How do you cope with man-children?

[Alexop]

Minute 17:00. In the feminist utopia: 40% of women exposed to violence. 

Now of course they will double down and say it is because of not enough gender equality. WHO the hell do you think will molest more children and beat more women? A creepy lonely incel underdeveloped nice guy, or a developed mature masculine man? And this is why they will go beyond the evidence based justice system to mob justice.

Edited May 30 by Alexop

[carterfelder]

On 5/29/2025 at 2:14 AM, Emerald said:

100%

All this obsession with Masculinity and the idea that "men aren't Masculine anymore" is just rooted in insecurity and a rejection of the value of "Be yourself" as they feel that that is not good enough.

And that on its own is human and wouldn't be so bad if it weren't causing so many problems in society.... and actively exacerbating the very issues with women that these guys are having.

And PsychHacks is definitely a hug box for insecure men. But anyone who takes that guy's perspectives seriously is just going to stay stuck in the same issues.

I've watched a few of his videos and his formula is basically, "Here's some advice for men to show them how empowered they are compared to women. And here's some advice for women to show them how disempowered they are compared to men and how everything is their fault and how they should settle for what they can get quickly before they lose out entirely because 'high quality guys won't settle for you'."

But of course, the intended target audience for the latter advice is not ACTUALLY for women at all.

It's just to make men feel validated, vindicated, empowered, and right so that they get to scapegoat women and avoid facing personal responsibility for their own romantic and social issues.

It's really well-encapsulated in the sentiment of blaming women's 'unreasonable standards' for the male loneliness epidemic. All blame and no personal responsibility.

I agree with you about PsycHacks, Emerald. I can feel the anger in Orion's videos. His videos may help men release their people-pleasing programs and modern dating frustrations, but not in guiding them toward self-love and self-knowledge in order to date in a more careful, love-focused way.

Edited June 23 by carterfelder

[Aaron p]

1st and 2nd wave feminism is cool but 3rd wave feminism is ballsack

[SOUL]

Brainwashing is when other people think and believe things different than you like but when you want to change them and society to think and believe as you do it's not brainwashing at all, it's 'freedom'.

The cope delusion is rampant.

[Ulax]

I get that in part. 
A sense that this core part of being a man is being socialised away and that core part can make life epic. And not just for you but for others too! And the fact that it seems like society is preventing the flourishing of men.

But I feel your views discount the positives of these kinds of nice guys. Pleasant and respectful to be around, have been socialised to not cause emotional harm to people and wait until they get to know people better before making being more controversial. So are more compassionate and empathetic. Though I understand that can often come from fear too.

Maybe sometimes these guys are more boring. But I generally prefer boring and polite, than asshole dudes who are more fun. Maybe this is a bit of a false dichotomy but I hope you can see my point. 

Imo as a young dude it’s easy to sort of demonise the nice parts of yourself or parts that play it safe as you work on trying to become more attractive with the opposite sex and become effective in the world. But I dunno I think those qualities are valuable too in their own way, and aiming for more internal integration rather than transformation is better.

So overall, to answer your question, I cope with these man-children by seeing positives in them. As well as acknowledging some of the irritations.

Edited June 26 by Ulax

[Ulax]

On 29/05/2025 at 7:32 AM, Emerald said:

And you're blaming the boringness, lack of initiative, lack of drive, lack of charm, and laziness (which are negative qualities that many men have had throughout the entirety of human history) on the fact that a percentage of contemporary men aren't consciously striving to match up to some Masculine standard?

I believe that's your argument because you said, "The vikings are gone because they don't want to grow pussies" and "Nowadays it's all soy boys!" or something crazy like that.

If that's your argument... rest assured, TONS of men are trying to be the same kind of hyper-Masculine guy. And it doesn't help them transcend these issues one little bit. 

And women are NOT interested in that hyper-Masculine guy that all these men are aspiring to be.

And I've noticed that men who are the most obsessed with Masculinity tend to have these problems a lot more than the average guy who just doesn't think too much about being a manly man.

The most functional men that I've come across are unapologetically themselves and don't give a rip about what's Masculine or not. And they're certainly not pearl clutching about how "There are no manly men anymore!"

I agree with some of what you say. But I think it does somewhat help guys with their issues. It’s not so black or white an answer as I think your comment suggests. 
 

A lot of the hyper masculine stuff centres around taking more personal responsibility and taking action. And I think that can help people somewhat improve in things like dating and what not. On the other hand, it usually leads to a fragmented mind full of disowned parts of self and a certain narcissism that can make relationships difficult and lead to various serious emotional issues imo too.

[Twentyfirst]

 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

I agree with some of what you say. But I think it does somewhat help guys with their issues. It’s not so black or white an answer as I think your comment suggests. 

A lot of the hyper masculine stuff centres around taking more personal responsibility and taking action. And I think that can help people somewhat improve in things like dating and what not. On the other hand, it usually leads to a fragmented mind full of disowned parts of self and a certain narcissism that can make relationships difficult and lead to various serious emotional issues imo too.

Certainly responsibility and action taking are positive qualities.

I just don't see any evidence of this manly man stuff actually leading out to greater levels of personal responsibility and action.

And these are things that I've learned in the process of growing up and developing a strong work ethic in my teen years, without any gender ideology attached to it.

[Emerald]

On 5/30/2025 at 2:40 PM, Alexop said:

Minute 17:00. In the feminist utopia: 40% of women exposed to violence. 

That's probably on the lower end in terms of gender-violence if we're talking about that as a broad umbrella of gendered violence from sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, etc.

I honestly can't even fathom of being female and having never experienced some form of sexual harassment or being touched against our will, at the very least.

And roughly 1 in 5 women are raped in their lifetime in the United States... which is 20%.

But if we're including sexual harassment and domestic violence more generally, I'm sure that that rate goes up to 40% and beyond.

You just don't have a clear sense of how prevalent the issue is. So, you think this is a "Gotcha Feminists!"

[LordFall]

Go to meet events to meet men that are more aligned with your goals like for me I really like business, crypto and philosophical meetups for more intellectual discussions as the average men just talk about culture and random nonsense in my books as an INTP.

Then you can also create your own communities and social circle over time and curate your own crowd. 

[Raze]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

And roughly 1 in 5 women are raped in their lifetime in the United States... which is 20%.

That’s been largely debunked

https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/