Let's Play A Game. Share Your Deepest Awakenings

[ExploringReality]

This is not for theory. Not for debate. Not for proving please honor that

This thread is a space for raw, direct and unfiltered mystical experiences you had, to share the moments when the veil tore, when reality flipped inside out, when you knew something deeper than knowing. I invite you to stand in your truth here no matter how insane, paradoxical, blissful, terrifying, or ineffable it felt. Whether it came through meditation, psychedelics, death, breathwork, trauma, or pure grace. If it happened to you, it matters, I'm serious.

Rules of the Game:

Don’t analyze or argue with others. No gaslighting or questioning if it was real. Share only from your own direct experience.

Go as deep as you want.

If you're reading, read with reverence like you’re being handed someone’s soul directly. You can post multiple awakenings, phases, layers and however your journey unfolded.

Why this thread?

Because I believe we need a space where mystics, truth-seekers, and explorers of consciousness can reveal what they've gone through without being invalidated and I'm sure there are some here.

I’ll go first. I’ll be sharing some of my own psychedelic breakthroughs, consciousness flips, ego-deaths, and revelations that restructured the very core of what I thought I was.

My very first experience and exposure to psilocybin mushrooms, came after I discovered Terence McKenna and Alan Watts. I would listen to them every night and every day after school that my mind was already fascinated and driven towards having a psychedelic experience for the purpose of understanding reality, shifting my state of consciousness and realizing things which my mind couldn't in the moment. I was surprised as to discover that one friend of mine had about a gram of stem and caps that he had stored for 2 months and he decided to give them to me for five bucks, I immediately said yes knowing how much of a hassle it is to score these bad boys. I ate them in a moment of silence in front of him and we waited for 20 minutes. Nothing happens, I kept scanning the room in my field of perception to notice any subtle changes but got nothing. I told him that it probably didn't work and he told me sorry and said if there's anything that he could do for me that he was there to make me feel like I wasn't scammed, but I told him no it's okay thank you for checking on me but I think I'm going to go home now. I went home sat on the couch and the TV was on becausey brother was playing a video game called skate. Something started to happen that never happened before, reality was starting to change. I looked at the TV and noticed the dimensionality and the reality of the characters in the game, in which in a snap of a finger my consciousness went inside the game, the 3D world of the video game. I was the character my brother was playing standing around and fucking amazed as to awaken within a video game and to realize that Consciousness has shifted from one form to another. In that moment of clarity I realized that Consciousness is not bound by the body and the Brain. I then, in what seemed to be an instant, I  teleported back to my body on the couch, stunned and looked to my brother and he looked at me, in slow motion he asked me, "you took them didn't you"? To which I replied yes in slow motion. My head turned facing forward, closed my eyes, and I see the structure of existence.  Consciousness does not need the eyes to see, but sees through them. I see these blue rings that were floating, moving and rotating in a stroboscopic effect, each ring representing one parallel reality in existence and there was an infinite number of these. My focus shifted deeper inward and I became aware of the simultaneity of existence, I was standing at a crossroads or an intersection and each direction was infinite possibilities all bring played. Every experience from the beginning to the end were being played out in an instant, I seen all of time in a moment. I see people living their lives, choices they make, opportunities they've capitalized on, regrets that anyone has ever had. Every experience a human being ever had and will have was happening at that cross section. And it hit me that reality is infinite possibilities but people pick one course of action in life and and can remain stuck in a cycle because they do not see that in every moment is presented an infinite number of possibilities. This really freed my mind and showed me that anything is possible and that reality isn't determined or predestined and that you do not need to feel like a victim but that you can make things happen and move in the direction that you prefer no matter how difficult. This gave me courage, hope, confidence and excitement. This was my first ever psychedelic experience. The second experience I had on mushrooms was half an eighth, in which within the 40-minute spam of it coming on in my mind's eye an image of my dad who was still alive at the time formed and looked at me with powerful eyes and I started to break down and cry while I was outside and people are walking by. Within that short span of seeing my father in my mind, it was transmitted to me that he loves me to death and that I never truly looked at my dad and loved him for who he is without always asking him for something. I learned a great lesson to love my dad more and to be more graceful and grateful for him being in my life. I can simply describe it as loving my father as though he is in a coffin dead but I was able to experience the love I have for him then in that moment before he died while he's still alive. After several experience with mushrooms at higher doses, the very last one I had was when I was 22. In which I predicted his death to his face, I broke down crying because I was absolutely certain that he was going to die and that I need to face it. During the rest of the trip I calmed down and sat next to him in the room giving him hugs and kisses and telling him how beautiful he is telling him how much I love him, the next 3 days he passed away. 

