Should I join the military?

[Jannes]

Maybe reality is harder then it seems because you havent exposed yourself to it enough.

When I had my first job earning a bit of money on the side I felt pretty euphoric "I can do this, I can take care of myself on my own!"

[meta_male]

@Someone here From what you write it doesn't sound like the army is suited for you long term. Depends on where you're from, maybe you could do basic training to get that feeling of having to man up out the system and then do your own thing after.

Also, to get more clarity around where you should be headed you could rent a van for a month, take your camping gear, tools and food with you and see what it takes to survive living in a remote area and then decide if you wanna invest more into this lifestyle.

[integral]

@Someone here you’re gonna be put into a position where you surrounding yourself with low consciousness people who are in charge of low consciousness people.

The only thing you’re gonna get out of that is a warping of your view on life.

I recommend joining a sports team. Maybe play football. Or you should learn social skills by going to places that make you feel uncomfortable and forcing yourself to socialize with strangers.

Why do you feel like you’re not facing life head on?

Edited May 16 by integral

[Basman]

In Scandinavia we have something called "first time service" (førstegangstjeneste) which is a limited contract of about a year. Basic training + a couple of months of duty. It's a good way to get some experience.

I think an equivalent of that sounds like it would suit your situation more as you don't sound like you are specifically interested in a military career long-term. Once the year is over you could apply for a career in the military or move on.

[Someone here]

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

Edited June 6 by Someone here

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

Women also always have worked.

I'm going to spoil my next topic for you, eheh:

Men aren't stoic and masculine in general (naturally, not in a way that's ape-like) because they inhibit their emotions, but rather because they are so accepted that there's identification.
Since the emotional vibe, soft, rounded, romantic, contemplative, which is actually the "self," is already fully accepted, is already "here," you will automatically express yourself in a more "neutral" and masculine way, less emotional, because you no longer have the unconscious pressure to seek yourself outwardly.
The other is nothing more than something that eventually (a woman) wants to sink in and let itself be carried by our "self."

If you think you should refuse to be emotional, it's actually obsessional neurosis and is tacitly based on social failure; a belief generally distilled from the Oedipus complex. Besides, I've already said it, but these types of men are actually more fragile than average and have masochistic fantasies.
My psychoanalysis instructor explained this in a video, and I came to the same conclusion when analyzing my own fantasies. Even though I've always been pretty vanilla, I see differences depending on how my psyche works.

I'm so full of emotions, so full of myself, that I can't be anything other than dominant (in this case sexually, but in life in general) because being dominated would eliminate possibilities; it's like reducing myself to the other, to their "phallus," as Lacan would say, would diminish my emotional possibilities.  I want to expand and expand, to share, and that translates into "domination."

It's only when you're empty, when the self is denied, that it becomes interesting, I suppose.

I'm okay with being an entrepreneur, playing team sports, going out with girls, etc.; not because I'm not afraid, but because I accept, even enjoy, fear and stress.

 

 

Most guys on the internet who talk about being "tough" and stuff like that are probably actually cowards, I've looked at it but I don't see how an androgenous man would end up on YouTube saying stuff like that lol, it seems impossible to me.

 

People think it's hard to be a man, but they say it because they're not in a masculine, masculinizing vibe; they're in an "estrogenic" vibe (aggressive, manic, competitive, tough, but actually a coward...).
It's like putting gasoline in a diesel car.

Edited June 6 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Btw, men are less accepting of anger, and that's why it's expressed physically.
We get angry, we fight, in a "masochistic" desire to internalize it, to seek peace from the outside.

Women are the ones who really enjoy experiencing anger, hence the apparent lack of anger in women.
Women's TV shows only try to generate anger, through stories of injustice, sexual relationships that shouldn't happen, and that sort of thing.

If you have sisters or a mother, you know what I'm talking about; this kind of show is unwatchable for men because it's just too perverted, it generates too much anger.

[MutedMiles]

On 6/6/2025 at 7:43 PM, Someone here said:

Thank yall. 

A question here if anyone is interested...are you all at peace with being men? Do you like being a man ? Are you in good touch with your masculinity?  I'm not talking about gender polarity or having a penis instead of a vagina here ..but just being a man in the sense that you are supposed to take responsibility for your life..and you are supposed to suffer your way through life and repress your childish feminine emotions and you have to work and experience the full brutality of life etc

How about looking at your background, the socio-cultural background and content which is creating these kinds of thoughts in you? Who needs to be at peace in you with being a man? And what is the context in which this individual came into being.

Personally these questions don't elicit any kind of response in me, they simply don't matter to me. I would recommend following two practical things for you:

1. Don't focus on abstract issues or questions, Actual issues (if any) are always specific. When we deal with those specific issues, these abstract questions and issues loose meaning and importance by themselves.
2. Go easy on yourself, give yourself as much (or at-least) love and care as you will give to any decent human being, we all deserve that much care at-least. If there are 100 specific issues, go at it one by one the same way you'll advise your friend to whom you care about.

Edited June 7 by MutedMiles

[Someone here]

@MutedMiles hi there.  You quoted me in two topics in a short time. Do my post interest you ? If so i am glad . And thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

what you said here is not totally false . What i mean by accepting being a man is more obvious than obvious.  Do you want me to break it down to you ? Girls live in their homes playing with their hair and experimenting with makeup and watching romance movies .then they get married and their lives is solved for good .the husband works and pays the bills and they just chill at home and raise the kids . Pretty comfy huh ? Whereas a man literally is under physical and mental stress virtually every day. Work and taking care of his family as he is the provider. Even if he is not married he is supposed to feed himself once he is 18+ . My question is simply are you happy with this role ?

