Shane597

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About Shane597

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  • Birthday 05/23/1997

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  • Location
    Moscow, ID
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. @SFRL @Amer What are your guys thoughts on polyamorous? She actually wanted that with me at a certain point. I don't think I can handle that though.
  2. I just went through a bad relationship. I keep on doubting myself on and off on if I screwed up, or if she did. It seems like she did because she cheated on me and lied to me. Also, I did because I was not the best at listening sometimes, but it seems more like she was just so narcissistic( making fun of people who were less intelligent than her and she even pointed out all my little flaws which were also not nice) and lacked social skills for the communication to work well. Honestly, I can't see clearly, but it seems like she had a lot of baggage( she had 15 relationships before me and was only 22 and one abusive one) and unrealistic expectations considering she needed me to be good at sex and I lacked experience and she struggled with socializing and feeling comfortable in her own skin, so it made our relationship hard. I don't seem to struggle at socializing generally, except, when I share an insight or share a complex aspect of "myself". Also, she was not ready for any commitment, so it was hard for me, she seemed overly concerned about, sex and me touching her. I honestly think she was just not the right person, considering she lacked patience and did not let me learn how to manage a relationship better and touch her. Women with no tolerance for lack of experience really are shallow and selfish when I am trying my best to satisfy her needs and "give" all I can. It seemed like it was mostly her because the experience is not something someone can do anything about, except, live and learn. I get it, girls like guys experienced, but the lack of experience does not mean they are not capable of making a relationship work, it just takes the girl being a little less selfish and letting the man learn. She only gave me like a two week trial for sexual relations the first time we started doing sexual things she literally threw herself onto me and I knew her for a little over two months. But basically, she decided that I lacked too much experience to even continue the relationship and that she did not get a chance to talk enough and that I sucked in bed( we did not quite have vaginal sex, but had most of the other types of sex). Which from self-reflection, it was half true but not as bad as she made it out to be, her projection of me not knowing anything about sex or relationships made it worse. But during our relationship, she did "show" a lot of affection and care for me and she even said, "love you" once, but she spent time with another guy with a little better attraction skills and with more experience while we were dating and while she was falling for me. Yes, I know, she meant it in the moment. I think she just has a need for a lot of attention. She still is very open to being friends, however, I have made it clear that I want sexual relations with her. So I have decided we are not going to be friends and no contact unless she changes her mind. Do you think this is more of me that screwed up or her? Also, I felt a deep connection( maybe love) with this girl that I have never felt, but she lied and cheated on me, while I seriously treated her well, I was light-hearted, funny, insightful, touchy on occasions, as considerate as I knew to be and caring. So, I don't know. I can't seem to completely shut the door on her because I know she did not mean to do this to me, however, she did and she "currently" is falling for the other guy because I was a little "needy" and pushy and she sees me as me liking her more than I like her. Thanks for listening.
  3. Ya, honestly, just look good and make eye contact and approach. Have your life together too and be nice. I am so attracted to nice women who are mature and have their shit together. In fact, maturity and centeredness is just as important to me as looks. @Aquarius
  4. I would not contact this girl again. Move on and go find a girl you have stuff in comon with. Go out dancing and meet new people. Make friends first. It is hard to make girls feel comfortable. My advice would be to be afraid of nothing. When i got laid I let her do all the talking and I asked her questions. I was sexual and care free. Also, you need to realize it is not just you that is making the situation uncomfortable, it is her too. She is insecure about herself too, otherwise, she would have been more understanding and not afraid of silence. At this age it is just hard to have fluent conversations with people because of social media and our ego formation. Don't worry about your failure. @Nadosa
  5. @K VIL Man, she is completely wrong. Is Leo needy for sharing his life-changing insights? Is it needy to value someone's existence and friendship? No! Relationships are spiritual. I did get impatient and honestly, there were points in the conversation that I was needy and impatient, but overall, I am not needy at all. Everyone is needy to some degree anyway we just figure out how to filter our thoughts and play the "game". Those that are seen as completely non-needy are actually needy to some degree because if they did not present themselves authentically or get the quality of people in their lives by staying centered they would seek out other ways. For instance, Leo did not naturally get experience with girls, he had to put himself out there. Is this needy or is this taking ownership of your unique life circumstances? Yes, a lot of guys are actually needy because they are looking for pure fulfillment out of a relationship and happiness. So neediness comes and goes to everyone whether we admit it or not, we are social creatures and we like to let each other know we exist, that is what we are doing on this forum. But I am not looking for that, I want to inspire people. My intent is different, and that is what makes all the difference, everyone knows that. Actions say a lot, but intent reveals our true nature and that is why I never judge a person by their actions because intent is more important "period".
