Men, why get married?

[stellataye77]

Hi,

I’m wondering about the perspective of marriage to a woman/man from a man’s point of view. Give me some reasons why you are married/ why you aren’t married, or if you’ve decided you will or won’t be married in the future. 

[LordFall]

I don't like the implications of marriage legally but I feel like for a lot of women the ceremony would mean a lot so I wouldn't mind funding a private marriage when I get there. 

[Hojo]

I have never met a woman cool enough to marry or cool enough to be interested in. In order for me to want to marry someone they have to trick me into thinking they are cooler than me.

Edited Saturday at 08:56 PM by Hojo

[stellataye77]

@Hojo can you go into further depth as to what kind of woman you envision to have a marriage with 

[Hojo]

@stellataye77 Pretty much a man in a hot woman's body. I am attracted to men metaphysically and women physically. I like woman things but 90 percent of the woman I meet seem to be the same person. They don't skirt edges of insanity like men do and thats where I hang out. Generally it seems like they are hard brain washed way more then men.

 

Edited Saturday at 09:00 PM by Hojo

[stellataye77]

@LordFall interesting! So you’re open minded but are not interested in the idea of the legal bind. What is the legal part that you aren’t sure about personally? 

[stellataye77]

@Hojo fair enough. Have you considered alternative rock band girls? 

[Hojo]

@stellataye77 yes I like them but they are rare to find a genuine one. If it was a hot rock girl that wasnt into rock because they are angry  I would like them. But most women who are metal heads are deeply angry and hate everything.  Plus I'm getting older and alot have kids not something I am not interested in.

Edited Saturday at 09:04 PM by Hojo

[stellataye77]

@Hojo that’s true, when you find a genuine one it is rare. Hopefully you will come across a both hot and intellectually interesting specimen of a woman. If you found that person, would you marry them then? 

[Hojo]

@stellataye77 I did meet someone like that in the past and i didn't want to marry them. We were together for 8 years and whenever I had the thought I would not want to do it. It could be trauma but now I feel if I did meet someone like that I also would not want to marry them. My partner is God. The metaphysical implications of marriage are huge! I feel immense pressure whenever I think about it like I shouldn't do it and I don't know why. They were perfect for me and I fked it up but now I see God and realize I don't need someone I was looking for God.

Like having a child i never want one the metaphysical implications and karma are huge! If I met the perfect woman I still wouldn't want the child or the marriage. But this leaves the woman feeling vulnerable like I could leave in an instant.

Id sign a promisary note to never leave them beyond serious discussion but not marry legally.

Marriage and kids are probably the 2 only things I am scared of. Its like a ball and chain around your neck for the rest of your life unless you are heartless. I am not that stupid or very stupid depending on how you look at it.

Edited Saturday at 09:41 PM by Hojo

[Someone here]

Two reasons :

1-sex and intimacy are an essential need like food and water .

2-to reproduce and have kids. 

These are literally all there is to life in the biological level: to survive and reproduce. 

If you think there is other reasons to be alive let me know please .

[Hojo]

@Someone here Its a simulation explore it. The purpose isnt to have kids its to explore and help and have fun. Kids are a trap. Its too hard not to fuck the kid up. You have a kid you are literally doing black magic. You bring that thing into existence if its stuck thats you bro.

Edited Sunday at 04:47 AM by Hojo

[Someone here]

@Hojo two questions:

1-are you antinatalist? You think it's unethical to bring a human being to this cruel world without their permission? 

2-are you familiar with Maslow's heriarchy of needs? 

[Hojo]

@Someone here No I think people can do what they want I just dont think they take it as seriously as they should and are fucking themselves and their kids up. I think its good to bring people into the world but alot of the time they are doing it out of fear or selfish reasons or randomly getting pregnant. Having a kid is like cloning yourself metaphysically to a robot. Like the only reason you think you exist is cause someone kept pointing at the space you exist in and doing black magic to it(language). The human works in a specific way and you cant know you are traumatizing them. The traits you give them are your traits if they fuck up you have to experience that cause its you in them in a sense you made them fuck up. The parent will see the acts in the child and self reflect annoyance on what the child is doing and blame them. I see this happening like 90 percent of people. Its like people just give their child their traumatic baggage and then say its their fault.

We see our reflection in other people ie the things that others do that annoy you are things you do that you dont like. So the parent creates an eternal clone then traumatizes it with its unconcious baggage give it to them and then gets mad at that trauma and makes it worse.

2- I just briefly read it and it seems good. If you see God you will start to get all of these without needed another person.

On further contemplation I have decided its toxic. Men dont need this, men need God, God give men this, and then men give it to the world.

Edited Sunday at 05:40 AM by Hojo

[Salvijus]

Joy multiplies when you have someone to share it with. Marriege with the right person could be a blessing. And if you want kids, then marriage gives stability. Stability is good, if you want family. 

Edited Sunday at 07:02 AM by Salvijus

[Someone here]

@Hojo what's better for a man to get ..God or a pussy?

"In one word " 😂 

[shree]

3 minutes ago, Someone here said:

what's better for a man to get ..God or a pussy?

Why not both?

 

@Hojo

Bringing a child to this world is not cloning yourself. 

-You teach him to love himself and let him develop into anything he is about to become, as a result of unconditional love.

It's wrong to think a child is an extension of yourself.

 

-Raising a child can be an extraordinary powerful shadow work if you are aware enough to see it, not react on it but mindlesly , but to integrate all the aspects of yourself that you repressed during your own upbringing.

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

 If you see God you will start to get all of these without needed another person.

"Seeing" God will NOT magically fix anything in your life.

If anything, it will make the life you created before it more dysfunctional.

 

-Having another person in your life is an expression of God, just as having kids, just as being alone.

 

[Sincerity]

It's a beautiful commitment, made out of love. When you meet the true love of your life, I think it's only natural to propose to her. The choice has to be conscious of course. If it is, I think making that choice is a sign of a mature and serious man.

From an energetic standpoint, I think deciding to become married is quite a serious energetic shift in your psyche. Think about it: what energy in you is needed for you to get all the way to the day of marriage and beyond? It's quite a test of character. Many propose to a woman and then the relationship breaks up.

It's a matter of what you want in life. For example, I really care about 1) the development of my character and 2) expression of love. My relationship with my partner is a truly amazing space for this growth. So I wanna get married, because this choice and the further journey will develop me greatly. I want the hardship of kids, the arguments, the compromises, the sex, the changes, and possibly the greatest loss of my life in the future. All that is certified growth babyyyyy, and I'm all for it. All planned out. 

Edited Sunday at 09:31 AM by Sincerity

[gettoefl]

Marriage is good for both as you know what tomorrow looks like. Should have two conditions: Wait 5 years. Renew vows every 5 years with annul clause baked in.

Edited Sunday at 10:52 AM by gettoefl

[Basman]

Men tend to have fewer resources for intimacy and emotional connection than women outside of romantic relationships and generally benefit more from them compared to women. Married men are on average twice as happy as unmarried men

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/closer-encounters/202501/men-need-romantic-relationships-more-than-women

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-is-happiest-married-mothers-and-fathers-per-the-latest-general-social-survey

I think men are by nature more picky about committing to a relationship so I think it is quiet natural for guys to ask these kind of questions. It is kind of the equivalent of when women say there no good men anymore. It more so a matter of mindset toward the challenge of dating or just an expression of exasperation rather than something objectively wrong with the environment necessarily in my opinion.