Why Women Prefer Betas

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, integral said:

What do you consider mature?

Even when healthy, anyone that has not reached Tier 2 is very immature, their psyche is held together by coping mechanisms.

Everyone I dated or met is lost in judgments, lost in fighting the world, lost in disliking something happening in front of them, non of them know how an emotion is created within the body and them projected externally, lost in every story, dislikes a long list of things.

I need to date Tier 1 and I need to heavily adapt 60 to 80% of the time.

So right now I just settled for romantic compatibility, stage green, communication compatibility.

The negative is of course your dating Tier 1 woman that have a crisis once a week and they're projecting their emotions onto you, and every week you must diffuse them. lol

It doesn't matter if they're healthy or not or mature or not, they're not conscious enough to understand they are causing all of their own problems. 

Tier 2 is the basic threshold to becoming mature.

I am not met a Tier 2 woman (irl), it's just not practical for me to have expectations to date them

It's not about what I personally consider mature.

You said that you tend to date more immature women in your post. I was just responding to that and asking you if it was a preference or a scarcity thing.

But being Tier 1 doesn't mean someone is immature. There are plenty of mature Stage Blue people even. 

[BlessedLion]

I think I’m done with Dr. K. I unsubscribed from his videos. He seems to be taking this new position of promoting being average and giving up on trying to do anything great in life or having a vision. His latest video “Why Most Men Never Grow Up” made little to no sense to me, and coupled with this latest “Women Love Betas” one it’s proven to me he is on a different take than I agree with.

 

He scoffs at using yoga or meditation to transcend what I would consider monkey games

He promotes drugery, settling down with any woman (don’t try to get a beautiful girlfriend, lower your standards), don’t view yourself as the Hero in your own life (why not? I think you must when you consider everything you’re up against in this insane society), having a boring average job (this is being mature!), and basically throwing in the towel on trying to do something great and profound with your life. 
 

Along with this Beta video, I’m still unsure- what’s the solution here? Be average? Plug into a social structure that keeps people miserable, drained, and lonely? 
 

Fuck that, I believe in tapping into and expanding your power. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be where I’m at today, dating models, financially free, living my purpose, healthy, disciplined, autonomous and fully authentic
 

Not my cup of tea anymore and I don’t think it’s what we should be promoting. 

 

[BlessedLion]

On 6/11/2025 at 9:23 PM, Emerald said:

What I mean by "running away from themselves", is men who feel like they are inadequate in the eyes of women. And they feel like they have to be some hyper-Masculine alpha guy to get women.

So, they either try to become that guy and succeed (like some RSD coach pick-up guy who has sex with hundreds of women).... or try to become that guy and convince themselves they've succeeded when they've actually failed (like a lot of Redpill guys)... or try to become that guy and fail and wallow in the failure (like Incels).

And even though the expressions are different, all three of these outcomes arises from insecurity and a neediness for female validation.

Definitely agree with this but I’m not sure if how Dr. K positions it is akin to what you’re saying. It almost seems like he is bashing on the guy on the right who became disciplined and got his health in check and a ripped physique. 
 

It does depend for sure where that motivation comes from but full honesty, for most men it starts as some form of insecurity especially in their 20s and once they feel disciplined and empowered it becomes more of a joy. 
 

For example the guy in Dr. Ks example may have needed to build that body to feel more wanted by women or alpha or whatever then after he moves through that phase he’s can relax and little and just enjoy it because it’s healthy. Just my take- interesting convo though. 

[integral]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

That's not really the case.

You can have maturity at lower stages.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

But being Tier 1 doesn't mean someone is immature. There are plenty of mature Stage Blue people even. 

In practice it's not like this, people are lopsided in their intellect, people are unstable depending on circumstances.

A mature person is not like a statue were they're simply mature and that's it.

To love someone you need a level of non-judgmentalism that tier 1 just can't do in practice.

Sure I could find a mature stage Blue Woman but then we're likely not compatible in many areas, she might be romantically suppressed.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

You said that you tend to date more immature women in your post. I was just responding to that and asking you if it was a preference or a scarcity thing.

Where am I going to find mature woman?

What do they look like? I have never seen one irl.

I had 10 long-term relationships, none of them were mature.

My current girlfriend is immature, but we have high romance compatibility, high communication compatibility and she will follow the right path reasonably. But she still blames me for every emotion she experiences, until I defuse her with love.

