Trying to Understand the Blackpill

[aurum]

I’ve been reflecting on why some guys get stuck in blackpill thinking and why it feels so alien to me.

In doing so, I’ve realized I had a lot more advantages in dating than I ever thought.

For most of my life, dating just felt normal. It was assumed. I was plugged into an invisible social pipeline that gave me chances to learn, fail, and keep going, even when I didn’t recognize it at the time.

As early as sixth grade, my friends and I were daring each other to talk to girls at middle school dances. I still remember the look on her face when I took my first real "rejection". It hurt like hell. But the social pipeline helped keep things moving. It normalized the experience. Over time, things turned from...

middle school dances and hiding first kisses...

to high school sweethearts and proms...

to college parties and fraternity formals...

to nightclubs and summer flings in Miami.

That was reality for me.

I didn’t even hear about the "pills" until I was near the end of college. By then, I’d already lived through a dozen emotional arcs. Some good, some bad, some confusing, some transformative.

But for many blackpill guys, those chapters never started. You had little or none of the experiences I just described. You feel left out, like no woman wants you, and life just isn’t fair.

And truthfully, you’re not wrong.

Is it fair that I had these experiences and you didn’t? That others seem to get what you want while you watch from the sidelines? Not particularly. But that’s how it played out.

My goal now is to be more empathetic and to notice how my own upbringing shapes the way I see all of this.

I don’t think the blackpill is crazy. It’s built on a set of experiences I didn’t live.

But if I could offer you one thing, it wouldn’t be advice. It’d be a night out. A chance to see what’s possible. No guarantees. Just something to test the story you’ve been told.

[Leo Gura]

Most blackpill guys have serious childhood trauma, abuse, broken families, missing parents, evil mothers, drug addict parents, poverty, depression, mental illness, chemical imbalance, low education, low IQ, low physical appearance, terrible social skills, profound introversion, autism, Aspergers, zero social experience, bad ideological indoctrination.

Yeah, you cannot imagine how bad it is. It's way worse than what you imagine. If you knew their childhoods and life experiences you would be horrified and their beliefs would make perfect sense to you.

These people live in hell and depression and dream of suicide or killing women. It's a sick, sinister, dark form of consciousness. You could almost call it satanic energy.

Blackpill is built on a painful toxic upbringing that creates seething anger and nihilistic apathy.

Normal social guys cannot understand such things. It's like another world. A dark bleak world of trauma and misery with no hope, no redemption. A black hole of self-hatred.

Your life has been too good, too loving to understand. No one hurt you enough, young enough. You had a decent family. You had good genetics. You had a social life.

Edited June 6 by Leo Gura

[meta_male]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Normal social guys cannot understand such things. It's like another world. A dark bleak world of trauma and misery with no hope, no redemption. A black hole of self-hatred.

And if you manage to get your ass out of this shithole it does not give you any applause, no pat on the shoulder, just silence. Hence why they stay in it and never get out.

 

 

[aurum]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Most blackpill guys have serious childhood trauma, abuse, broken families, missing parents, evil mothers, drug addict parents, poverty, depression, mental illness, chemical imbalance, low education, low IQ, low physical appearance, terrible social skills, profound introversion, autism, aspbergers, zero social experience, bad ideological indoctrination.

Yeah, you cannot imagine how bad it is. It's way worse than what you imagine. If you knew their childhoods and life experiences you would be horrified and their beliefs would make perfect sense to you.

These people live in hell and depression and dream of suicide or killing women. It's a sick, sinister, dark form of consciousness. You could almost call it satanic energy.

Blackpill is built on a painful toxic upbringing that creates seething anger and nihilistic apathy.

Normal social guys cannot understand such things. It's like another world. A dark bleak world of trauma and misery with no hope, no redemption. A black hole of self-hatred.

Your life has been too good, too loving to understand. No one hurt you enough, young enough. You had a decent family. You had good genetics. You had a social life.

That sounds right.

In the past, I have succeeded in helping guys who lacked experience and self-confidence. Guys who, at a minimum, were willing to come out to a bar or nightclub. Even if they were awkward or somewhat socially uncalibrated.

But with most of these blackpill guys, you can't even get that.

You can't even get them to admit that they should want to improve themselves. So there's just no hope. Which of course is what they want. They don't want hope, hope is too vulnerable for them.

