Is this the evolution of polyamory? Aubrey Marcus podcast)

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because their entire conversation was very conscious and honest. They consciously decided to go into this deep, complex love tricycle and work through all the challenges they knew it would involve. That is very different than just emotionally manipulating a girlfriend to have a threesome.

As someone that's rationalized away things I'm not okay with to stay in a relationship with someone in the past, their conversation doesn't convince me one bit.

And I could have waxed poetic about why I was staying with him.

Consider the mixture of grief and the denial that comes with the potential of needing to leave a relationship to stay aligned with yourself... in combination with being given a narrative that allows you to fully embrace that denial phase of grief.

That's how humans tend to operate.

I don't think Vylana would be choosing this if she had the opportunity to be in a fully monogamous relationship with Aubrey.

She just has to get used to going for WHAT she wants rather than WHO she wants.

[Lyubov]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

But he didn't do that. He told her first that we wants a triad, then they split up, then discussed it, she agreed and then he went on Tinder to create what they agreed to and he didn't just bang the new girl, he introduced her to his wife.

Doubt this will fly with mine 

[Lyubov]

5 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

"While it is not suited for a woman to" - why do you think so?

You put one man on an island with ten women, you got ten babies. You put one woman on an island with ten men you have one baby and a whole lot of chaos. 

Edited May 30 by Lyubov

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

As someone that's rationalized away things I'm not okay with to stay in a relationship with someone in the past, their conversation doesn't convince me one bit.

Like I said, maybe she is lying to herself, but I respect her enough not to automatically assume that.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because their entire conversation was very conscious and honest. They consciously decided to go into this deep, complex love tricycle and work through all the challenges they knew it would involve. That is very different than just emotionally manipulating a girlfriend to have a threesome.

Do you think the wife could possibly be brainwashing and gaslighting herself here, as evidenced by her perpetual need to 'work through accepting' the situation? Her initial reaction was negative to the situation.

I do acknowledge you prioritise her choice as being sovereign and willing.

Her need to 'work through' acceptance displays some friction and negativity. I've been in open relationships and they were effortless and in no way did I need to experience anything she has. This negativity she experiences continually is contradicting everything. It speaks to it being unconscious.

 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Do you think the wife could possibly be brainwashing and gaslighting herself here

Sure, that's a common thing women do when manipulated by men.

Quote

as evidenced by her perpetual need to 'work through accepting' the situation? Her initial reaction was negative to the situation.

Yeah, but sometimes a crisis turns into an opportunity.

Deep love works in unexpected ways.

I feel that their love is genuine and deep. Could it all be an illusion they are bullshitting themselves with? Yes. But I am not that cynical here.

Edited May 30 by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Like I said, maybe she is lying to herself, but I respect her enough not to automatically assume that.

And I relate to her enough to recognize her vulnerability.

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And I relate to her enough to recognize her vulnerability.

The vulenerability is what makes it a genuine opportunity for love.

The only question is whether they will be able to sustain it. That is the risk they are all taking together.

It's an experiment in conscious love. Will it work? Who knows? But I think it's cool they are trying something bold and broadcasting it to the world. That's not an easy thing to do.

Edited May 30 by Leo Gura

[BlessedLion]

Leo, I felt that way at first, it seemed conscious and mutual. 
 

Until Vylana spoke, then the darkness unveiled itself and it became radiantly clear that she is deluding herself to stay with Aubrey and that she definitely doesn’t want this. It also became clear that he is deluding himself and pushing God Realization insights to fulfill his agenda and desires. 
 

The worst part is that there is an authentic and natural part of her saying “I don’t like this, this is wrong” yet she has been bamboozled into thinking that is some lower animal form of her that she needs to transcend. 
 

If you listen to Aubrey’s language here it’s quite delusional and manipulative. And then he has this absolute creep as his gaslighting accomplice “speaking on” all his bullshit. 
 

The whole things is off, you can just feel it, as can 95% of people who watch that train wreck. 

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

she definitely doesn’t want this.

I didn't get that vibe at all.

Maybe you are just not understanding what they are trying to create.

What they are trying to create is possible to create. Whether they will succeed is another matter.

Edited May 30 by Leo Gura

[BlessedLion]

Sure. I could be wrong. 
 

This is just the vibe I pick up from the whole thing, seems like childish magical thinking from Aubrey and a lot of pain and trauma from Vylana. Then they shadow hugged this girl as seeing her as “pure”. 
 

Not to mention the copious amounts of drugs they are blasting themselves with. 
 

Good luck to them, hope whatever game they’re playing doesn’t end in any major pain or suicides. I’m definitely not holding my breath on this resulting in some major breakthrough or evolution in human relating. 

[Leo Gura]

Monogamy fails. Polyamory fails. Human love fails. Nothing new there.

Human love is full of illusion regardless of who you do it with. That's why I don't have a problem with this.

Edited May 30 by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I didn't get that vibe at all.

Maybe you are just not understanding what they are trying to create.

What they are trying to create is possible to create. Whether they will succeed is another matter.

It is possible. 