Diversity exists, the world is not idealism.

As a man to find a mature person takes serious hard work, unless you get lucky through random chance

Edited June 13 by integral

[Puer Aeternus]

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

He promotes drugery, settling down with any woman (don’t try to get a beautiful girlfriend, lower your standards), don’t view yourself as the Hero in your own life (why not? I think you must when you consider everything you’re up against in this insane society), having a boring average job (this is being mature!), and basically throwing in the towel on trying to do something great and profound with your life. 
 

Meh, just sounds like he's making content for the average person. Most folks will be average, not self-actualizers. Not surprising he's moving in this direction.

 

Probably decent for people who want to stabilize on that level and grow through it. Ultimately average seeking people will be drawn to it and those seeking something more will go elsewhere. As you have! 

[Jacob Morres]

1 hour ago, BlessedLion said:

Along with this Beta video, I’m still unsure- what’s the solution here? Be average? Plug into a social structure that keeps people miserable, drained, and lonely? 

.

dr k has a lot of good wisdom though i've learned a lot. prob just take what you like and discard what you dont imo. 

Edited June 13 by Jacob Morres

[Princess Arabia]

24 minutes ago, integral said:

I had 10 long-term relationships,

Damn, how friggin' old are you. Those long-terms for you must have been between one and two years.

[aurum]

20 minutes ago, integral said:

In practice it's not like this, people are lopsided in their intellect, people are unstable depending on circumstances.

A mature person is not like a statue were they're simply mature and that's it.

To love someone you need a level of non-judgmentalism that tier 1 just can't do in practice.

Sure I could find a mature stage Blue Woman but then we're likely not compatible in many areas, she might be romantically suppressed.

Sure, you might not be compatible with SD Blue. But SD Green is realistic.

Tier 1 can love someone genuinely and strongly. In fact, in some ways Tier 1 love can be better because it's more contracted.

Contracted love is what you need for relationships, not infinite love. The whole goal of a relationship is to make that person special and to love them in a unique way you don't love others.

It's not right to put too much pressure on your romantic partner's development. Their job is basically just to be your partner in raising kids and be a companion as you get older. 

You don't need a SD Turquoise business partner, and you don't need an SD Turquoise romantic partner.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Damn, how friggin' old are you. Those long-terms for you must have been between one and two years.

💀 

I guess long term means something different for everyone. Long term for me is 4+ years 

Longest I've experienced is 8 years, shortest 2.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

💀 

I guess long term means something different for everyone. Long term for me is 4+ years 

Longest I've experienced is 8 years, shortest 2.

Yeah, but he said 10. So, if 2yrs x10 that's 20yrs of relationships without a break in-between and in succession. 2yrs to me isn't even long-term and anyone with 10 I doubt thinks that's long-term either. Anyway, seems like he's 80yrs old, lol. Exaggeration, of course.

[integral]

30 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Damn, how friggin' old are you. Those long-terms for you must have been between one and two years.

lmao yeah I made a mistake when I wrote that.

6: 6 month - 1 years

3: 2 years - 3 years

1: 5 years

And there was break in-between all of them, it feels like I've always been single actually lmao

im 36.

I never actually thought about it, but I always magically find another relationship to be in.

Edited June 14 by integral

[integral]

37 minutes ago, aurum said:

You don't need a SD Turquoise business partner, and you don't need an SD Turquoise romantic partner.

What I'm saying is there's no mature people, relationships are more about finding compatibility through all the imperfections.

I'm being asked: why don't I date a mature person?

It's like asking: why don't you just buy one at Walmart? lol

Edited June 14 by integral

[Princess Arabia]

43 minutes ago, integral said:

im 36.

Ok. Still, you're a relationship machine. Still, seem to be doing something wrong....or right...depending on how one looks at it. Doesn't matter. You seem to attract them.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, integral said:

I never actually thought about it, but I always magically find another relationship to be in.

Definitely not saying this is true for you - but this was my experience until all my unconscious behaviors/issues were resolved.

I had a relationship that was like being a dog and having my face rubbed in my own shit. And I mean a fucken horrible realization I was a complete piece of turd.

After that, I just don't click with any of the sorts of previous partners I was with.

I see unconscious behavior is almost everyone, and it's a big turn off. Attachment issues, trauma, father or mother issues. Addiction. Within a few weeks of knowing someone I can see the root issue from the pattern of behavior. Words don't mean shit to me at all anymore. I only look at action.

