Feminine.

And they're saying "women aren't Feminine anymore" because they want to repress the real Feminine and put it back in the box of traditional Femininity that de-claws, tames, and strips the Feminine of all its power.

[Hojo]

@Emerald They become misogynistic because the group they identify with denied them. The same way lefties go right when left goes too far with judgment. 

Assuming someone is gay is a judgment. Making judgements about people makes them hates themselves. I beleive it is malicious because there is no reason to think about it at all. Never once have i called a woman gay or thought she was gay for sitting there being attractive. Only women do this.

They feel powerless towards their feminine because femininity denied them a chance to express their feminine.

Hate dosent come from maliciousness it comes from judgment toward your sincerity. Not once or twice but repeated over decades.

Woman are 100 percent more judgemental then men. They constantly have to make up narratives about other people in their mind.

They will make up stories about a handsome man that he must be gay before asking him out because they can't put their beauty in harms way. If the man rejects them then they will be hurt so just call him gay.

The man will just sit there and say wtf am I doing wrong I am just sitting here and woman keep calling me gay.

Imagine if everytime you expressed your masculinity a man said stop being a butch lesbian. This happens to you at least 500 times in your life. You would stop doing it and start hating men. You would scream from the rooftops about equality. Now add another man coming up to you and saying there is nothing wrong with being a butch lesbian. Like wtf?

The men would say we aren't being judgmental we are just curious. BS its malicious.

Edited June 28 by Hojo

[Basman]

I'm not gay I'm integrating my feminine.

[theleelajoker]

3 hours ago, Hojo said:

When I was a child I used to stand with a limp wrist and womam called me gay now I hate women. Women still call me gay cause I stand and move around like a woman. Woman don't let men show their feminine side they attack them when they do it. Its easy to say men are suppressing their feminine but there is a reason. They get harassed when they do it by women.

Generalizing and projecting IMO.

White? In my life I got sufficient attention from women and sometimes I asked them why they like me. Sometimes they specifically mentioned my softer, feminine energy. For me, its showing in my way of connecting, being social, listening to my intuition and being vulnerable. 

Not all women like me, and some might judge as you describe. But more then enough women do appreciate it. 

And before you draw any conclusions, I don't see myself as feminine guy and neither do my male friends or women I dated. The last woman specifically said she likes me because I am the opposite of her ex who was very feminine and a male friend once said that I am the most masculine friend he has. Do I think that there are more masculine men out there? Definitely! But I like the balance I have and women reward me for showing this side of me while still being different and masculine enough to be attractive for them as sexual partner. 

Which confirms the points emerald made in the OP - it's about balance and integration...

Edited June 28 by theleelajoker

[Natasha Tori Maru]

9 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

Which confirms the points emerald made in the OP - it's about balance and integration...

As I was reading I was about to comment you sound very balanced and integrated. And then this at the end 😊

Very refreshing to see 🙏

[Emerald]

40 minutes ago, Hojo said:

 

Imagine if everytime you expressed your masculinity a man said stop being a butch lesbian. This happens to you at least 500 times in your life. You would stop doing it and start hating men. You would scream from the rooftops about equality. Now add another man coming up to you and saying there is nothing wrong with being a butch lesbian. Like wtf?

I'm certainly no stranger to that kind of treatment. It happened often in my teen years and even back to elementary school that people would use lesbian as an insult towards me. (Note: I am bi-sexual, but I prefer men and I didn't acknowledge this about myself until I was 20.)

The nickname a lot of boys used to call me in middle school used to be "Elmo the lesbo".

I was also called "The Ogre"... which was a bit more mean-spirited as a way to call me ugly and manly. (BTW - I was like 5ft tall and pretty tiny back then. But boys would say it because I was always nervous and socially awkward and an easy target for bullying.)

So, being insulted by being called 'lesbian, manly, unattractive, etc.' probably happened to me... HUNDREDS of times. LITERALLY.

And it was quite common for peers to use butch or lesbian as an insult to girls as a way of calling them unattractive.

And I certainly don't hate all men because of the bullying that I experienced.

I don't even hate the guys that used to call me that back then. For a couple of them, we were sort of frenemies... and I'd usually shoot back some gay insult back at them.

One of the guys that used to call me "Elmo the lesbo" was this guy named Billy. And I'd always call him "Billy goat gayfer."

Like, he meant the insult and so did I... as homophobia was quite normalized at that time.

But it was also kind of banter and mutual roasting.

[Hojo]

@Emerald I am not talking about mutual roasting at all. I am talking about strangers or acquaintances you dont really know.

Edited June 28 by Hojo