And finally one of my major psychedelic breakthroughs was on LSD, I don't know how much but it was very powerful because it lasted for 14 hours my entire reality broke down, the field of perception turned into a grid, and I experienced infinite love on 4th of July while the fireworks are going off at its Peak. I was losing my sense of reality so much that I had to tell my brother I was tripping, and I told him that I am going so deep that I'm losing my sense of self and sanity. During that intense moment there was no time everything collapsed into this moment, 5 years felt like 5 seconds 2 minutes felt like eternity. I grabbed his arm and I sank into mind as though someone taking their last breath before drowning in an ocean, as soon as I went in I lost all sense of bodily sensations but I was so awake and aware I couldn't explain it. I seen the structure of reality even more, I see non-dualities and shifting geometric surreal patterns and forms, I seen birds colored black and white all crowded together and taking off forming a sink in the air of the non-duality sign and in that moment of seeing that I knew exactly what non-duality means. The play of the absolute, the dance of formless form. I became every single living organism I became every planet I was exploding stars supernovas and black holes I was the cosmic events in interstellar space, I was the Big bang I am the Big bang, and after many more explosions of Consciousness I became aware of what I am at the center of it all. I was looking and looking trying to see what the fuck that is, and I realized I was looking at myself sitting there dreaming and imagining all of reality. It was like a Deadman waking up in a coffin after a thousand years and realizing that I'm still alive and just trying to pretend that I'm not there. I realize that powerful symbol in Zen called Enzo, that incomplete circle. That I am perfect, mind, formless and ever changing. That's mines.

What’s the deepest awakening you’ve had?

Edited Saturday at 01:34 AM by ExploringReality

[Hojo]

I eat mushroom I sit there.

I see that I do not exist outside my skull and its void of all emotion logic and intelligence.

I then see that I am making myself up and if I am making myself that means that I can't die.

A voice in my head says if you cant die what are you?

As an athiest the only thing I could logically  think of is that I must be God.

I blink and see the universe behind my eyes.

Then I feel energy coming from the soles of my feet, it goes up and it reaches my head and my brain exploded into a million fireworks.

I tore off the screen of reality it felt like pulling hairs out but in a good way.

Then I shot off the screen of reality and went into the space behind my head and there was a million voices saying I love you you are beautiful you are perfect and I got filled with love and shot back onto the screen in like 5 seconds.

Then I cry for 6 hours and grieve for 3 months that I was no longer alive.

[Thought Art]

Hmm, infinity and perfection for ever 

[Oppositionless]

This was my dmt trip, but the real awakening occured the next day 

I smoked a dmt vape pen until I forgot that I'd done it. Visuals wise there appear to be some snake pipes (green anacondas that are also pipes ) in the walls , I can see them through the wall. A lot of loud sounds, my brain is zapped by electricity, it's like my brain is an old analog tv with no signal . I have no idea who or what I am. I can hear my parents and my dog upstairs but I have no idea who they are, I feel totally alone in a ocean of awareness but not as a person, no memories . 
 

The next day I am utterly convinced of solipsism. I feel deeply that the entire world is my creation. I can feel the energy of my being radiating out through my skin and my eyes to construct the world. The level of fear is like nothing I've experienced. Not that it's the worst fear I've experienced, I just mean it is a categorically different kind of fear . It feels like the very mechanism by which "Maya", the illusion of non-solipsism,  is imagined. 
 

 

Edited Saturday at 01:41 AM by Oppositionless

[ExploringReality]

@Oppositionless

That's a powerful experience, please honor that. You are courageous for stepping into that experience.

[Oppositionless]

@ExploringReality thank you I basically swore off dmt until I felt I could handle that level of consciousness again and haven't touched it since

[ExploringReality]

@Oppositionless

There are bold psychedelic explorers and there are old psychedelic explorers, but there are no old, bold psychedelic explorers 😄

 

[Breakingthewall]

I did 5 meo DMT, and reality is absolute emptiness. There's nothing, just infinite emptiness, absolutely dead. I see how colors and shapes overlap like a dead, lifeless hologram. I hear a cosmic gong. I'm seeing the deepest ultimately reality, and it's death. I get up and try to vomit. I feel horrified. It's so horrible that even if I were dying, I couldn't escape. I go to a bar and drink beer after beer to forget it.

Afterward, I spent about eight months thinking I should go back there, but I didn't dare. I went on low-dose trips where emptiness lurked, but I didn't dare. One day I decide to vape 20 mg. I'm going to do it, and I think, this isn't the right time. I don't feel at peace, pure. Then I think, I've never felt like this. I pick up the pipe and vape. The emptiness again, absolutely horrible, dead. I sit and think, well, it seems this is what I was supposed to see today. You have to accept things. Then I think: no, that's not my way or acting. I take a big  amount of 5 meo without weight it, something like double of a strong dose, and think, show me the truth or kill me. I vape it and it hits me with enormous force. The void again, it expands infinitely, it opens. It's me, I open myself, it's everything, it's total, it's life, there are no limits, it's what it always was, fullness is absolute, I was absent and I've returned. It's obvious, it's what I am.

