Review Ending unnecessary Suffering by Peter Ralston

[Leo Gura]

You don't need to think it, you will suffer enormously just from being alive.

[Mellowmarsh]

Your birth was your death sentence.

 

[Breakingthewall]

21 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Breakingthewall "If you are open to the actual reality that is, every moment feels alive and full, there are no regrets because you act straight by default, relationship are clean without friction because freedom and truth are natural for you, and lie and submission are impossible, and death is seen as the open heart of reality where you are going to dissolve to be one with it. "

So how does that look like on a mundane day?

21 hours ago, OBEler said:

 

Alive and direct, open, full and beautiful, fluid, in comparison with a mental state of lack where you are pointing to yourself full time what is lack, what shouldn't happen, how should be everything.

If you are closed to your nature it's inevitable doing it because the mind needs a ground because it's isolated, disconnected, then it creates that ground pointing all time what is lack. It's an strategy to get balanced. 

Spirituality will tell you: stop doing it, it's a mistake, ego, reality is perfect, accept it. That's impossible. The self needs to be open to it's source to stop it,  if not it will do this activity because it needs it. 

[Joseph Maynor]

19 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

I think that usually people get interested in spirituality because they suffer, they can't adapt, they can't find their place in the world, or a tragedy has befallen them that they can't cope with, so they turn to spirituality.

The problem is that spirituality is a mess and is explained terribly. Current spirituality is a kind of dissociative anesthetic in which the person identifies with something larger, consciousness, which doesn't suffer but rather suffering happens within it, parallel to Tolle's ideas that tell you that suffering over the past or the future is a mistake because right now there is no problem.

So you can escape the mental error that is the ego simply by becoming aware of it. This is false, it doesn't work. It's a scam.

All I can say is I don't suffer very much after doing spirituality for 10 plus years.

[OBEler]

19 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

So you can escape the mental error that is the ego simply by becoming aware of it. This is false, it doesn't work. It's a scam.

So by becoming aware of it is not enough. Is it even possible? Do you see spirituality as a solution to reducing suffering as not working?

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, OBEler said:

So by becoming aware of it is not enough. Is it even possible? Do you see spirituality as a solution to reducing suffering as not working?

I think that the point is not being aware of the ego, but open yourself to the absolute fact of being, then the ego recalibrates itself and the suffering decreases greatly. 

Neurosis happens when your only ground is the psyche itself. Then it creates constantly a mental ground to maintain balance, and this constant flow is anxiety by default. 

Being open to the unlimited is not a ground, its being sustained by the fact of being. It could sounds simple but it isn't because psyche by default is oriented to be grounded by the tribe, collective, religion. By meaning and the idea of something bigger. Humans are hive being, then when the hive is not anymore a solid structure the psyche builds the structure. If its suffering, that's better than nothing. 

Edited Tuesday at 08:45 AM by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

On 28/7/2026 at 8:29 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

All I can say is I don't suffer very much after doing spirituality for 10 plus years.

Why you suffer less now, where is the difference? If you can explain 

[vibv]

On 28.7.2026 at 8:29 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

All I can say is I don't suffer very much after doing spirituality for 10 plus years.

You have to go deepah  ✨

[Breakingthewall]

Ralston makes a fundamental error, as does Tolle. For him, there is something in your mind called pure, unlimited consciousness, but you don't have access to it because you are constantly generating thoughts. If you learn to let go of those thoughts or stop identifying with them, you can access that state of consciousness.

The reality is different. Your mind, your thoughts, everything, is existence being; your mind doesn't contain that, it is that. The act of constantly generating thoughts doesn't close you off; rather, the fact of being closed by default to the absolute being forces the psyche to create a foundation by weaving a structure of constant mental flow, in order not to collapse.

The psyche cannot stop doing this; perhaps Ralston's and Tolle's can, due to their peculiarities, because they are open to the nature of being. But if you are not open, you won't achieve this by ceasing to think or identifying; rather, ceasing to need a foundation of mental flow will be a consequence of permanent openness to the nature of being.