  6. I am eager to meet people that understand the way I think. And very few people are out there that have the time or are on the same understanding. I simply value connections and making a difference in someone's life, just drop you beliefs of what neediness is. She could not be farther from the truth.
  7. I am not needy, I am looking to meet people I can actually talk to on a deep level my age in my area. I have already turned inward on this hard. What frightens me is not being understood by anyone because they are too closed-minded and selfish.
  8. I just had the same thing happen to me again. A "girl" was interested, then she though I was desperate and needy when I tried sharing my profound discoveries about life and she now she is closed to any other alternatives because most men that text pretty girls a lot are seen as not to being trusted aka "needy"but this paradigm is limited. To her I am desperate and on the verge of being a stalker and she won't open her mind. I just want to share with people my knowledge wisdom that has changed my life. Men don't open up to my understanding either. Everyone is so closed. Of course people will grow up eventually, but still they can't see and most people around me are like that. Also, yes, I can get the art of influence down better, but still, I just want someone I don't have to play the game with. Rules are annoying. I know I need to be patient, but I need more reason to keep on putting myslef out there to make real friends and form romantic relationships. If I sound full of myself here, that is not my intent.
  9. Everyone really is different. Some people do have unique body language and ways of presenting themselves. This is just a fact we are all very different, but we have similarities. @BobbyLowell
  10. @BobbyLowell @Spiral Well, I did not mean to come off the way I did to these people and I certainly did not mean to seem like I was picking out their flaws if it seemed that way to them. Honestly, I am still so lost on the situation. I also seem to present myself inathentically most of the time because I am very complex and because I don't like the harsh environment.
  11. Honestly, I am trying to fill a friends need because I have very few and have not made many at my new home location. There is a difference between filling a gap and achieving needs, but I am going about it the wrong way with girls. And yes, I am trying to help people, but I am going about it the wrong way too. @Spiral
  12. @Spiral I open up about personal development and spituality. Which is dumb of me. I also like to come off real and completely honest. It turns into me coming off as desperate which is not me, well, there is no me. But yes that is me hating the system and not accepting reality. I really am fucked up. I just for some reason want to do everything different from the book Cory Wayne wrote on how to date people. But I am not looking at dating and his tips still apply to making friends. I just don't like the system and yet it can't be any other way. I just don't like how people are so closed minded and so I stupidly try to give wisdom and if they take in wrong I get frustrated. I really am stupid in this way. I just don't give a fuck anymore about the rules to making friends. I try to do everything backwards because I hate the game and I don't like Cory Wayne, he is promoting a myopic way to date and form relationships. But like I said, I am fucked up in this sense because I don't care enough to get the results I actually want. I have a hard time not fucking my chances up due to anger and past experiences. I just need to let go and play the stupid game. But it is not stupid that is just my ego talking. My fucking ego. Fuck my ego. I just need to let go of this lie I am living, but how? I attract people so easily when I stop trying to go against the game. God fuck my ego, It really ruins my life and makes life possible. Yes, I see holes in my logic and yes this is egoic. But it does not mean this frustration goes away all the time, even if I meditate. It pops up as a reminder that I suck at the game and I am disliking myself. Which I need to get over this bullshit because it is such a waste of time to worry too much about friends.
  13. @Shane597 I open up about personal development and spituality. Which is dumb of me. I also like to come off real and completely honest. It turns into me coming off as desperate which is not me, well, there is no me. But yes that is me hating the system and not accepting reality. I really am fucked up. I just for some reason want to do everything different from the book Cory Wayne wrote on how to date people. But I am not looking at dating and his tips still apply to making friends. I just don't like the system and yet it can't be any other way. I just don't like how people are so closed minded and so I stupidly try to give wisdom and if they take in wrong I get frustrated. I really am stupid in this way. I just don't give a fuck anymore about the rules to making friends. I try to do everything backwards because I hate the game and I don't like Cory Wayne, he is promoting a myopic way to date and form relationships. But like I said, I am fucked up in this sense because I don't care enough to get the results I actually want. I have a hard time not fucking my chances up due to anger and past experiences. I just need to let go, and play the stupid game. But it is not stupid that is just my ego talking. My fucking ego. Fuck my ego. I just need to let go of this lie I am living, but how? I attract people so easily when I stop trying to go against the game. God fuck my ego, It really ruins my life and makes life possible.
  14. @Spiral Why would they? I don't have many problems. I just struggle to make a good first impression and don't understand where the lines are sometimes.