Edited Saturday at 06:28 AM by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

24 minutes ago, cuteguy said:

This is what scared you. It's inescapable. It's empty of YOU. Hence the fear, and now the denial.

You didn't understand . After that I did 5 meo more or less 150 times, mushrooms, lsd, DMT, until I managed to open it with some weed, and then sober. 

Edited Saturday at 06:57 AM by Breakingthewall

[Adilbek]

8 hours ago, Hojo said:

I eat mushroom I sit there.

I see that I do not exist outside my skull and its void of all emotion logic and intelligence.

I then see that I am making myself up and if I am making myself that means that I can't die.

A voice in my head says if you cant die what are you?

As an athiest the only thing I could logically  think of is that I must be God.

I blink and see the universe behind my eyes.

Then I feel energy coming from the soles of my feet, it goes up and it reaches my head and my brain exploded into a million fireworks.

I tore off the screen of reality it felt like pulling hairs out but in a good way.

Then I shot off the screen of reality and went into the space behind my head and there was a million voices saying I love you you are beautiful you are perfect and I got filled with love and shot back onto the screen in like 5 seconds.

Then I cry for 6 hours and grieve for 3 months that I was no longer alive.

This is so beautiful and sad, I relate to crying and grieving

[Adilbek]

@Oppositionless yessss

[Adilbek]

@Breakingthewall extremely brave, I can't even fathom. Hats off, Your Majesty 

[theleelajoker]

On LSD, I saw that the world is simply a collection of colourful geometric shapes.

On mushrooms, I realized I am just a character playing to be human.

After a deep Vipassana meditation, I got the idea that everything is just a story.

During deep Vipassana meditation, I saw how everything in "my" life is 100% "my" doing, every interaction happening exactly as it should, simply outer appearances reflecting my inner world. (Incredible transformative but not easy to integrate 😂)

In everyday life, I could experience the connections of all things, how information travels from one person to another without these people ever talking to each other. 

And probably the deepest awakening experiences came during seemingly mundane interactions with "other" humans. A deep intuitive awareness that I talk to this man/woman in this very moment but that I also communicate with sth/sme else. Sometimes I have this even with animals but it's much more subtle. And crazy synchronicities in every day mundane life that clearly are a signal from something beyond this world (even if I don't know what the meaning of the signal is).

This feelings of surprise and sense of humor when a particular situation happens and I am like..."Really? That's how you play it? Ok you're a funny one😅"

Edited Saturday at 08:17 AM by theleelajoker

[theleelajoker]

2 hours ago, ExploringReality said:

@Oppositionless

There are bold psychedelic explorers and there are old psychedelic explorers, but there are no old, bold psychedelic explorers 😄

 

😁 😁 😁 😁 nice one 

[blackchair]

I was completely connected with God, and I was walking slowly over small pebbles and praying, I could feel every little small  pebble (and there were millions of them) were perfectly aligned with my foot/sneakers to support me at just perfect angle so I could walk, words can't describe the feeling, later I sat down and bow down to bura (Croatian strong wind) and wind carried smell of salt from water (I live in coastal town) from 1km apart to me......it was beyond words....no drugs here....(yet)

[LambdaDelta]

Here's several major ones in chronological order that I posted here, there's more that's scattered somewhere in AI chats and post history, can't cover it all. Neither is the deepest because every time a new one reveals ever more, built up on all the priors and provisional knowledge hitherto acquired. Consciousness is bottomless, so it follows that no awakening can encompass all of it. But you can stack sub-infinities.

 

Also 2 days ago I posted what's essentially my current compendium of understanding all of reality, which it appears nobody has read. Whether that's due to the sheer length, an unassuming title, a relatively weak opener, or any number of potential reasons, I don't know. It might sound presumptuous, but if you read it thoughtfully, great value could be gained. It's not any particular awakening, rather an immense amount of notes stringed together in a (mostly) structured manner, a result of 40 days of intense contemplation since my last awakening. Some things can only be grasped in that way, psychedelics or a meditation retreat couldn't synthesize like that. Its purpose is already complete, but I'd be glad if anyone decides to check it out and give me their thoughts regardless.

 

[LambdaDelta]

@ExploringReality your experiences are lovely. Can corroborate in large part, not as though you need that though. The first awakening always has a special place in the heart. Not the first time I'm seeing people report getting to the 'Nexus of Possibility' there, a curious pattern.

[ExploringReality]

@LambdaDelta

My man!!! I'm going to read your trip reports tonight. Your always killing it out here, I love reading what you post especially your thread of peaeking into absolute I am. See you behind your eyelids brother.

Edited yesterday at 04:27 AM by ExploringReality