How to become more masculine?

[Never_give_up]

I feel like I have a lot of feminine traits that are unnatractive to women to a very big extent and not many masculine traits . How do I become more masculine?

My parents never taught me anything about masculinity, I didn't even know masculinity and femininity was a thing, I only now start to learn about it.

examples: I am not a leader (hate leading), i am shy (that's the worse thing ever for a man), my looks are just bad (too short), no humour, I don't have enough courage unless someone wants to fight me (i always defend myself), i feel amazing if a woman gives me attention (that's too feminine) and the list goes on and on.

I really need to work a lot to change but I don't know how and what to change.

[gambler]

Well, getting abused is a fast and brute way of developing a masculine side. Growing up I was a very soft, kind, and harmless kid. I was picked on, had my boundaries violated, and became even more insecure. I began playing the masculine role to compensate for my insecurities. But a lot of it was an illusion. I was still very much held back by my inhibitions and submissive at the core. Until I started unraveling in response to the consequences of being soft. But what comes with that is a narcissistic type of ego, ton of bitterness, rage, resentment, hate, etc. My masculine side is mostly just unfettered rage. 

Edited April 27 by gambler

[Hojo]

Feminine - letting everyone in your head

Masculine - kicking everyone out of your head

[gambler]

10 minutes ago, Hojo said:

Feminine - letting everyone in your head

Masculine - kicking everyone out of your head

You can be someone who doesn’t consciously think of others and their opinions of you, but it influences you subconsciously without you realizing it. So you may think no one is in your head, but your shyness, timidness, etc., is also a byproduct of how people receive you and what they expect from you; through their behavior with you and the things they say to you. 

[Hojo]

@gambler Yes being masculine is to go beyond that no one can enter your force field that means no shyness timidness you are stone cold. Other people dont change you at all. You are alone until you choose to let them.

Edited April 27 by Hojo

[Spiral]

Easy, you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most.

So spend time with masculine people. I used to hang out with a gay and feminine dude. People used to think I was gay too, even when they didn’t know of his existence. He moved away and people haven’t thought that about me in years.

Edited April 27 by Spiral

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Hojo said:

Feminine - letting everyone in your head

Masculine - kicking everyone out of your head

That's pretty true.

Edited April 27 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

7 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

I feel like I have a lot of feminine traits that are unnatractive to women to a very big extent and not many masculine traits . How do I become more masculine?

My parents never taught me anything about masculinity, I didn't even know masculinity and femininity was a thing, I only now start to learn about it.

examples: I am not a leader (hate leading), i am shy (that's the worse thing ever for a man), my looks are just bad (too short), no humour, I don't have enough courage unless someone wants to fight me (i always defend myself), i feel amazing if a woman gives me attention (that's too feminine) and the list goes on and on.

I really need to work a lot to change but I don't know how and what to change.

You need to mentally program yourself, even though I'm not expert in this area.

You can also help yourself by taking long-term courses of high doses of androgens.
Not only do we have less testosterone than our grandparents, but we're also less sensitive to it because of endocrine disruptors.

I wrote a post in my journal describing exactly how to do this and my experience.

The "Day 23" post :

 

[Schizophonia]

But your self-esteem issue is different from the issue of gender expression.
Having low self-esteem or simply being shy doesn't mean you're not masculine.

It has nothing to do with it.

[Someone here]

For physical masculinity: eat like a beast .you have to be eating like every other hour ....nah I'm joking 😂...but seriously just make sure you nurture your body very well. Eggs ..milk ..meat ..Seafood..nuts ..fruits ..etc are great .

And you ABSOLUTELY MUST work out .hit the gym .if you can't buy some weights and lift .if you can't then lift your gas tanks .lift some heavy shit .

For mental masculinity: own a gun .

Also I'm not sure how old are you or some details about your life but you gotta put your manhood stick inside some female at some point or another. 

Edited April 27 by Someone here

[Raze]

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-masculinity-or-are-you-man-enough
 

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-have-powerful-masculine-presence

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woWLJ-tXFiE

 

[Princess Arabia]

If you're only doing it for women, it may not be a good idea. You may end up resenting women for it. Not sure how old you are, but you seem quite young from what you've said. Maybe time and experience will allow for the masculine side of you to flourish. It could just be who you are also; nothing wrong with that. Lots of women are attracted to the feminine side of men. It may just mean you'll attract more masculine-type women and that doesn't necessarily mean in their appearance, but their ways which could be complimentary to yours. Embrace who you are, and the women will feel that and be attracted anyway. Maybe what's not attractive to some, is that they can sense you're not comfortable in your own skin.

All that hit the gym and stuff like that is just a mask to hide what you really feel inside. Gym is great for health purposes, but if it's to compensate to feel masculine, the feminine side will just be repressed and manifest in other ways and now you're left with hating yourself and your feminine side. Personally, too much aggression in a man is a turn off for me. It's not that I prefer feminine men, but I like when they show that side when they're around me and leave all that aggression when with the guys or when it's needed appropriately like in bed. Hehe. Masculinity is not about muscles and a six pack, it's in one's mental attitude and the way they show up. When I see bulk, all I see is a whimp inside. Strength in a man for me is one who's not afraid to show both sides and knows how to respond respectively. 