[Sincerity]

24 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Girls live in their homes playing with their hair and experimenting with makeup and watching romance movies .then they get married and their lives is solved for good .the husband works and pays the bills and they just chill at home and raise the kids . Pretty comfy huh ?

Do you seriously perceive women this way or are you joking?

[Someone here]

@Sincerity I don't believe there is any respectful or fruitful conversation that can happen ever again between us .so I would just refrain. 

[ryoko]

@Someone here

Nothing justifies you being part of something which is fundamentally built to promote this weird concept called Nation.  

Join it if you want. Don't come asking such foolish questions in this forum. 

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, ryoko said:

@Someone here

Nothing justifies you being part of something which is fundamentally built to promote this weird concept called Nation.  

Join it if you want. Don't come asking such foolish questions in this forum. 

Thank you for the insult .tells much about you as a person and your morals .do you realize that you are 10000x more foolish than me by literally extracting some precious time from your life to insult someone you don't know and you will never get to know in your life ?

Joining the military is going to" cook my body to make a fucking man out of me". Idc how silly this may sound but change my mind if ya dare . Because I slack off and procrastinate and mentally masturbate and smoke and fap and skip college classes and I'm such a mess . So it is worth considering. 

[Schizophonia]

32 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Thank you for the insult .tells much about you as a person and your morals .do you realize that you are 10000x more foolish than me by literally extracting some precious time from your life to insult someone you don't know and you will never get to know in your life ?

He thinks that nation is a foreign concept because it's a spiritual infant disconnected from power relations.

Chad Marxist not only isn't anti-army but even though he's an internationalist, he understands the tangibility of a nation as a structure ultimately necessary for the interests of certain classes; possibly more pragmatic interests such as the management of populations with different values, levels of consciousness, and races.

straightens his glasses

Quote

Joining the military is going to" cook my body to make a fucking man out of me". Idc how silly this may sound but change my mind if ya dare . Because I slack off and procrastinate and mentally masturbate and smoke and fap and skip college classes and I'm such a mess . So it is worth considering. 

If you want to flee your country lol the Foreign Legion is one of the most demanding military sections in the world.

Edited July 19 by Schizophonia

[Basman]

@Someone here

The military will add a lot of structure to your life and push you to be more resilient.

[chess_king]

4 hours ago, Basman said:

@Someone here

The military will add a lot of structure to your life and push you to be more resilient.

It's for people who don't want to confront life and prefer to be told what to do. It offers comfort because you don't have to take risks or think for yourself; you simply follow orders. It caters to those who lack free will.

[Basman]

9 hours ago, chess_king said:

It's for people who don't want to confront life and prefer to be told what to do. It offers comfort because you don't have to take risks or think for yourself; you simply follow orders. It caters to those who lack free will.

The military is a very important job and responsibility. You can't have society without soldiers. And being a soldier isn't exactly known for being comfortable or easy.

Its not a failure of character to desire the structure something like the military provides. It is a bit like volunteering for the fire brigade or choosing to become a cop. It takes a special kind of person to be highly entrepreneurial and driven which most people aren't. Don't treat it like it is a given because it is not.

[Nemra]

59 minutes ago, Basman said:

And being a soldier isn't exactly known for being comfortable or easy.

That's why no one should casually join it unless it is involuntary.

Joining the military should be first and foremost treated as a need and not as a way to grow up as a person unless you love the military lifestyle. Training to survive in harsh or war-like conditions wouldn't necessarily make you mature, although it can sober you up, but that's it.

Life is already full of responsibilities, which may be necessary or unnecessary, and you can make yourself more responsible if you think you lack responsibility.

Actually, by joining the military, you are giving away your responsibility to consciously make yourself more responsible if you feel you can't do it yourself.

In this case, the intention mentioned is not a good enough reason to join the military.

Edited July 20 by Nemra

[Basman]

3 hours ago, Nemra said:

Actually, by joining the military, you are giving away your responsibility to consciously make yourself more responsible if you feel you can't do it yourself.

Who said you can only do one? Plenty of ex-military who lead great lives post service. And in my experience they are very active and disciplined.

It's about prospects and gaining experience. The military is a viable option if you are in a rut and not academically inclined as a young person. 

Being completely self-responsible is an incredibly big ask. If it was so simple then we wouldn't need public education for instance. People would just teach themselves. But that is a goofy libertarian kind of thinking. People crave and benefit from structure.

If you can run your own show, go for it. But don't be so arrogant as to think it is the only option.

[Nemra]

@Basman, this is not the same thing as education.

The OP has many problems and responsibilities, and he finds it hard to commit to them.

Learning responsibility should have been before joining the military. The military is about learning how to survive in war-like situations.

If you do that only to learn to be responsible, then you already failed.

The OP's intention is not good enough to join the military. He either has to go to therapy or contemplate his issues and work on himself.

Of course, if you aren't working on yourself, then automatically the military might help you. But if you have a brain, then it is unnecessary in this case.

Joining the military has to be more than wanting to have structure. You have to love the military lifestyle, or there is a genuine need for defending, so you train for that.

Also, you have to factor in that he does not live in a Scandinavian country. He lives in India.

Edited July 20 by Nemra