[Breakingthewall]

The flow of thought is not the obstacle, but rather the mechanism of psychological equilibrium when the psyche is fully oriented toward the social matrix.

This is based on extremely powerful biological mechanisms, such as the absolute need for belonging and acceptance by the collective, which emerges with enormous force in adolescence.

It is a mechanism that creates civilizations and allows men to do things like the Battle of the Somme. It is not eliminated by looking at the gaps between thoughts. The process is different, you have to contemplate the absolute void of existence hour by our, day by day. Then meditate in the pure I am, absolutely empty of content. Then in some moment, the absolute opens up. The void is full, it is. It's a total change of phase of being.

Edited 10 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[OBEler]

@Breakingthewall I can now understand. Thank you, this helps a lot!

[Breakingthewall]

56 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Breakingthewall I can now understand. Thank you, this helps a lot!

Really? That's good to know that someone understand my point. In this matter nothing is proved, everything are subjetive impressions.

What I see is that absolutely all spirituality is wrong due a couple of concrete mistakes. And of course, according to my vision I'm absolutely right without deviation 😅. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I gotta say, Ralston's book and youtube talks on suffering really lead to a HUGE awakening for me.

Early last year...

I would say 80% reduction in my own self inflicted suffering.

No change in my emotions and feelings themselves - but a profound shift in how I relate to my emotions/feelings/thoughts.

Less resistance, less suppression - more acceptance and allowance. 

Self acceptance.

"stop doing it" for me, was to stop relating to the feelings/thoughts/emotions in the way I was - not "stop doing" the emotions/thoughts/feelings themselves.

[cetus]

@Natasha Tori Maru That inspired me to catch up on some Ralston wisdom on suffering.

The basic gist of it........

When you recognize suffering in the same way as boiling water you will stop putting your hand in it.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@cetus 

Recognising what was being "stopped" was the big pivot point.

I stopped how I was relating to certain feelings/emotions and thoughts (mind contractions) and I changed how I related to them. Slowly. Catching myself. Noticing. Practicing catching it. Over time it became a habit, and the effort going to awareness wasn't needed. So much mind-space, energy and clarity was gained because I was not contributing any energy to these old ways of relating. Life became substantially more effortless. I have no resistance to the quotidian nature of anything.

It had nothing to do with attending to the suffering itself, or the feeling/thought/emotion. There is no stopping thoughts, feelings & emotions. There is only affecting how we relate to them. 

Once I was able to see how I was relating, I aimed to change the relationship. And I did. The shift has been permanent.

I hope these words can help others as much as they did me, when understanding Ralston & their own relationship to their patterns. 

A true side effect; I feel emotions and feelings so much MORE. With more clarity. More compassion. Even thoughts are cleaner, clearer. With no energy being diverted into uselessness - life is effortless motion.

There will always be suffering. Always. 

But a huge portion of it is self generated.

[Joseph Maynor]

14 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

Why you suffer less now, where is the difference? If you can explain 

I realize I am creating the suffering.

[AION]

If you know Ken Wilber’s stuff like the back off your hand, Ralston even slaps different.  Ralston is good but sometimes he makes it too complicated. And one can drown in all of his examples. 

Edited 2 hours ago by AION

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Ralson's work can't be simplified, fed into AI and summarised. Reduced. 

It is arrogant to think we can grasp what he is saying this way.

There are no shortcuts.

Even one page of his Book of Not Knowing can be read, re-read. Over and over. More is received each reading. I particularly adore his passages on meditation / contemplation assignments. 

I still remain confused with him regarding Love. It's my biggest point of difference with him.

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[AION]

@Natasha Tori Maru I doubt that. I contemplated Ralston’s work for hours with AI and did the exercises together with AI. You only consumed the book. I would be surprised if you could mog me. 

Edited 2 hours ago by AION

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@AION

Surprise!