I appreciate your insight.

[aurum]

9 hours ago, meta_male said:

And if you manage to get your ass out of this shithole it does not give you any applause, no pat on the shoulder, just silence. Hence why they stay in it and never get out.

Do you not see getting out of the shithole as its own reward?

Like, “hey, I’m not in this shithole anymore. That’s an improvement”.

[Leo Gura]

Some of them are so far gone they like the shithole.

[BlessedLion]

13 hours ago, aurum said:

middle school dances and hiding first kisses...

to high school sweethearts and proms...

to college parties and fraternity formals...

to nightclubs and summer flings in Miami.

Sounds exactly like my path with dating/sex. 
 

Except replace Miami with Bali, Rio, Mazunte- but yeah. 
 

I’ve always done better than most of my peers in terms of dating and getting laid. And I even feel that pursuing consciousness and my life purpose has likely led to me giving up thousands of potential sex filled nights, but hey, that’s just the sacrifice of doing something meaningful. 
 

Wasn’t without its shadow and tough times but I can look back at some of the women I’ve dated with gratitude, most guys only dream of getting attention from girls that attractive. 
 

I don’t understand Black Pill, I find it quite pathetic and unnecessary. I’ve had my share of trauma and decided to not let it define me, create what I wanted to and put my own nuts on the chopping board in terms of rejection and healing. For every dime I’ve dated or slept with, there are 50-100 no’s. 
 

So while I understand they have trauma and hard upbringings, I don’t think it warrants giving up and being a nihilistic victim. They are creating their own hell. 
 

Plenty of people have overcome much worse and created powerful and happy lives, I don’t buy their victim hood. Especially if they have functioning bodies, health, and minds. 
 

I hope they can realize that in life, because one thing is for sure, no one comes to save you - you have to pull your own ass out of the mud. 

[Miguel1]

@BlessedLion You underestimate how dark the human life can get.

Also, a lot of people just don’t have the ambition and motivation to break out of such hell, and to build a beautiful life for themselves.

[AION]

Nobody actually cares about men’s issues in the same way society cares about women’s issues. Their problems can’t be solved with just taking them out for a couple of times.  It requires a lot of compassion and dedication and getting through defense mechanisms. Nobody is going to do that work for free. 

Edited June 6 by AION

[Hojo]

There is a thing called the light world and a thing called the dark world. Light world is reality and dark world is in your head. Black pill live in the dark world. They are constantly thinking thinking thinking eventually the thinking comes to conclusions that are not happening right now. This is karma. Its like fucking yourself over for things that have happened to you not whats happening. Once you get trapped in the dark world only you can think yourself out. This usually requires an awakening.

Edited June 6 by Hojo

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, Hojo said:

dark world is in your head

No, dark world is just as real.

Imagine you are  5 year old child in Gaza today and your family all died in a bombing.

That's REAL. You've just been so lucky in life that you don't know that world exists.

Edited June 6 by Leo Gura

[BlessedLion]

22 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

@BlessedLion You underestimate how dark the human life can get.

Also, a lot of people just don’t have the ambition and motivation to break out of such hell, and to build a beautiful life for themselves.

Yeah. After reconsidering it I’m probably being a bit too harsh. 
 

I just don’t like the idea of slipping into a victim mentality and using that as a reason to not improve one’s situation. I don’t think the majority of black pillers have some really horrible trauma or life situation, it’s just easy to give up hope or be a victim after being rejected a few times.  
 

But some people have been dealt really tough cards and it’s near impossible to get out of that. 

[Hojo]

@Leo Gura Are you saying a person in light world and a person in dark world can't be in the same room?

Rumination anxiety depression are dark world. They exist just as much as light world to the individual. Bombs exploding in light is not dark world. The fear that comes with it is dark world.

If you are schizophrenic the schizophrenia is in the dark world and that happens because you live in your head and are not paying attention to the light world.

Edited June 6 by Hojo

[AION]

Everybody has this core of innocence in them. Even black pill people:

[Never_give_up]

I am 5'6 feet, I have been discriminated by a ton of people cause of my height, including authority figures repeatedly, I have been beaten and humiliated in school by sociopaths/sadists for years, I have been beaten at home for breathing repeatedly, I have very low IQ (I was good only in informatics that I had a talent, I tried 2 times to pass exams for a university and failed no matter how hard I tried), I have been diagnosed with autism and it could be the case that the diagnosis was right, people just don't like you at 5'6 and treat you badly, especially when you are asocial and this is your experience plently of the time in your life. Last 5 years I have ADHD(self diagnosed) and addictions cause of this life that have made me completely unnatractive and simply a loser.