This has led to my current state: foreveralone

I am still seeking, but I am much more discerning than ever.

[aurum]

2 hours ago, integral said:

What I'm saying is there's no mature people, relationships are more about finding compatibility through all the imperfections.

I'm being asked: why don't I date a mature person?

It's like asking: why don't you just buy one at Walmart? lol

But you can find mature people, as long as you don't set your expectations for "maturity" absurdly high.

There are many mature women at Green. If you lived in a relatively Green city or country, you'd find tons of them.

Edited June 14 by aurum

[aurum]

24 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I only look at action.

What does "action" look like for you?

We need more perspectives from mature women on the forum.

[Puer Aeternus]

25 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I see unconscious behavior is almost everyone, and it's a big turn off. Attachment issues, trauma, father or mother issues. Addiction. Within a few weeks of knowing someone I can see the root issue from the pattern of behavior.

Sounds like a lucrative, spicy potential side gig! Bringing people to their knees, telling them all their problems. Transmuting their shit to fertilizer so they may rise up and become a truly rare specimen..

An actually healthy, functional human!

I'm only sorta kidding, trying to improve from default turd state is like self-deception whack-a-mole. Boop one turd down, but then three more appear! Getting cheat codes wouldn't solve, but rather simplify the process a lot.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

4 minutes ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Sounds like a lucrative, spicy potential side gig! Bringing people to their knees, telling them all their problems. Transmuting their shit to fertilizer so they may rise up and become a truly rare specimen..

An actually healthy, functional human!

I'm only sorta kidding, trying to improve from default turd state is like self-deception whack-a-mole. Boop one turd down, but then three more appear! Getting cheat codes wouldn't solve, but rather simplify the process a lot.

Honestly this is it though - it's an unending fucking turd fest. Its giving plumber mode.

Every time one is found, I turn to find I am the dog shitting them out in a line.

Only, I own myself, so I have to bloody bag them up! 

I suppose this is what we call responsibility

[Puer Aeternus]

32 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Honestly this is it though - it's an unending fucking turd fest. Its giving plumber mode.

Every time one is found, I turn to find I am the dog shitting them out in a line.

Only, I own myself, so I have to bloody bag them up! 

I suppose this is what we call responsibility

Loool, the infinite factory line, bagging them yourself, so true!

And to think. All these years I thought it was just delicious chocolate ice cream! Couldn't get enough of it!

Felt so betrayed to see the hoes scamper away in fear when they saw it caked all over my face.

You can truly concoct an amusing freakfest of a sentence and I'm here for it.

 

Edited June 14 by Puer Aeternus

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

What does "action" look like for you?

We need more perspectives from mature women on the forum.

I consider actions as the body language of truth. But I will add - actions should align with words.

Words are on air, in paper, on a forum. Actions exist in that they impact people, systems & environments. And while words can have impact, they are a fart in the wind compared to action. Words can point to meaning, but its actions that create meaning.

What you say and what do must align. This is when someone has congruency internally. Words can lie, but actions reveal. Just look at the turdfest that is reddit - it's full of words that postulate, flatter, or manipulate. Approval seeking, virtue signaling.

Consistent action/behavior shows actual values, beliefs, and priorities. If we apply this discernment in seeking maturity and self-awareness in others, we need to watch their patterns of behavior. This requires time and experience with the person, but also objective observation - which can be difficult if you are emotionally immature/unconscious and looking for something ie confirmation bias. This can be why you will attract the wrong person into your life. That unconscious will control the trajectory of your life until you make it conscious.

I don't want to know anything about a person's past. I want to see them now. Words can create a false sense of closeness - especially if you are expressing trauma, as to be 'seen' is powerful, and can accelerate bonding without truly assessing character. Beware of text - it gives the person time to craft a false identity in lieu of body language, tone and actions.

Actions that show someone is conscious (not an exhaustive list): In argument, choosing not to react in anger. Care or service with no intention for it to be returned. Sacrifice. Owning mistakes quickly, no blame shifting. Saying no and not doing something without guilt - truth over approval. Delaying gratification - discipline. Following through with promises (words and actions aligning). And the biggest measure for character for me personally? Doing the right thing when no one's watching. Forgetting about the inconvenience of the action, but proceeding because it is RIGHT. 

Edited June 14 by Natasha Tori Maru