Girlfriends

[Prabhaker]

13 hours ago, Loreena said:

When a guy has multiple skills the attraction is just irresistible, at least for me.

Do you have multiple skills ?

 

[electroBeam]

11 minutes ago, Loreena said:

Try not to be an asshole, a punk or a juvenile manchild walking down the street with his pants sagging down...that can help.

its called lo-riding, FYI.

but how else are we gonna show that we have a big D.

[Loreena]

@electroBeam imo, the other skills are more important than the bedroom skills. 

[Loreena]

20 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Do you have multiple skills ?

 

Not sure. Maybe I don't. 

[Prabhaker]

2 minutes ago, Loreena said:

Not sure. Maybe I don't. 

Then why should a guy have multiple skills when you never tried to attain it ?

[Shane597]

I am with Lorena on this, pick skills don't mean very much to me. I value deep emotional connections with women and I can still attract them. 

[Shane597]

I also agree that it should be about falling in love rather than just fucking quick, but that is not really how it is with a lot of people. @Loreena

[Loreena]

19 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Then why should a guy have multiple skills when you never tried to attain it ?

When did I say that I never tried to attain it. Obviously I should work on myself as well. That's why we are here for PD (and for other reasons like career etc)

That's wrong man. You mean to say a blind girl should not marry a guy with normal eyesight. It's all about expectations. Relationships are supposed to be complementary, not a race or competition of comparative qualities. It's not some matching game. If I am happy with a guy, that's all that matters. But there are certain things I might find attractive and certain things that he can find attractive as well. Your way of suggesting it is as though an ugly guy should never think of having a relationship with a beautiful girl, that's very close minded. 

Both should work on their abilities and qualities and not expect the other to just like them. 

I said that I like a guy with certain things. But I never said that he should like me or accept me despite (me) lacking things he wants in me. He is free to reject me just as I am free to reject him. 

But it's wrong to say that a person should not expect something. If they find something attractive, they find it attractive whether they themselves have it or not.  

If I want to attract a particular guy, I should be as he wants me to be, so he can like me and I should try to attain it and not expect him to like me just because I am approaching him. And I should not be seeing what he has or has not, because it is me who is trying to attract him. And likewise, if he wants to attract me, he should try to develop what I want in him, whether I myself have it or not. It's mutual. 

I hope that cleared up what I was trying to say earlier. 

 

Edited May 8, 2017 by Loreena

[Loreena]

7 minutes ago, Shane597 said:

I also agree that it should be about falling in love rather than just fucking quick, but that is not really how it is with a lot of people. @Loreena

That's true mate.

[Shane597]

@Loreena  I totally resonate with everything you are saying, unfortantly that is not how it works at all. 

[Loreena]

@Shane597 Yeah... that's unfortunate though. 

 

 

[Shane597]

If I try to actually tell a women what I want they will not be attracted. Because I value knowing the person on a deep level and not having sex at first the girl probably thought I was afraid to lay a move on her when I went on a blind date and therefore thought I was not a man, when in fact I am, I just have different values, but everyone judges especially if you don't fit a stereotype. I can attract women, I just like to see who they are first, but that does not work in western society most the time.

[Shane597]

To continue, I am learning pick to survive in western society and follow the mob to atract my dream girlfriend@Loreena

[Loreena]

@Shane597  You might try it. You might find one. But don't waste too much of yourself into it. Life is about living. Let go if you don't get. Don't lose yourself in the artificial race created by society.For the same reason, lot of guys turn into monks, because they are fed up of losing themselves in the mindless illusions created by society.

Remember Leo's 30 ways in which society fucks.....my fav video. 

You have to be able to dissociate yourself from social pressure and realize when something is too much. 

Don't get blinded in the run for life (and girls. )

Your time is valuable and your life is too precious to waste in a never-ending chase for stuff. 

My only advice is - you have to develop yourself and become a better person to attract someone. But you don't need to lose yourself, compromise with your values, or completely change your being to get something. It's not worth it. Don't give into peer pressure and lose your identity. That never helps. 

[electroBeam]

1 hour ago, Loreena said:

f I want to attract a particular guy, I should be as he wants me to be

Thats the perfect definition of an individual who is allowing themselves to be ruled by external vibrations, rather than actualizing their own vibration.

No you shouldnt be as he wants you to be. You should be as your true self wants you to be.

Ive tried that method - acting like a marketing expert, and just doing things that are mechanically going to work. Its not how the universe works.

[Loreena]

18 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Thats the perfect definition of an individual who is allowing themselves to be ruled by external vibrations, rather than actualizing their own vibration.

No you shouldnt be as he wants you to be. You should be as your true self wants you to be.

Ive tried that method - acting like a marketing expert, and just doing things that are mechanically going to work. Its not how the universe works.

Well I never meant to say that you should have to completely change your sense of self. You should be your true self. But not too stubborn. You may lack certain things  that others admire and acquiring those is just a part of growth and development and does not translate as "allowing others to rule." Maybe my words were a bit misleading. 

I shouldn't try to be a people pleaser or a magnet nor should I be a stubborn egotistical mule resistant to change and not ready to budge even a little. 

I shouldn't be exactly how he wants me to be, but developing  certain skills or qualities that he admires is not a big deal if I really like him. It means flexibility and balance.

Edited May 8, 2017 by Loreena

[SFRL]

@Shane597

[SFRL]

6 hours ago, Loreena said:

@Shane597  You might try it. You might find one. But don't waste too much of yourself into it. Life is about living. Let go if you don't get. Don't lose yourself in the artificial race created by society.For the same reason, lot of guys turn into monks, because they are fed up of losing themselves in the mindless illusions created by society.

Remember Leo's 30 ways in which society fucks.....my fav video. 

You have to be able to dissociate yourself from social pressure and realize when something is too much. 

Don't get blinded in the run for life (and girls. )

Your time is valuable and your life is too precious to waste in a never-ending chase for stuff. 

My only advice is - you have to develop yourself and become a better person to attract someone. But you don't need to lose yourself, compromise with your values, or completely change your being to get something. It's not worth it. Don't give into peer pressure and lose your identity. That never helps. 

You come from the hot chick perspective. A pretty woman will always have a legion of guys lining up willing to date her. Therefore you grew up into an abundance mentality. And you don't even realize it. Because that's just how it is for you, because it has always been that way. There is a blind spot there. 

But for a nerdy guy it just doesn't work like that. If a guy like that just keeps doing what he always has been doing he will never be in control of his life. Just being himself is not going to cut it. Maybe some day by 'luck' he will land some girl. And then he has to be with her because that is the card he got dealt. 

Edited May 8, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

12 hours ago, Shane597 said:

Try not to make asumtions please.@aryberry

THIS right here is exactly your problem. You are not OWNING who you are and what your desires are. You started this topic about dating and getting a girlfriend. Then you turn around later and claim you are just talking in general. 

Tell me what is it you want? Because the topic of this tread seems to state it to me very clearly. 

And that's your problem right there. You are not holding your frame. And therefore you are not congruent. 

When you go out with a girl and you say A. And she says B.  You don't just start saying B as well. You keep with position A. That polorizes. And polorazation creates sexual attraction. You are a guy she is a girl after all. Don't become the same. 

Edited May 8, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]