Now you tell me why I think black pill is real. Could it be because it's true? Nah, it couldn't be that. It couldn't be the case that I was discriminated cause of height, it must be my imagination, discrimination isn't real and if it is , it couldn't be so bad. Right?

Blackpillers have extremely negative views, and society extremely positive views, but I see more hypocricy in the normie worldview.

Existentially you could say it's all determinism, bad karma. The truth is that I have good analytical skills and existential curiosity. In the rest of the traits, I am cursed. Half the problem is people don't like me for being short, another half is my low IQ neuro divergent problem. It's just a tragedy haha. 

I have gone to clubs, I tried to be social. It works, but you have to do a ton of stuff to get low results. No thanks. 

 

 

[BlessedLion]

 

7 minutes ago, AION said:

Everybody has this core of innocence in them. Even black pill people:

Yes. I wish everyone could just feel love and peace. Beyond dating, getting laid, making money- because even these are false metrics of worth and success. 
 

I truly feel for people in tough situations, but you can never give up hope- your why. I believe beginning to work towards a vision and purpose is far more powerful than any therapy or group talk- people need to connect to their why

[BlessedLion]

1 minute ago, Never_give_up said:

I am 5'6 feet, I have been discriminated by a ton of people cause of my height, including authority figures repeatedly, I have been beaten and humiliated in school by sociopaths/sadists for years, I have been beaten at home for breathing repeatedly, I have very low IQ (I was good only in informatics that I had a talent, I tried 2 times to pass exams for a university and failed no matter how hard I tried), I have been diagnosed with autism and it could be the case that the diagnosis was right, people just don't like you at 5'6 and treat you badly, especially when you are asocial and this is your experience plently of the time in your life. Last 5 years I have ADHD(self diagnosed) and addictions cause of this life that have made me completely unnatractive and simply a loser.

Now you tell me why I think black pill is real. Could it be because it's true? Nah, it couldn't be that. It couldn't be the case that I was discriminated cause of height, it must be my imagination, discrimination isn't real and if it is , it couldn't be so bad. Right?

Blackpillers have extremely negative views, and society extremely positive views, but I see more hypocricy in the normie worldview.

Existentially you could say it's all determinism, bad karma. The truth is that I have good analytical skills and existential curiosity. In the rest of the traits, I am cursed. Half the problem is people don't like me for being short, another half is my low IQ neuro divergent problem. It's just a tragedy haha. 

I have gone to clubs, I tried to be social. It works, but you have to do a ton of stuff to get low results. No thanks. 

 

 

What brings you joy beyond dating results? 
 

Do you depend your happiness on people and how they react to you? 
 

Is there anything you can get passionate about that has no dependency on other people and what they think? 

[Never_give_up]

@BlessedLionMy life is completely destroyed objectively speaking. I am just waiting to be deleted. The only joy I have is art, I draw when I feel like it, but I am compelety talentless.

People are very social, so they can't be happy when they are ''rejected by the tribe''. 

I would say art is the only thing I like, but even that makes you feel depressed when you know you are talentless (especially when you suspect it's cause of low IQ).

 

I need to change my life and I try but my addictions don't help me. Sorry for the previous post, I needed to vent.

[BlessedLion]

No problem I actually appreciate your vulnerability and honesty/realness.

 

Maybe I’m wired different, but I gave up on fitting into the tribe a while ago, it longer fulfills me- I find human interactions quite shallow. 
 

Sure we all want to be liked/accepted but I don’t think it needs to define us.

 

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. So yeah, throw on some music, grab a nice coffee and draw- for your own sake. 
 

Anyway, just my advice, I feel I could be quite happy living a life of solitude. But if you want to be social I’m sure you can find the right people, typically spiritual communities look beyond just height, personality, etc and value you as a human  

 

[Never_give_up]

@BlessedLionmaybe I should stop being so bitter about my traumas and just draw and have fun. Thank you for trying to help. Your suggestions and way of thinking is helpful.