Should I join the military?

[Jannes]

Maybe reality is harder then it seems because you havent exposed yourself to it enough.

When I had my first job earning a bit of money on the side I felt pretty euphoric "I can do this, I can take care of myself on my own!"

[meta_male]

@Someone here From what you write it doesn't sound like the army is suited for you long term. Depends on where you're from, maybe you could do basic training to get that feeling of having to man up out the system and then do your own thing after.

Also, to get more clarity around where you should be headed you could rent a van for a month, take your camping gear, tools and food with you and see what it takes to survive living in a remote area and then decide if you wanna invest more into this lifestyle.

[integral]

@Someone here you’re gonna be put into a position where you surrounding yourself with low consciousness people who are in charge of low consciousness people.

The only thing you’re gonna get out of that is a warping of your view on life.

I recommend joining a sports team. Maybe play football. Or you should learn social skills by going to places that make you feel uncomfortable and forcing yourself to socialize with strangers.

Why do you feel like you’re not facing life head on?

Edited May 16 by integral

[Basman]

In Scandinavia we have something called "first time service" (førstegangstjeneste) which is a limited contract of about a year. Basic training + a couple of months of duty. It's a good way to get some experience.

I think an equivalent of that sounds like it would suit your situation more as you don't sound like you are specifically interested in a military career long-term. Once the year is over you could apply for a career in the military or move on.

[Someone here]

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

Edited Friday at 03:43 PM by Someone here

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

Women also always have worked.

I'm going to spoil my next topic for you, eheh:

Men aren't stoic and masculine in general (naturally, not in a way that's ape-like) because they inhibit their emotions, but rather because they are so accepted that there's identification.
Since the emotional vibe, soft, rounded, romantic, contemplative, which is actually the "self," is already fully accepted, is already "here," you will automatically express yourself in a more "neutral" and masculine way, less emotional, because you no longer have the unconscious pressure to seek yourself outwardly.
The other is nothing more than something that eventually (a woman) wants to sink in and let itself be carried by our "self."

If you think you should refuse to be emotional, it's actually obsessional neurosis and is tacitly based on social failure; a belief generally distilled from the Oedipus complex. Besides, I've already said it, but these types of men are actually more fragile than average and have masochistic fantasies.
My psychoanalysis instructor explained this in a video, and I came to the same conclusion when analyzing my own fantasies. Even though I've always been pretty vanilla, I see differences depending on how my psyche works.

I'm so full of emotions, so full of myself, that I can't be anything other than dominant (in this case sexually, but in life in general) because being dominated would eliminate possibilities; it's like reducing myself to the other, to their "phallus," as Lacan would say, would diminish my emotional possibilities.  I want to expand and expand, to share, and that translates into "domination."

It's only when you're empty, when the self is denied, that it becomes interesting, I suppose.

I'm okay with being an entrepreneur, playing team sports, going out with girls, etc.; not because I'm not afraid, but because I accept, even enjoy, fear and stress.

 

 

Most guys on the internet who talk about being "tough" and stuff like that are probably actually cowards, I've looked at it but I don't see how an androgenous man would end up on YouTube saying stuff like that lol, it seems impossible to me.

 

People think it's hard to be a man, but they say it because they're not in a masculine, masculinizing vibe; they're in an "estrogenic" vibe (aggressive, manic, competitive, tough, but actually a coward...).
It's like putting gasoline in a diesel car.

Edited Friday at 08:40 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Btw, men are less accepting of anger, and that's why it's expressed physically.
We get angry, we fight, in a "masochistic" desire to internalize it, to seek peace from the outside.

Women are the ones who really enjoy experiencing anger, hence the apparent lack of anger in women.
Women's TV shows only try to generate anger, through stories of injustice, sexual relationships that shouldn't happen, and that sort of thing.

If you have sisters or a mother, you know what I'm talking about; this kind of show is unwatchable for men because it's just too perverted, it generates too much anger.

[MutedMiles]

On 6/6/2025 at 7:43 PM, Someone here said:

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

How about looking at your background, the socio-cultural background and content which is creating these kinds of thoughts in you? Who needs to be at peace in you with being a man? And what is the context in which this individual came into being.

Personally these questions don't elicit any kind of response in me, they simply don't matter to me. I would recommend following two practical things for you:

1. Don't focus on abstract issues or questions, Actual issues (if any) are always specific. When we deal with those specific issues, these abstract questions and issues loose meaning and importance by themselves.
2. Go easy on yourself, give yourself as much (or at-least) love and care as you will give to any decent human being, we all deserve that much care at-least. If there are 100 specific issues, go at it one by one the same way you'll advise your friend to whom you care about.

Edited 12 hours ago by MutedMiles

[Someone here]

@MutedMiles hi there.  You quoted me in two topics in a short time. Do my post interest you ? If so i am glad . And thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

what you said here is not totally false . What i mean by accepting being a man is more obvious than obvious.  Do you want me to break it down to you ? Girls live in their homes playing with their hair and experimenting with makeup and watching romance movies .then they get married and their lives is solved for good .the husband works and pays the bills and they just chill at home and raise the kids . Pretty comfy huh ? Whereas a man literally is under physical and mental stress virtually every day. Work and taking care of his family as he is the provider. Even if he is not married he is supposed to feed himself once he is 18+ . My question is simply are you happy with this role ?

[Sincerity]

24 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Girls live in their homes playing with their hair and experimenting with makeup and watching romance movies .then they get married and their lives is solved for good .the husband works and pays the bills and they just chill at home and raise the kids . Pretty comfy huh ?

Do you seriously perceive women this way or are you joking?

[Someone here]

@Sincerity I don't believe there is any respectful or fruitful conversation that can happen ever again between us .so I would just refrain.