To my experience - you cannot have any jealousy or possessiveness in your character as a woman to have a relationship like that. And that is a rare quality in most people. There needs to be absolute transparency and clear rules and boundaries. From the man's perspective - its a lot - to be so attentive to 2 women's emotional needs. But it can work when the mans sexual needs are satisfied by the novelty and variety in his sex life, as he can be so gratified he has boundless love, care & energy to pass back to the women.

[aurum]

21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It's more about the way that Aubrey Marcus is going about rationalizing it that's muddying the waters that's the problem.

My concern is that Aubrey is underestimating the extent to which Vylana is bulldozing her own boundaries. I just don't see her realistically walking away from a situation like she's in, even if something was significantly off.

And to be fair to him, that does say something about how good a partner Aubrey is. 

The magical stories / rationalizations are really only problematic if they lead to excessive bulldozing. Otherwise I don't mind them.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

22 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

Leo, I felt that way at first, it seemed conscious and mutual. 
 

Until Vylana spoke, then the darkness unveiled itself and it became radiantly clear that she is deluding herself to stay with Aubrey and that she definitely doesn’t want this. It also became clear that he is deluding himself and pushing God Realization insights to fulfill his agenda and desires. 
 

The worst part is that there is an authentic and natural part of her saying “I don’t like this, this is wrong” yet she has been bamboozled into thinking that is some lower animal form of her that she needs to transcend. 
 

If you listen to Aubrey’s language here it’s quite delusional and manipulative. And then he has this absolute creep as his gaslighting accomplice “speaking on” all his bullshit. 
 

The whole things is off, you can just feel it, as can 95% of people who watch that train wreck. 

My opinion also.

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

its a lot - to be so attentive to 2 women's emotional needs.

Bin Laden had 5 wives.

Aubrey Marcus will follow the timeless wisdom of Bin Laden.

When times get tough, just ask: WWBLD?

What Would Bin Laden Do?

Answer: Impregnate a third wife. Allah willing.

Edited May 30 by Leo Gura

[BlessedLion]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Monogamy fails. Polyamory fails. Human love fails. Nothing new there.

Human love is full of illusion regardless of who you do it with. That's why I don't have a problem with this.

The sad truth is there doesn’t really seem to be a solid solution to the mess of human romance. Only a very select few find lasting love that doesn’t become drudgery, bitterness, constant work. 
 

I still don’t think it excuses delusional thinking and posing it as some spiritual sacrifice, like dude, just admit you want to sleep with 2 women it’s fine. 

[BlessedLion]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Bin Laden had 5 wives.

Aubrey Marcus will follow the timeless wisdom of Bin Laden.

When times get tough, just ask: WWBLD?

What Would Bin Laden Do?

Answer: Impregant a third wife. Allah willing.

Hahahah! 😂

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

like dude, just admit you want to sleep with 2 women it’s fine.

He did exactly that. But he wants more than just sex with them.

[Emerald]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The vulenerability is what makes it a genuine opportunity for love.

The only question is whether they will be able to sustain it. That is the risk they are all taking together.

It's an experiment in conscious love. Will it work? Who knows? But I think it's cool they are trying something bold and broadcasting it to the world. That's not an easy thing to do.

Aubrey certainly isn't opening himself up to the same level of vulnerability as Vylana in this. So, there's no mutuality to the vulnerability that's being explored.

It's just Aubrey getting what he wants... and Vylana continually challenging her boundaries and feeling vulnerable to keep the relationship going.

And women feel good in relationships where they feel safe, stable, and secure... not draining their energy and challenging themselves to sustain a vulnerable position that doesn't feel good to them.

Also, if a woman is putting in more work than the man to make a relationship work, it's just not going to work as it messes up the polarity. And the woman will drain herself to make the relationship work.

It either must be equal... or the man must be somewhat more invested in the woman than she is into him.  And that's what creates a stable foundation upon which to bear and raise children.

And all those boundaries she's transcending are her trying to quiet her boundaries, instincts, feelings, and intuitions... because she is operating off a framework that sees these things as a barrier to a higher conscious love.

But I do think it gives her a great opportunity to learn self-love the hard way and to integrate her inner bitch... which is a difficult lesson all women must learn.

It's in these moments where we can learn to choose to show ourselves love and loyalty over trying to maintain a relationship that doesn't feel good to us.

It's very common that someone can rationalize to themselves why they should continuously throw themselves under the bus and sacrifice their boundaries for a relationship.

And for women especially, it is an absolute must to love yourself more than you're attached to your relationship... or you'll end up in a situation like this.

And this is a very difficult lesson to learn for MOST women because attachments run deep and grief is difficult to face with. So, women frequently have an issue with going into denial to preserve a relationship.

But for women, it's especially impotent to protect our energy and hold our boundaries where vulnerability exists... and to only allow those close who will not drain our energy.

And if you lack proper boundaries as a woman, everyone will try to vampiricy drain you of energy and exhaust you.

Gotta be willing to be a mean queen sometimes if you want to be treated with the love and respect you're entitled to.