[shree]

Heal your past traumas, trauma responses, and trauma-bond relationships.
As you heal, the people-pleasing, shyness, and insecurity will naturally fade away.
Your real masculine energy will show up by itself,  because it was always there underneath the pain.

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, shree said:

Your real masculine energy will show up by itself,  because it was always there underneath the pain.

Believe it or not, lots of so-called masculine traits that men exude stems from past-trauma and were told they're not a man if.....which can lead to lots of men becoming more aggressive, angry, suicidal, resentful and feeling hurt by society. See my latest video in the powerful(dating and relationships) section with Lisa Bilyeu. He speaks about this in the first 15mins. Maybe what we're really seeing in masculine men is the pain they're dealing with. Maybe OP isn't dealing with any pain, but the stigma of needing to show masculine qualities as a man by society's standards. 

This video. Just watch the first 15 mind or so to see what I'm saying.

Edited April 27 by Princess Arabia

[Someone here]

@Princess Arabia you hinted at my comment about "hitting the gym and bulking ". You are a woman ..what is your understanding of how to become masculine?  You should be busy figuring out your Femininity right? 

I will tell you what men are and what kind of life they live . Most men are thugs .they are dickheads .they are atheists .testosterone does that .We're doomed to suffer then die. No friends no one says hi no nothing .. He  seriously need to disappear from this world in an instant. It won't change anything. "Yeah" "Sorry" "Try this" "That" "No" "Yes" "You're wrong" "You're right" Makes no fucking sense to him .women are like children. Once they marry then life is done for them they are comfortable for the rest of their lives .men only get rest when they blow their last breath. 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

you hinted at my comment about "hitting the gym and bulking ". You are a woman ..what is your understanding of how to become masculine?  You should be busy figuring out your Femininity right? 

This is where you're limited in your thinking. Why do I have to go and understand how to become what I am already. What's there to figure out - only observe. It's the masculine that I am interested in, so that's where it makes sense to go study and try to understand. I already understand you, you're a softy trying to appear hard but only come off as a hard dick. 😛😛

[shree]

@Princess Arabia

When I imagine a masculine man, I see someone who stands firm and clear-headed when things get dicey.
A man with a strong sense of purpose, clearly defined high-consciousness values, who doesn't fawn, freeze, or fold under pressure.
A man fully aware of his past traumas, how they shaped him, and how they trigger him - and he owns it.

I couldn't care less about the mainstream "masculine man" image - it's mostly gym bro nonsense.
Boys with big muscles, angry rapper faces, and mob mentality who stand for absolutely nothing real in life.

 

I am in the middle of doing something right now...   I will check the video later if i find some time.

Edited April 27 by shree

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, shree said:

@Princess Arabia

When I imagine a masculine man, I see someone who stands firm and clear-headed when things get dicey.
A man with a strong sense of purpose, clearly defined high-consciousness values, who doesn't fawn, freeze, or fold under pressure.
A man fully aware of his past traumas, how they shaped him, and how they trigger him - and he owns it.

I couldn't care less about the mainstream "masculine man" image - it's mostly gym bro nonsense.
Boys with big muscles, angry rapper faces, and mob mentality who stand for absolutely nothing real in life.

Ok, well now I'm on that level. In the video he also spoke about what you mentioned in your last paragraph and how he tried those things that left him feeling what I mentioned. Yes, I like your definition and can be seen in men with no muscles or a big hairy chest or deep voice. OP could also possess some of those masculine traits you described.

[Someone here]

@Princess Arabia you overdrinked last night? Is that a hangover? In any case you seem unstable so I will leave you alone for now.when you get back to reality hite up 

 

To OP.. 

Bottom line is you 

you just act masculine it doesn’t mean that you are more masculine.
If your goal is to be a masculine man impersonator just imitate what other dudes do.
Now if you want to be more masculine:

look inside and deal with you insecurities (you may discover that your need to act more masculine is not as important anymore)

hang out with manly me.... their way to talk and act will turn into second nature to you if you become one of them

do manly shit..masculine men do manly shit. again find a set ofpeerss.. do stuff together and you will become real masculine not just act masculine.

Edited April 27 by Someone here

[Schizophonia]

Just now, Someone here said:

@Princess Arabia you overdrinked last night? Is that a hangover? In any case you seem unstable so I will leave you alone for now.when you get back to reality hite up 

 

To OP.. 

Bottom line is you 

you just act masculine it doesn’t mean that you are more masculine.
If your goal is to be a masculine man impersonator just imitate what other dudes do.
Now if you want to be more masculine:

look inside and deal with you insecurities (you may discover that your need to act more masculine is not as important anymore)

hang out with manly me.... their way to talk and act will turn into second nature to you if you become one of them

do manly shit..masculine men do manly shit. again find a set ofpeerss.. do stuff together and you will become real masculine not just act masculine.

Do things what you love.